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A Modest Proposal: A Satirical Solution to Cyberbullying
FOR PREVENTING THE ESCALATION AND LONG TERM PERPETUATION OF CYBERBULLYING
It is melancholy object to to the children of the Earth who cannot find a safe place anymore because cyberbullying can happen anywhere, anytime, as long as technology is around a person. Suicide rates will increase even more every year due to the awesome development of technology. It is easier now, more than ever, to cyberbully and get away with it. Thanks to technology producing companies such as apple and samsung, technology is extremely powerful. With more firewalls, and anonymity, it is easy as pie to cyberbully with no one knowing your true identity! Isn’t that amazing?
I think it is agreed by all parties that the life-threatening occurrence of cyber bullying is suicide. Someone has to bring the suicide rates down, especially ones due to cyber bullying. Whomever is to find the perfect solution must be rewarded, as they will be saving many lives each year.
But my intention is far from being confined to provide only for the betterment of young children and teenagers. My sensational, stupefying solution to cyber bullying will save millions of lives and prevent future cyber bullying. Hence, saving even more millions of lives. People will be so close and considerate with each other.
As to my own part, I have studied the proposals of other projectors, and concluded that they are not nearly as efficient as they claim to be. Some bogus previous solution was to have parents monitor and be aware of what children are doing on the Internet. This solution obviously hasn't worked. Some parents really just don't care, and with the recent changes in technology, kids can delete things in an instant. Think of how many lives would be still be thriving if people cared! My proposal will be making sure that young lives stay alive until they are old and die from alcohol poisoning or heart failure or something in general.
I will now present my own idea, which I hope will not be subject to any disagreement.
I humbly offer it to public consideration that humankind as a cohesive and cooperative unit, should track down every single cyber bullying using special tracking and hacking technology. The government will hire special technology geniuses like Steve Jobs. The geniuses will then create a technology to track online messages, statuses, and where people are at all times.
In this scenario the bullies can be tracked down and put under investigation to see if they have cyberbullied in the last six years. People will be implanted with trackers in their bodies, cars, all technological devices, and homes. There will be absolutely no way possible to delete things with this technology.
Of course this will lead into investigating if their cyber bullying has lead to any type of harm to anyone other than themselves. If they have then they will be put into prison to get justice for the victims of their ignorance and their actions of being a horrible human being.
These drastic and sudden changes might seem absolutely absurd to some people but they just need to trust that it will work. People might not have faith, some people en okay with what is happening behind the computer/phone screen. But this will save millions of lives and attain justice for the lives who have been taken do to the constant cyber bullying.
I can think of no valid objection that may be introduced to antagonize this proposal unless it is claimed that the tracking is deemed as an invasion of privacy, which can be debated. This problem will eventually be ignored because the positives drastically outweigh the “negatives”. Sure by tracking and extra monitoring people could see your personal things and the personal things could be leaked, but so many lives will still be thriving by age 60 because cyber bullying was erased from the world.
Again, no one should dare to suggest these notions to me until they have a small spark of hope that these actions may be implemented.
It is not that I do not respect the input of others on the subject of solutions to this topic, but simply that I have researched in heavy detail for around two weeks. I have worked extremely hard to find the perfect solution to cyber bullying. It is the only solution that will work because it is the only guaranteed solution that will bring justice to victims, save lives and stop cyber bullying completely. Justice will finally be given to Megan Meier and her family, Tyler Clementi and his family, and many other lives that have been taken and prevent more lives from being taken.