You would be mistaken if you thought I didn’t care. It took countless drafts to write this letter, the letter that I feel captures what I’ve been wanting to say to you since we first met. It’s because, deep down, I still love you-- we both know that.
When we took a break last summer, I thought it was the last, but there we were again, a mere two months later, acting like nothing had ever happened. From the start, our relationship was on and off. Because I had high expectations. Because you didn't give me a way out. Every time we “take time off,” I think that it’ll be better the next time. It never is.
Don’t get me wrong; there have been good times. Remember when we used to play the whole day? When you judged me based on the person I was and not based on the work I put into our relationship? But that was years ago. So much has changed since then.
I came into this relationship oblivious; you knew exactly how it was going to play out. Because of that, our relationship was never equal. I tried to please you, but you had the upper hand and I only sometimes made you happy.
I need someone who gives back what I put in, who sees value in me. Everything seemed like a test where I became less of a person every time I did something wrong. I know you care about me, but sometimes I question the value you see in me.
It’s not just about me. You’ve taken advantage of my friends, beaten them down physically and verbally until they become submissive shells. I want my friends to be happy again. I want to be happy again.
That’s why, my dearest, I think we should stop. For now, at least. When you are ready, we can talk, but I think for the time being, we should call it quits.