Taking one last look at the horizon’s safety, I took a deep breath and felt the sun’s warmth upon my face. As my eyes gazed upon the open waters, my mind was reliving memories that caused me to come to my decision. I was leaving everything I knew, everything I loved, and everything that defined me as a person. I had to start over. With all the joy and love I had once felt, there was so much pain and sorrow that came along with it. I stepped closer to the edge of the cliff and felt the grass between my toes. A sense of peace washed over me as the sound of crashing waves rang through my ears. People say that home is where the heart is, but my heart no longer had a home. My little town no longer felt like my home. It was the place where I had fallen in love for the first time, but more recently the place where my heart had been broken. It was hard to think about it, but he was gone. A single tear ran down my cheek and my heart was breaking all over again. He had left me in a million pieces on the floor. As I fell, he walked out without a second glance. I was left alone in darkness. As hard as I tried, there was still a piece of him deep in my heart that could never be washed away even by the strongest current. Too long have I sat wallowing in my own grief, but not anymore. I wished the waters of the ocean would wash all the horrible and heartbreaking memories away, but then I would lose a piece of myself. I had not asked for this, but I can only play the cards that are dealt to me. The sun came up and I saw a glimpse of light. The brisk, refreshing wind was wiping away the mask that I had kept on for so long hiding what was truly underneath. I was breaking free. His hold on my heart would no longer exist. I would not forget. I would use this pain to seek a pure love. This broken heart was not the end of my love story, but the beginning. He was out there and one day I was going to find him. I was meant to be heartbroken and torn down because it was the only way that I see what was right in front of me. A life filled with pain, but also a life filled with love.
Broken but Not Shattered
May 11, 2017