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I am in a room illuminated by the light of him- Adeib. A flame burns within his heart, a bridge of fire connecting to that of my own. The sparks of our heartstrings are lively, and some sporadically break free in electric shards. They flutter to the ground and settle around us before sprouting into small glass bundles which form the figures of children.Their red hot cheeks are rosy and bright as the sound of their magical crystalline laughter fills the room. Their small arms and chubby hands reach out for me. I bend down towards a child and scoop him up into my cradled arms. The fragile glass baby in my arm smiles at me. Adeib walks over to me, another child in his arms- a daughter- our daughter. Adeib bends over me ever so slightly and plants a kiss upon my forehead. We are alone in the dark, but the fire within our hearts lights our way.
Huddled together, my family, Adeib and the glass children, we are happy. Then a spear bursts through Adeibs chest. He motions to cry out but no sound is made- the fire within him roars and fights. I am suffocating, burning, burning alive. My fire, our fire, it's making the glass within my arms hot. Its scalding and burning and I... I... I drop it. I drop him. My baby! Oh no. Oh no no no. I throw myself to the ground to catch my baby but he shatters into a trillion glass fragments, quickly spreading across the room into the darkness.
I can hear now, and I look up. I look up to see my father, and knife to Adeibs throat. He slits it clean and the blood showers out from his jugular. The blood rains upon me and the fires are put out. My father loosens his hold on my love. Adeib falls to his knees, and then topples to the side. Our daughter, rolls out of his lifeless arms.
I reach for her, and scoop her up. She's still alive. The glass has shielded some of the light within her. My father comes to me- knife in hand. I beg him not to hurt her, and I sheild her from him. I struggle to no avail. He shatters my baby. The same fate of my son- now is met by her. All innocence is lost. My father fades away.
I am alone, in a dark and bloodied room. Glass shards so fine they make a powder blanket the floor. I sweep them together and build a small pile, and scoop up the remnants of my children and hold them to my bare chest- trying to ignite their flames once again. Perhaps I can melt the glass enough for their beautiful and fragile beings to reform. Alas, it did not work.
After days of trying to revive my babies- days that felt like an eternity each- I realise I am truly alone. If I ever shall have children- I must accept the loss of Adeib.
Suddenly I see my father again.
“You must wed an Afghan boy.” he says.
The sound echoes and the room fades away in ripples, they begin to shine then cool and I am in a new place. A room of mirrors.
I stare into the reflection. My arms are withered and red, and the skin across my entire body had been riddled with marks cuts and scars. Deep gashes healed over and formed knots where soft skin once was. I was rough, and I was ugly.
I hear people screaming, and look up towards the sound. The faces of thousands above me scream in horror. They see it too- they see my ugly. I am a monster, tainted, dirtied, and horrible. The mothers and fathers spit at me, the daughters avert their eyes, and the sons look at me with disgust before turning away destined to find a better woman.
The ground crumbles beneath my feet and I am suspended in a free fall. I reach up, crying for help from anyone- anybody at all. But they look away. Panicked and falling into the darkness again I scream with terror. To be alone- alone in the dark world I've fallen into at that- is a fate I do not wish to be forced into.
In the dark I see an image of my mother's face. She cries for her only daughter is gone and alone. My father stands beside her comforting her, saying it's better this way. But my chest pains because it was not his choice to make. I was to build a family. I think of the glass children who could have been mine, and of how I was torn away from Adeib. My whole life, my whole future, shattered.
I lost what was once mine, and now.... Now I am alone in the dark, spinning and falling by myself. No one to save me, no one to care for me.
My skin dries and cracks. I begin to age rapidly throughout my fall until I turn to nothing but dust. I see the remnants of my body whorl within the dark shaft which had become my life, even still after my body was gone- unable to be at peace. I yearn for somebody to catch the dust ashes, to do what is right- to lay me to rest. Still- there is nobody there. No man to love me, no children to care. Even beyond my mortal life I will forever be alone. There is no escape.