Chapter 1: The Banishment
In a parallel universe, where the Greek gods of Olympus actually exists…. A gorgeous city, resting in place on the island of Atlantis, a peaceful and joyous place to be. The city full of tall sea green and deep blue buildings looks as if it is one with the sea. Lingering above the still Earth in the sky like a child hanging from a tree branch are the gods. One of them, a peculiar beast, stood in the midst of an argument.
“You know what happens when I am around humans! I get tingly and and it just comes out! It's not my fault I barf insanity inducing rock chocolate!” said the creature.
“That's what you said last time, you Stegobayacorns, always making up excuses!” bellowed Poseidon
“Sir, um, actually sir, it is pronounced Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn, sir.”
“DON’T TELL ME I’M WRONG, LONROGBITCORN!!!!!!!”
“THAT’S IT!!!!!! I BANISH YOU TO THE CITY OF ATLANTIS!!!!!”
“But, but, but…”
“Ca…ca…can I at le…leas…least take my Babby?”
Poseidon whips his trident and points it straight at the Babby and Keith dolls in the corner, sending a wave of water towards the dolls.
“Not my!” Screamed Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn.
“ARE YOU KIDDING?” Poseidon bellowed, “I WOULDN’T EVEN LET YOU KEEP YOUR KEITH DOLL!!”
The water seeped inside the dolls, blowing them up in a burst of doll parts. The Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn drops to its knees, or what it has for knees, and desperately picks up shattered pieces attempting to stick them back together using his own spit. Poseidon lifts his trident, creating a portal sending the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn to Atlantis. As soon as the beast disappeared through the swirling portal, Poseidon sat back on his throne with a dismal look on his face. Sighing, he says to himself, “It’s been a long day. What does Poseidon do after a long day?”
Smiling mysteriously, he peers into the hallway for other gods walking by. Once no one was around, he reached into his seat and pulled out his collection of littlest mythical creatures.
“It's my human” said the duckbear.
“I saw it first” said the otterpenguin.
“Now, now “ Poseidon counseled “ You both know it was me who saw it first”.
Zeus walked into the chamber without Poseidon noticing. Silently, Zeus watched as Poseidon played with his toys. Athena comes up from behind, Zeus gestures for her to stay silent and points toward the clueless Poseidon. Soon Zeus and five other gods are hiding behind the plinth snickering into their hands. After long hours of snickering, because they couldn't help it, Poseidon finally notices the red faced gods.
Zeus points at Poseidon and in a childish singsong voice he taunts “you play with toys”
“Nah,nah,nah,na,na,na” chorus the other gods.
“and you don't “ Poseidon challenged. Using multicolored water Poseidon depicts his memories of the six other gods playing with their toys and action figures. And still others trading chariot racer cards in secret complete with bubble pop on the back. All of the gods faces turned fire engine red as they hung their heads and sulked away.
“Now then,” Poseidon whispered mischievously to himself as he shoved the littlest mythical creatures back into his chair,”let us see how our little Stegomelon is doing in Atlantis.”
Chapter 2: Descent From Above
High above the city of Atlantis, a flash of swirling colors appeared, followed by a clueless (and currently sobbing like a baby) Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn still on his knees. The portal lingered for a second, allowing for him to glance up quickly before hurtling down towards the currently non existent ground. Meanwhile…. the streets of Atlantis were lively with the morning rush, vendors sold swordfish and cantaloupe by the pound. In the midst of the crowd stood a little boy who was wearing his training toga, the five year old stood looking cluelessly around the sky. When suddenly a form appeared, but it was floating down not falling. The boy stared amazed by the sight, people wondering what he was staring at looked up as well.
Then the village idiot said “ the god’s have decided to bless us with one of their own, I knew that they would eventually reward us for being a good and loving city”.
He derply looks around to see if anyone agrees with him, but most are thinking “ forget being kind and loving we should have kicked him out years ago. Up above… The creature looks down and realizes he on his way to Atlantis.
“I didn't even get say goodbye to my Babby and Keith dolls” he sobbed, erupting into tears, “I mean I don't even like the ocean, it’s so wet and eciky” he looks down “there sure are a lot of clouds down there… But wait that means that I'm fffffaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg”.
Five minutes later “ggggggggggggg” the he remembers “ oh duh, I can fly”.
He sits back as if in a chair “aaaahhhhh” he sighs “looks like I got nothing to worry about”. Twenty feet were left… Then he crashed into a building and passed out cold.
Chapter 3: A God
Running over to the creature, the village idiot drops to his knees and flings his arms into the air.
“We praise you o…!” He goes silent and falls over with a huge bump on his head.
Standing behind the village idiot is the five year old holding a crowbar. The police came and dragged the idiot away to, most likely, throw him in the ocean where he belongs. The bystanders stood idly to see what the creature will do next. Up on the roof… The creature, still stunned from the crash, rolled over onto his stomach, only to awaken to a sharp stab in his side.
“OWWWWWWW!!!!” the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn screamed in pain, “what in the world is this!”
Pulling out a splinter from his side, he noticed the gaping hole in the roof.
“Oh great,” he sighs putting his hands on his face, “my godly insurance is never going to cover this. What to do? What to do?” he whispers to himself.
Turning around he noticed the crowd of people standing behind him on the ground. Screaming like a two year old, he suddenly gets a tingly feeling in his stomach.
“Oh,” he winces grabbing his mouth and stumbling backwards, “i’m not feeling so good.”
Before he could fly away, a sea of brown, rock flavored chocolate came hurtling out of his mouth, straight towards the front row of people. Screaming in terror, everyone in the area surrounding the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn fled the area to the safety of their own homes. After the spewage ceased, a green looking Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn sat down on the roof.
“I can't believe that Poseidon would send me to place filled with those disgustingly deformed humans. I mean seriously, I was banished because I scared humans, now he put me in a city filled with these monsters. Maybe the other gods should put him in the godly hospital for mentally insane gods, oh great, now he's got me talking to myself” he babbled stupidly to himself. “Well, it’s getting dark out, I'd better go find a cave to sleep in for the night.”
Chapter 4: Must Destroy World
Flying around town he spots a cave on the more isolated side of the island.
“Poifect,” he whispers to himself, “just the place an introvert loves to be.”
Flying inside, he lands on assorted feet, and lays down on a rock surrounded by water. The sunlight of the next morning streamed through the mouth of the cave, waking the sleeping Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn. Opening his tired eyes he saw a figure looming above him, a figure holding a crowbar.
“EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKL!!!!,” He screamed like a two year old being savagely beaten with a tree branch.
“It’s okay Mr. I have a business proposition to make.”
“A who what now…… Proponess busition… I mean bus station prop Loch Ness monster….. I mean
“A business proposition” he repeated with an eye roll.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, I want you want, revenge.”
“How did you know I wanted revenge?”
“I didn’t, you just told me. But anyway, I have a grand idea. Why don’t we take over the world, or Atlantis for now?”
The Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn thinks to himself “since when do five year old’s pastimes include world domination”? In the end the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn decides that the little deformed creature is right, and they begin plotting the destruction of Atlantis.
“First Atlantis, then the world” chuckles Suzy.
Chapter 5: Backstory
Years before the downfall of Atlantis there was a newly married couple. Kerrick and his wife Cecilia. Kerrick and Cecilia were a wonderful couple and were envied all throughout Atlantis, but something plagued them. They wanted a girl of their own, and had plans to name the first child they had ever had Suzy. When they found out they had a boy, they decided to make his life miserable. Naming the poor boy Suzy, they had dedicated their lives to making his whole life as terrible as it could possible be. All throughout Suzy’s life, he was forced to grow his hair to ridiculed lengths, wear dresses over his training toga, and he was treated as if he was a girl. After reaching age four, he changed into a sick minded little ball of fury. Without having a real friend all of these years because he looked like a girl, he acquired a crowbar and painted a face on it. It was like the friend he never had. One day, when his mother went to put a dress over his training toga, he dodged between her legs and bolted out the door with his crowbar. This was the first time he was out of the house alone, and it didn’t matter to him that he was in his training toga, all that mattered was that he was free. Looking up at the sky for the first time in forever, he noticed a vague figure floating down in the sky.
“Oh great, another air rain,” He whispered happily to himself, “just the perfect thing to start my goal towards world domination.”
Watching the figure float down, he realized that it was coming down right on top of the village idiot’s house. He ran over to the spot where he decided the object was going to land and stood there, waiting for it to land. Almost a minute passed by before the creature broke the roof and passed out cold. Inching nearer to the location in which the creature resided, Suzy noticed a slight movement in the creature on the roof, followed by an ear-piercing cry of pain. After a few seconds, the creature turned around and appeared to turn green. Before he could realize what was happening, his right toe was coated with this hard, brown colored goop. He felt his mind expand, and grow older ever so slightly, new ideas entered his head, but one stood out from the rest, a new idea so as to help with his plan of world domination, an alliance.
Chapter 6: The Beginning Of The End
After forming an alliance with the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn and forming an idea towards world domination, the pair decided that it was time to put their devious plan into action. Flying into town, the two of them got into prime position to unleash a grand spewage of insanity inducing rock chocolate onto the town.
“This will show the gods what happens when the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn gets angry.” The creature exclaimed with pride.
“This will show my parents what happens when you name a boy Suzy.” Exclaimed Suzy.
Exchanging confused looks, the pair shrugs and unleashes their plan onto the unknowing citizens below.
“Here goes nothing.” The Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn said as he began barfing all over the town.
“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Shouted Suzy as the chocolate hurtled towards the Earth.
Down below, the citizens screamed in terror as the sky was blackened out by a brown haze and they were coated with a hard, rock flavored chocolate. Slowly, everyone in town was transformed into insane, zombie-like creatures as they broke out of their chocolate brown shell. Headed into the city’s gunpowder reserve located below the island on its support beams, one of the insane people crazily ran into the reserve with a handful of matches and, in turn, blew up the island, sinking it to the bottom of the ocean.
“Now our work here is complete.” said the pair simultaneously as they flew off into the sunset.
Chapter 7: Change Of Plan
Flying to the border where Atlantis used to control, they pair came to an unexpected stop. In front of the duo was a wall of water with no way around or through.
“Why did you stop?” questioned Suzy with a confused look on his face.
“Because,” said the creature, “that water is the work of Poseidon, who ever so as touches that water, is blown to bits.”
“What are we supposed to do now, grow gills and swim underwater?”
Thinking to himself, the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn decided that this might be a great idea!
“Maybe if we control the people of Atlantis, we could find a way to escape this wall of water!”
“Hold on,” screamed the creature, “we are going for a ride underwater!”
Tipping forward, the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn shot down through the air, nearly knocking Suzy off his back, and dove into the water barely making a splash.
Chapter 8: Controlling the People
In the water, the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn sped through the water straight to the ruins of Atlantis. Before their eyes, the once zombie-like, insane people of atlantis were transformed into deformed fish-like creatures with lights jutting out from their foreheads.
“Anglerfish,” joked the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn, “get it, ‘cause it looks like a fishing rod. Eh? Eh?”
A purple faced Suzy shot a glare at him.
“Wait… you can’t breathe.” Creating an air bubble and blowing it towards him, Suzy struggled to gather in the air and his face returned to a normal, skin color. Swimming over to perch themselves in the cave that the creature once called home, they found it still contained mostly air, but with more water than it originally held.
“Now, to control these insane beast…creature…things…whatevers.”
“Anglerfish” Interrupted Suzy
“Yeah, Anglerfish. Anyways, to control them, we must say magical words that are, oddly, written on my shrunken head keychain on my tail. I could never twist to see what it said so I never bothered to try to read it.”
“Where did you get a shrunken head keychain and why hasn’t it come off yet?” Suzy said with a disgusted look on his face.
“I got it off Achilleslist. Awesome website but some really weird stuff is in there. The keychain part is made up of magical unbreakable hair, so I can’t really take it off, but it also causes insanity to don’t let it hit you too hard.”
“Don’t worry, my mind is already broken as it is.,” looking at the head, he noticed the words on the side, “Look, the words here say Iay Ontrolcay Ouyay Ownay Nsaneiay Reaturescay.”
The Earth started to shake vigorously, getting worse as it progressed, and all of the anglerfish creatures began to surface. The shaking ceased and they were left with an army of former people ready to do as the pair desired.
“What do we do now?” asked Suzy.
“I know,” exclaimed Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn, “ we already got your folks turned into insane anglerfish creatures, so why don’t we get revenge on Poseidon for sending me here!”
“Perfect,” Suzy smiled mischievously, “OKAY, MINIONS OF THE SEA, I COMMAND THEE TO CAPTURE ALL OF POSEIDON’S BODYGUARD NARWHALS AND CHAIN THEM TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN. YOU WILL FORCE THEM TO SWIM IN ONE DIRECTION FOR THE REST OF THEIR WORTHLESS LITTLE LIVES UNTIL THEY PERISH.”
Chapter 9: Rotation
Swimming of in a huge wave of creatures, the anglerfish lived the rest of their lives chaining narwhals to the bottom of the ocean. After their 100th narwhal, the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn and Suzy decided to celebrate.
“To us, for our success in capturing the narwhals and…” tumbling to the ground, the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn stopped his sentence short and glanced up. Diving into the ocean with Suzy on his back, a mirage of the Earth appeared in the water in front of them. The once still Earth was now rotating along its axis.
Breathing underwater fire breath, the Stegobayamelonishatilrogbiticorn cheered in joy, along with Suzy, as they had made a difference in life on planet Earth. For as long as time continued, the Earth has and always will rotate.