Red Twilight

April 4, 2009
By Anonymous

Chapter One

The only being in humanity I wanted to speak to was Grandma Rosemary, not thinking got me into a nightmarish catastrophe of trouble; school was a living hell, torture chambers and all (Detention).
And of course I knew my Father enough that he definitely wouldn’t understand anything about being harassed and me trying to fight back but because he was a “normal” teenager (I still have my doubt’s) he did the bulling and harassing himself, also being so far above the ground in his maintenance job now, I didn’t want to tell him and get his disappointed face once AGAIN.
Grandma Rosemary would reassure her that all young people were like this in one point of their youth and of course she would not scold me; just like a grandma should be and pleased about it as I was. Before I headed to Grandma Rosemary’s house I knew I should leave a note telling where I am for Dad.
Walking into the living room I spotted my favorite blue gel pen and swung my backpack off my shoulder; unzipping the bag I took out my favorite notebook with My Chemical Romance on it, ripped out a piece of the paper and set it on the table and rushed over to get my favorite pen, sat down grateful that Bethany (my little sister two years younger than me at the age of misery for me and Dad equals thirteen) wasn’t here yet, to wreck my weekend with my much loved Grandma as always.
I laughed at the thought of Bethany tattle telling on me, But she did it once before and I got in tons of trouble and I wasn’t going for number TWO. In a hurry I rushed with my writing on the paper my hand flying on the paper.
Dear Dad,
I’m going to Grandma Rosemary’s for the weekend,
You can call her house telephone to see if I am really there.
I’ll see you next Monday afternoon after school.
Love Poison!
Neatly sitting the pen down on the coffee table and reading the piece of paper two times to make sure it was acceptable, I nodded once in encouragement and set the paper down with a long look and sighed self conscious for some odd reason.
Almost running up the staircase I flew into my room like the Grudge was behind me slammed the door shut with a noisy Thud and took the unnecessary steps to calm myself and threw my drawers open for my favorite outfits and stuffed my Slipknot backpack with the other necessary possessions for the weekends trip.
With trembling hands I tried to zip the bag with failure then tried it the second time with more success and chucked my door open with anticipation expecting Bethany to be standing there hands on hips shaking her head, Glad that they were only in nightmares and she was out with her friends today.
Darting downstairs and then I heard the worst sound in the world possible.
My Dads Cadillac’s swerving into the garage.
Panic threw me of balance for a few millenniums, but I had only seconds to think of a way to get out of here and that had to be now or never.
I dashed to the sliding glass door with my goodies, opened it as I heard Dad close the garage door and walk toward the door into the house, but I was already going around the house to the front.
I checked for my sister in the front yard making sure this wouldn’t turn out to be a nightmare no one was there to my great assumption, I ran to my red and black striped Beadle jumped in and put the keys in the ignition turned the key and the car revved loudly making me jump.
And then I could hear my Dad’s swearing every word in the dictionary he knew even the German ones, as I slid out of the driveway easily and hit the gas, I checked the gas tank it was half-full I could make it to Grandma’s but I would need to make a gas trip back.
It was a two and a half hour drive to Grandma Rosemary’s house but it was very much worth it. I looked at her old wooden two-story log cabin and smiled and I knew that this would be a good weekend for most parts at least.
I walked to the front door and before I could lay a hand on the door she was there, the smell of French Vanilla clinging to the outside air and to my Grandma’s clothes as I hugged her tightly tear’s tempted to brim over.
“Poison, I’ve been expecting you, dear what’s wrong?” she was stroking my hair now and concern was planted on her face.
“G-grandma I got into a mess again w-why does everyone see me s-so differently I just w-want to be n-normal!?!?” I said with breaking word into endless sobbing probably ruining her cute mauve colored outfit.
“Shh its okay lets go inside now and you can tell me all about it, babe.” I nodded and grabbed my bag that I had never noticed dropped and shuffled into the pleasant and warm scented home that was more like a home then with my Dad since my mom died.
“I d-don’t u-understand Grandma. I-I was trying to f-fit in and i-it all went w-wrong.” I said my voice lay thick with sobs and stutters.
“Darling you don’t need to fit in, your just right the way you are.” I shook my head as to disagree but Grandma hugged me tighter with a heartrending look on her face.
“I just c-can’t deal with t-this anymore I h-hate that school, Grandma, Dad just d-doesn’t understand!” I said through clenched teeth now holding onto her warm body.
“Don’t worry my dear; well find a way for you…” Grandma Rosemary was cut off by the door opening and footsteps leading from the kitchen to the living room where we were.
I thought my eyes were going to pop out, in came a six foot boy he reminded her of the boys off a magazine called GQ.
“I came to visit is it a bad moment?” he asked his eyes taking me in, I knew my eyes were red my make up smudged my hair in matted chaos he must think I am the most unruly girl in the world.
I covered my face in grandma’s shoulder self-consciously as she spoke.
“Yes it is a bad time, could you come back later, I am talking to my Granddaughter right now.” She said softly looking at my appearance with unease.
“N-no it’s fine G-grandma I need to u-unpack my things a-anyways.” I stuttered and grabbed my bag and scatted up the stairs in the nick of time filling Grandma and the boys gaze on my back.
The familiar guest room I had came to almost every year was brightly lit by the evening sun, the remembered soothing filling came to me as it did every other time in this room.
I looked around found the bed had brand new black and white comforters the walls were colored a dark red color now.
Grandma knows me best almost too well for my own good I thought a tear running down my cheek at the thought of Grandma and me just running off.
I took my bag off my shoulder and opened to get out my compact mirror, knowing I looked like hell. My iPod fell out and I slipping the headphones on and turned the IPod on to find a very mocking song on, Pieces of me was playing I listened and cried inside and outside trying my hardest to whip off my makeup as I did so.
Before I knew it I had fallen asleep the last thing I heard was my Grandma’s voice calling me by my genuine name
“Have a good night’s sleep you earned it, Whitney.” She kissed my brow put the covers over my body and I was gone into oblivion.
I woke up exhausted half-expecting it to be bright outside, it wasn’t I sat up and stared at the still darkened room.
Still drained from yesterday’s fiasco but still vibrantly unable to doze off I thought of ways to make myself calm enough to sleep.
Remembering the boy from just mere hours ago his to perfect face, his lean body his wildly tousled black bed hair his gorgeous vivid dark blue eyes covered by a dark black trim of lashes that fanned his cheekbones when he blinked.
I started to sing My Immortal without knowing it think of the boy I could never be with.
And then it clicked there, what if I moved into Grandma’s house?
It was a better idea than trying to get my own apartment at fifteen years old like anyone would buy that I’m eighteen, right I might look older but not that old.
Trying to think about other things then the stunning (demigod) from before I finally fell back to sleep my heavy eye-lids drooping down as a sea of darkness threatened to drag me under the water and I fell for the simply ploy of sleep as played by my consciousness.

The author's comments:
I wrote this to show that I can think, read, and write a women only seven years older then me told me if I didn't get out of a sink hole and try I would always be a re-run so I'm trying and I hope I make it too the top.

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This article has 2 comments.

oddpen SILVER said...
on Aug. 1 2009 at 4:01 pm
oddpen SILVER, Shapleigh, Maine
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
You have to make the descending notes sound more like psychotic laughter!

~Dr. Keller~

Quite good, and has a lot of potential, but I'm curious about a few things. First of all, who was the boy? I'd like to find out a little more about him. Also, is that the end of the story???? I want to find out more!!!! Does Poison move in with her Grandma? What does her dad think? Does she ever get to know the boy? But all in all, I like the story a lot. It had a strong voice and a decisive character. Write More!!!!!!!!!!

on Apr. 8 2009 at 4:33 pm
Denae Worcester BRONZE, Castle Rock, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 31 comments
Well, there were typos and run-on sentences, but, all-in-all, not bad. I liked the voice of the character and her strong decision making and resolve.

I didn't like the loose-ends ending. Maybe next time try to give more of solution, show her asking her grandmother if she could stay. What was the point of the boy except to distract your character? Does your character feel any conflict about leaving her sister alone? What exactly did she do in school?

Some parts you were good at being specific, like naming certain songs or type of car, but other parts you may need to work on a bit, just to make the story come to life more.


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