A Sweet Surprise | Teen Ink

A Sweet Surprise

November 14, 2016
By Devstar2000 BRONZE, San Antonio, Texas
Devstar2000 BRONZE, San Antonio, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The air was cool and crisp as the children marched down the path to the mansion up on the hill. A light fog covered the grass like a blanket around the stickly pine trees and empty bushes. The moon, full and bright, cast shadowy figures along the path, creating a sensation of being watched. Suddenly, one of the shadowy figures darted into the tall, stringy grass, disappearing into the fog.
Three of the kids voted to turn back and leave the ominous building alone, but Jerry, who proudly pressed forward ahead of the others in his skeleton costume with his Jack-o-Lantern bucket, declared they had to end the night with the scariest place for trick-or-treating. “I’m going over there with or without you guys,” Jerry proclaimed as he dashed toward the mansion. Feeling inspired by his brave act, the other three kids followed him up the hill to the mansion.
The boards on the porch wheezed in pain from each step the children took as they lined up at the door. Jerry rang the doorbell, but they didn’t hear anything that would announce their presence. “Maybe it’s broken,” William suggested backing away from the door.
“If it is, we can knock,” Jerry said raising his fist to the door, but unable to knock as the door creaked open revealing an old man with an eye patch staring down at the children.
“What do you want?” the man asked as the children stood breathless on the porch.
“Trick-or-treat,” Jerry said holding up his bucket to the man. The others said and did the same, hoping to have the night over with quickly.
“I have some special treats for kids like you,” the man said grinning as he opened the door wider. “Come on in. They’re waiting for you just down the hall.”
“Awesome,” Jerry exclaimed and walked eagerly through the door. He then turned around and asked, “You guys coming?”
“I don't think we should go in,” William said tightly gripping his bucket of candy.
“Don't be such a baby,” Dylan said walking through the door. “You're gonna miss out on all the candy.”
“I’m not missing out on anything,” Amanda said and joined them past the door.
“You’re fine,” Jerry said sarcastically. “You can wait out here and keep the werewolves company.”
“On second thought, I think I'll stick with you guys,” William said quickly entering through the door.
The old man then closed the door, the loud bang making the kids jump. “The candy is this way,” he said leading the way down the hall and the kids followed.
The building was a maze of barren halls and doorways. Other than the blue, flowery wallpaper and the doors, the walls were barren; no paintings, trophies, windows, bookshelves, potted plants, or anything to indicate where they are at all. The kids were amazed that the old man could find his way so easily.
They eventually stopped at a door, which was the same as all the others, and the old man turned the knob. The door squeaked open revealing a golden bowl on a small table in the middle of the room filled with a variety of candy. “Go on in,” the man invited pointing inside. “The candy is waiting. Take as much as you like.”
The kids, their faces beaming with excitement, eagerly charged to the bowl and started loading their buckets with the candy. Jerry, though snatching as much candy as he could, was starting to feel a little suspicious. All the other houses they went to they were only allowed to take one. Why would this man let them take so much?
“Remember, the pumpkin is lit,” the man said maliciously and closed the door leaving the kids alone with the candy. All the kids looked back at the door surprised the man left.
“What was that about?” Dylan asked skeptically walking over to the door. Then, there was a blood curdling scream in the room, which the kids thought it was Amanda, but when they turned to the source, they found it was William, but for a good reason.
“The candy is alive,” William exclaimed and dropped his bucket, all of the candy scattered across the ground like a rainbow shattering onto the ground. The candy he got from the golden bowl now had legs and razor sharp teeth. There wasn't any candy in the golden bowl, but they were all in the kids’ buckets crawling out to meet them.
“Drop the buckets,” Jerry said as he threw his bucket across the room and the others did likewise. Jerry tried to turn the knob, but it wouldn't give way.
“Open the door,” Dylan shouted as he kicked at the candy that came toward them.
“It’s locked,” Jerry said pulling on the door.
“How are we going to get out?” William yelled as he hid behind Dylan and Amanda kicking away the monstrous candy. “We’re going to be eaten alive!”
Jerry examined the room, finding nothing but a small vent in the top left corner of the room. “Over there,” he exclaimed pointing to the vent. He ran over the candy to the small table, shoved the golden bowl off it, and took the table to the corner and climbed up on it. Because the vent didn’t have any screws in it, he was able to pull it out of the wall. “Follow me,” he said as he climbed through the vent.
He then dropped down into another room which looked identical from the other room, except it was empty; no table or candy trying to eat them. Amanda then dropped through from the vent, then Dylan. “Where’s William?” Jerry asked staring at the vent.
“The candy got him,” Amanda said, her face pale.
“We have to go back for him,” Jerry said to them in disbelief that the candy ate him.
“We don’t have time,” Dylan pressed. “They’re climbing up the wall and into the vent. We have to get out of here.” With despair hanging over his head, Jerry nodded and opened the door across the room and the remaining kids ran down the hall.
“Where do you think you’re going?” they heard the old man yell from behind them, but they continued running for their lives down the hall. Jerry, leading the way, had no idea where the exit was. The halls seemed to go on forever as they ran. Eventually they got tired and stopped to take a break, though it was quickly interrupted as they saw a hoard of candy bounding towards them.
The kids started running again, but Dylan tripped and was consumed by the hoard of candy that flooded over him like a wave from the ocean. There was much more candy than there was from the golden bowl in that one room. Jerry thought there must have been more candy in the other rooms.
Jerry and Amanda continued running to keep from being consumed by the candy. They then found the door they came in from down the hall, and they sprinted as fast as they could to get to it. Escape was nearly in their grasp, but the old man caught up to them, snatched Amanda by the arm, and threw her into the hoard of candy.
Jerry was next. The old man grabbed Jerry’s arm, but Jerry kicked him in the knee and the old man fell to the ground and let him go along with a loud howl. The candy then quickly surrounded the old man, having a hunger for more to eat. His cry for help was quickly muffled as the candy climbed up his body and consumed him. Jerry pulled the door open and ran down the hill and through the path of dead trees and bushes. Jerry, even though having lost all his friends and the hard earned candy from the night, was excited he now had a scary story to tell to his other friends. But after experiencing this event, he knows that not all treats are desirable.


The author's comments:

I was supposed to write a scary story for my english class. After finishing it, I felt proud of it and felt like sharing it to more people. 


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