October 22, 2002



Dear Diary,


Being a surgeon has a lot of downfalls. People dying right before my eyes, and helpless families wondering why them? Why did their loved ones have to die? It is a demanding and emotional job. I wish I could save everyone who came into our hospital. People come up and ask me everyday how can I see people die and I live with it and be ok? I tell them the outside shows a different emotion than inside. I mean yes I'm ok but it hurts to see someone die you just knew a few hours ago. I try not to get emotionally attached to my patients. Being attached effects your life and being a surgeon. It could even affect your home life, I have experienced that before. Just make sure if you want to be a surgeon your all business when you walk through those doors. It's very hard to sit and tell a crying mother her son just died of brain cancer because we couldn't get the tumor with a straight face. It's hard you can never get use to it. When you tell someone that their loved one made it through it is unbelievable feeling. To see them walk out when they were just laying on a table about to die it is incredible. My beeper is going off I hope when I write to you the next time I have a incredible feeling story to tell you. I'm going to save a life, something not a lot of people can say. I am one proud person to say it.