My Brain Racking Decision

October 29, 2017
Custom User Avatar
More by this author

As I stepped into the door of Ramapo High School, I wondered how I got there. I did not know where to go or how to get to any of my classes. I felt like an outsider. I saw the long hallways, and as I walked around, I began to discover the confusing layout. The school was an endless maze, that in which I would never find the exit. Also, the crowded hallways with people rushing through seemed overwhelming. The decision that had been racking my brain and led me to where I was, was what high school I wanted to attend, Indian Hills or Ramapo. The choice I made would define the next four years of my life. It would help define who I was, and shape who I would become. At that moment in time, I remembered all the pros and cons I laid out in my head, and I wondered if I had made the right choice. I thought to myself, “Did I make the best decision for myself, or did I make a sacrifice for my friends? Should I have chosen Indian Hills?”
Over the summer I can remember panicking and thinking, “Did I really make the right choice?” I was with one of my closest friends, Eva, who goes to Indian Hills, and I told her I regretted my decision. I said choosing Ramapo was a mistake. I explained to her that the only reason why I wanted to go to Ramapo was because I did not want to be separated from my two best friends. On the flipside, I said that I wanted a fresh start, and by going to Indian Hills, I would have that opportunity. I believed this because I liked the crowd better and the people I would be surrounded by. Also, I told her I didn’t want to play soccer at such a competitive level, but looking back, I was just intimidated by my competition, and I thought I would not make the team.
One of my goals in life is becoming a doctor. It has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember, and after watching many seasons of Grey’s Anatomy, I have been even more obsessed with the idea. At Indian Hills they offer a medical program, and once I found out about it, I knew I wanted to participate in it. It was like a dream come true. The only problem was that I would mean going to a different school then my two best friends and that thought broke my heart.
Another factor I considered was the fact that both of my parents went to Indian Hills. Growing up, I always thought I would go there and follow in their footsteps. They had told me how great the school was, and about the memories they made. I wanted to have a similar experience. Also, I almost felt like my parents expected for me to go there, and persuaded me when making my decision. However, in the end it was up to me. They told me to follow my heart and do what was best for me, but honestly, I didn’t know what was best for me.
I remember the night of the Indian Hills open house like it was yesterday. Both of my parents were overwhelmed with excitement because they wanted to go back and reminisce on all the great times they had. I was also overjoyed thinking that I was at my future high school. The only problem was that the hallways seemed confusing to get around, but I figured I would find my way around. I could picture myself walking to class, and knowing my way around. It was like I could see the future. My choice would shape my high school experience, the next four years of my life.
The next day at school I was given a form. On the top of the page, right in the center were two boxes, and next to one said Indian Hills, the other said Ramapo. My teacher explained to the class to check the box of the school we wanted to attend, and at the bottom were  electives we could choose from. As I picked up my pencil, my heart told me to choose Indian Hills, as it had always been my decision. However, a part of me was conflicted and told me to follow my friends, choose Ramapo, and to challenge myself by trying out for the soccer team. When I saw my friends later that day they had told me they had already filled out the form and selected the electives they wanted to take. I was disappointed when they told me their final decision of choosing Ramapo. I knew that no matter what I said, I would not be able to change their minds. Their decisions had been made.
Later that day as I sat in my room and unpacked my backpack, I was reminded about the painful choice I had to make. I laid the form out in front of me and thought, “What is best for me? What do I want? Not what my friends want me to do.” After countless times of going back and forth and thinking about my reasons for going to each school, I made a rational decision. I checked off Ramapo. There I could be with my friends, play soccer at a competitive level like I wanted, and go to the school that I ultimately liked better. At the same time, I was terrified to start high school. I didn’t want to base my decision on what my parents wanted or the people I was intimidated by. I did what was best for me.
Now looking back at my decision, I know I made the right choice. I ended up in the right crowd, and met tons of new people. I was also able to become closer friends with some of the people who I never knew that well from middle school. Another opportunity I have from going to Ramapo was making the JV the soccer team and having the chance to become friends with some upperclassmen. During preseason, they were able to take me on a tour around the hallways, and tell me about the teachers I had. Even though, I did not get to participate in UP program I wanted to be in, I don’t think I am missing out. I have had so many memorable experiences so far at Ramapo, and I am excited to see what the future holds.

Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback