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Death Has Its Heart in the Right Place


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Looking down the barrel of a gun is a strange feeling, but after staring into Death's dark face so many times, Jack had become accustomed to the tickles and prickles that run across your spine. It had become a familiar, a common, an ordinary feeling. He almost liked it, the sensation, of Death looming about, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. To him, it was intoxicating. It made his heart race, his blood pump and adrenaline run. It was like being in love for the first time, and the last. Yet every time that the Reaper swung his scythe on the mob boss, he always seemed to stop, never finishing the job. It was as though he, Death, took pleasure in seeing Jack sweat under his blade. They both enjoyed the mad thrill, but it seemed that this would be the last time they would saviour it.
Bang! The thunderous roar of the gun shattered the calm night. It was over.
'Here. You can keep it,' the assassin tossed the smoking gun onto Jack's cold lap.
A sinister smile cut the killer's face. Raising his chin proudly, as a young boy does after winning a prize, the mercenary turned around slowly, savouring his victory. Now all he had to do was collect his pay and live comfortably on some exotic island for the rest of his life, without worries, without problems, without necessities, without ' Bang! A second shot.
The assassin's knees broke under the pain. One moment he was savouring glory and the next he was savouring the bitter sweet taste of warm steel, the killer kiss of a bullet. On all fours, he lifted his trembling hand up to his chest: his shirt was soaked in blood that was spewing out on both sides of his trunk. He was cold, weak, in pain. Frozen sweat poured down his face as his insides burnt in anguish.
Writhing on the floor with no strength at all, he turned around to see who the shooter was. Behind him, sitting in the same leather-cushion seat he had been sitting when the assassin came in, Jack sat. The only difference was that now his right arm was outstretched with his fingers curled around the gun. His eyelids were heavy upon his red eyes, but he still maintained them wide open.
'No ' Impossible ' I shot you ' I shot you in the heart.'
Jack licked his lips and explained slowly, enjoying every word, 'I am dextrocardi-ac.'




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TheFutureAwaits said...
Oct. 23, 2011 at 12:40 pm:
I was captivated by your first sentence, "Looking down the barrel of a gun". Amazing!
 
Andy B. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 9:43 am :
Glad you enjoyed it! Cheers!
 
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Anonymous_7 said...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 11:18 pm:
I enjoyed reading this! It was really intresting and I liked how you wrote Death to seem like an actual physical form. The ending was not to be expected ;) You did very good and should continue to do your best. Keep it up!  Also, Would you care to comment/rate my work? Thanks!
 
Andy B. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 9:42 am :
Thanks! I will be sure to check out your works too!
 
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Sunshineintherain said...
Oct. 13, 2011 at 4:53 pm:
I really liked this, it was random but in a good way and interesting. Keep writing!
 
Andy B. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 9:39 am :
Thanks! I sure will!
 
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JacindaP said...
Oct. 10, 2011 at 11:53 pm:
The suspence was great. Very nice conclusion and nice body paragraphs. Great job.
 
Andy B. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 9:39 am :
Thanks for the comment!
 
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kelseyp96 said...
Oct. 8, 2011 at 2:15 pm:
very intense but maybe some more development
 
Andy B. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 9:38 am :
It was written as an exercise in class, trying to make it as short as possible, so there wasn't meant to be much character development. Thanks for the feedback!
 
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peacerocks said...
Oct. 7, 2011 at 10:25 am:

This story is amazing! It leaves you in suspence and wanting more! I like how it is only a little part of the story it leaves you wondering.......

Reply if you think this story is good!

 
Cloudyday92 replied...
Nov. 16, 2011 at 2:50 am :
Yay it was good!
 
Andy B. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 9:36 am :
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed.
 
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alleykat15This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 2, 2011 at 7:01 am:
GAH!!! I LOVE THIS!! It's amazing and I actually like how it's just a segment of a story, it leaves you wondering.
 
Andy B. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 9:34 am :
Thanks! I'm happy you liked it!
 
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sberning said...
Sept. 28, 2011 at 1:46 pm:
i think you need to give more info on jack.
 
Andy B. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 9:27 am :
It was written in an English class, as an exercise to write an extremely short piece, so I did not develop the characters at all. It would probably be interesting to expand it at some point. Thanks for the feedback!
 
sberning replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 9:50 am :
Thats good to know that it was meant to be short. It makes more sense now. Keep up the good work
 
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Destinisi said...
Sept. 23, 2011 at 9:02 pm:
It was okay, you led us up to a big scene but left out details after Jack was shot. The intro was intriguing though.
 
Andy B. replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 9:25 am :
Thanks for the comment!
 
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amchaucer said...
Sept. 15, 2011 at 9:55 am:
This was amazing. I loved how you used very descriptive words. Keep up the GREAT writting!!
 
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