people like me

May 24, 2017
By , boulder, CO

How?  How can a person change from the sudden. Today was when I let everything go I think I cried for 8 hours straight, well that's how it felt like. My first thought that passed my mind was death. Yes death I felt so empty inside like if all my organs had been scraped from my body. Like if my heart and soul were fighting to stick together while a sharp sword was striking them nonstop. I felt like my eyes were about to crack, that's how dry they felt after seeing the puddle of each salty drop that stain my pillow. I know what you might be thinking, “she is such an exaggerated person’ but yeah your not wrong. I might exaggerate most of the time but how can I not after what I have experienced. I am not normal, I am not the girl who has a lot of friends. I am not the daughter that my parents congratulate even when she get A’s. I am the girl who everyone thinks they can come to when they feel like it and leave whenever they want. I am the person who is always replaced.  I don't express what I feel, it’s just not who I am but I guess that makes people just think i'm a heartless girl that writes and while probably end up by herself.

Words can’t explain my pain or confusion, the whole point of this is that thanks to all the negativity in my life i've found a reason to keep going. I found out that if I become someone in life and inspire other people I will prove all human beings that doubted me and will make myself proud. The same day when I felt the whole world was against me, when my only friend that I was truly thankful left me for the person that has bullied and destroyed my self esteem, the same week where I was worried if I would graduate in time and if I was going to have the necessary credits, the same exact day when my dad told me my great-grandma was a few steps from death,  I promised myself that no matter what I will always put myself before others. The promise I haven't broken is why I m still here today, thanks to that promise I am graduating with extra credits, I have a job, I take care for myself and have a business where I distribute help that I would've wished having for myself.
Do not ever put yourself down we will all pass through this at a point of our lives. It's a challenge that life has given us, every person is different, every person is unique, every person has a dream or goal they are trying to accomplish, and most importantly every person in history that has or had a beating heart inside them can feel the way your tone, actions, looks changes towards them.  They will never be a definition of normal or perfect because it means something different to each one of us and that when we get to decide who we are and who will we become .

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