It can Change your Mind

February 25, 2009
By
The room is silent; the lights are out, as we await the bedtime story.

Once upon a time, in a far away land, lived a princess who was garrulous like her pet gorilla. She desired nothing more than to be a normal contemptuous teenager. No, this isn't a 'we all live happily ever after' story like the insipid ones you find on the shelves of a drama queen's bedroom. This is a tale inspired by a young dork who managed to use grandiloquent language while creating circumlocution, a task that any normal teenager would find quite difficult. The story begins with the princess, who was named Eloquence because when she spoke at student council meetings and royal balls, all the words that flew from her mouth influenced all that heard her. Eloquence was the most popular teen, of both girls and boys, at school. She owned all the funky new designer clothes and was known for wearing the most unique shoes. But that wasn't enough for Eloquence. She didn't want to worry about speaking in a bombastic way; instead she wanted to ramble on and on about nothing like her good friend Rant. Rant was known for raving on about everything in life that didn't matter, like the color of the suit Zac Efron wore to the Oscars or about the dress Ashley Tisdale wore to her high school prom. She wanted to be able to prattle about the new girl's hair without her every word being idolized. She wanted to change the way people saw her from, orator to virtuoso, and become the next Selena Gomez. She started speaking with colloquial expressions like 'what's up babe' and started a new trend where the person speaking would digress so that only a few points would actually be made in thirty minutes of talking. Little did she know her luck was evanescent, just like snow on a warm summer day. College was just around the corner and Eloquence's parents were getting worried that their little angel who used to be a role model was becoming a devil who wasn't going to pass the SAT, the last exam before admissions were received by the applicants. To put a stop to the new trend where a person would digress of the main topic and start talking about some other subject, they pulled their little angel from school and got her a private tutor. Since they were royalty, Eloquence couldn't do anything to change the unfair decision of her parents, the king and queen. The weeks slowly passed, and finally the dreaded SAT rounded the corner. Eloquence came out of the testing room with a smile on her face, as she knew she would be going to her top choice, University of Fashionista, and be able to see her best friend, Rant, who would also be attending that spring. She begged her parents to allow her to go back to her school to see her friends. They said she could go back to visit if she returned to being a loquacious teenager who spoke in a bombastic way. The King and Queen didn't want to seem like the parents who had all the money in the world that couldn't raise a child to be a respectful young lady. And this happily voluble family lived garrulously ever after.





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