Never Got to Say Goodbye

I just got off the phone with my son. She was born today. A little girl who is now to be my sixth granddaughter. How lucky I am to have a new granddaughter. I am about to leave to go and meet her for the first time. I am beyond excited. Her little eyes looking up at mine, every single happy feeling enters my body. I can’t wait to hold her, and to tell her I love her for the first time. She will be one of the many lights in my life. I hope that she sees me as a strong and courageous person that she can look up to in times of need.
Yours Truly,
Margaret


December 10, 2007
Today my heart lights up, because she is now a big sister. She has been waiting for this moment forever. And so have I.  To see my granddaughter care for her sister, like I cared for mine, will be so sacred to me. Watching her learn how to care for someone so small will be an amazing experience for me. I will see her grow in her own way as she learns new life lessons. She will be a unique older sister, I can already tell. I wish her luck on this beautiful experience.
Yours Truly,
Margaret


June 16, 2013
God has blessed me. Watching my granddaughter dance is like watching flowers blossom. It is a new experience every time. I hope that I can come to many more of her performances in the future, but that may not be possible. My health gets worse every day. But I can’t let her see that. She looks up to me too much for me to let her see my weakness. I want her to be able to see me as the strong grandmother who she can come to anytime she needs a shoulder to cry on. I don’t want her to have to be my shoulder to cry on. I’m praying that my health improves soon, so I can see her dance for many more years.
           Yours Truly,
Margaret


June 6, 2016
Today my little granddaughter becomes not so little anymore. She is graduating grammar school today. I am so proud. I have been waiting for this moment for a long time. She will go on to do great things in life. I hope that I am able to see her progress in life in what she chooses to do. Every day I grow more and more sick, but I push through the pain. I am determined to see her grow. She has so much potential in life. She looks up to me with so much hope that I cannot ever let her down. My granddaughter will never see me break, because I cannot let her see her role model crumble. I do not want for her to have to feel pain. I hope that she can see me as someone without a weakness, someone she can look to for strength and support.
Yours Truly,
Margaret


August 8, 2016
How great it feels to be back in Long Beach Island. I have missed this place. I love to be here with family and friends, and to see the ocean and smell the salt air. I no longer have the strength to go to the beach anymore, so I watch the waves from the back deck. But that’s fine by me. As long as I get to see that crisp, blue water. I have a feeling that this may be my last time visiting Long Beach Island in the summertime. I haven’t been feeling well often. I lack the energy that I see in the rest of my family, and I long for it. Today my granddaughter had to help me stand up and move across the room so I could sit down for dinner. I hate for her to see me like this. It makes her sad, I see it in her eyes. I try to do things by myself, but I lack the strength I used to have. It upsets me, and I know it upsets her. I pray that I get to come back here next year, to see the ocean one more time. But that may not be the case.
Yours Truly,
Margaret


September 19, 2016
As she walks out of my house, I shed a tear. I fear that may have been the last time I ever will see her. It pains me to see her go. There is so much left for me to show her, so much left for her to show me. The final words she said to me were, “Bye Grand, see you soon!”, then she left a kiss on my cheek. I hate to hide my sickness from her, but if she knows how bad my condition is, she may not see me as a role model anymore. I want her to see the challenges that I have overcome, not the challenges that have overcome me. I want to see her again, but I may not be able to. I hope that I can see her one last time, before my sickness gets the best of me.
Yours Truly,
Margaret


November 19, 2016
I collapsed today. My son found me in my bathroom on the floor. I was taken in an ambulance to the hospital, where I am now. I need to see her. There is so much left for me to tell her, so much for her to learn. I want her to come and visit me, but I’m afraid my time is limited. It’s so hard for me to know that I have to say goodbye. I wish she did not have to see me like this. I know it must be hard for her. I know it is hard for me. To show the weak side of me, when she has always seen me as a strong role model. I pray that I get to see her before my time here may come to an end.
Yours Truly,
Margaret


November 21, 2016
I get weaker as every moment passes. I still have not seen her. I have so much that I want to say, but I cannot keep living with the pain. She has taught me so much in life, and I want to teach her more. I am her role model, the person she looks up to. I still want to be her role model, her support system. But my time has come. I will love her forever, and will always be with her in spirit. I am happy that I have left my granddaughter with so many life lessons. She will pass on my wisdom to her grandchildren one day. May she go on to do many great things in life, I will never leave her side. I hope she knows that I love her without end.
Forever and Always,
Margaret






Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback