With a heart filled with sadness, regret, love, hope, depression, hopelessness. She knew she had to do it. Every time she sees his face. Hears his voice. Hears his laughter. Anything from him. She feels overwhelmingly guilty. All she needs is to hear him. For him not to know she is there. Just for her to be in the background of his life. It pains her to know that it didn't bother him. It pains her to know that without her he is happy. But without her to drag him down she accepted it. She loved him so much. She respected him. She watched him rise out of the ashes. She knew she was the reason behind his pain. She was right there next to him through it all. Though all the fighting. All the things he has been through. He gave her everything. She stabbed him in the back. Even now as she sits outside his bed chamber crying. She knew she hurt him. He chose the one who was trying to overthrow him behind his back. She shouldn't have done what she had done. But she wanted to give him what he truly wanted. She heard the guards boots on the stone before they saw her. She knew he had ordered her to be thrown in the dungeons. She ran from his door away from the marching. A door opens with a loud creak and string of curses. Another door opens as she turns a corner. In a blur, she is pulled into darkness with strong hands and something like a hand over her mouth.
August 31, 2017