Overslept, Coffee Chauffeur

February 14, 2017
By Anonymous

It was a cold, Monday morning. The air outside must've been cold, since there was frost over the window. The sky was gray, and yesterday I had heard on TV that rain was to come soon. I looked over at my alarm clock. It read "6:30," which gave me another 30 minutes before I had to get up. I went back under the blanket to sleep.
Thirty minutes had passed before my alarm went off, and when it did, I hit the "snooze" button. When I finally did wake up, it was well passed 7:00. In fact it was 8:00, which is the time I'm supposed to get to work, so this turn of events was rather unfortunate. I hurried out of bed, nearly tripping over my blanket in the process. I got dressed, and by the time I left, it was 8:35.
Oh boy.
My boss hated oversleeping as an excuse, and he undoubtedly also hated it when it was done. So I was fairly certain that telling him "I overslept," would cost me my job, which was not what I had in mind for today.
I then realized that I was going to have to tell him a story to get out of it.
Why a story, you might ask. Well, my boss loves stories, and if I managed to pull a good one off, then he might let me off on the whole thing, or maybe I could make it seem as if I'd never overslept. Soon enough, I had arrived at my office. I had barely begun to walk into the door when suddenly my manager walked around the corner.
"So now you show up, huh?" He asked.
"Yes, sir." I replied hastily.
"Care to tell me WHY?"
"No, sir."
"Don't get smart with me, just give me the explanation."

Well, here was my moment of somewhat-truth. It was either probably getting fired, or telling a story.

"Well, you see sir... this morning, I ran into a little bit of a problem. I didn't have my coffee, so I wasn't completely awake yet."
"Is that it? You'd better have more than that if you want to keep your job!"

Yeah, I now knew for certain that my job was on the line.

"Well, my coffee wasn't there, just like I said before! But it was because an.. uh, a thief took it! I had to chase that sneaky rascal down 3 blocks. Here. Listen to this. So as I was chasing him, he took the not-so-kind liberty of throwing rocks and anything else he could find at me. And he was fast too! He ran at maybe twice the speed of our fastest runner, and all the while, my poor coffee was in his hand. What could I do when he started to lose me? Well, I managed to startle him by throwing a rock at him, and that made him slow down. You have to just imagine his reaction when I almost caught up to him, he was so shocked, he almost didn't even bother to continue running!"
At this point, I could see my boss' reaction, and luckily, he seemed preoccupied in imagining what I "went through." I was pretty sure this was working successfully. Maybe I might even get to keep my job!

"Anyways," I continued, "He did start to run again, but this time, i started yelling at him, and he became extremely scared or something, because his facial expression was just trembling, if that makes sense. But that didn't stop him from running anyways. He tried to lose me in this alley, but he tripped on something, and he flew, and guess what the crazy part was!? He dropped my coffee, but it landed so perfectly that it was completely unaffected. Every single drop was still in there, and it was all still clean and good to drink!"

I finished off my story, and then waited for my boss' reaction. My story was pretty far-fetched and to me, pretty hard to believe as well, but for my sake, I'd hope that my boss takes it.

My boss looked up at me. His facial expression remained unchanged.

"I'm astounded." He said. "I guess I'll let you go then. Now get in your office and start working before I change my mind!"

"Yes sir!" I said, secretly laughing on the inside about my plan's success.

I walked into into my office, and let me tell you, it felt so great not to be fired. I walked towards my desk and grabbed the chair when suddenly I tripped. I grabbed onto the ledge of the desk and pulled myself up, happy that I didn't just give myself an injury after I had pulled off the most brilliant scheme in all of my career. Unfortunately, when I looked down, I saw shattered glass and a liquid seeping into the floor, and at that moment, I prayed that it wasn't what I thought it was.
It couldn't be, but it had to be it.
I was shocked. My coffee sat there, continuing to seep into the floor while the glass shards looked up at me. All my life I had waited for my coffee, but now there it sat, soaking slowly into the rug, and just like that, my life was over, shattered into pieces like the broken glass.
"WHY COFFEE, WHY?" I softly shouted.
"Why.. Why did you do this to me? How could you do this to me? I thought we were friends!"

Thus, from that day on, I became known as the coffee chauffeur.

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