Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Vulnerable

By
A shiver took over my spine as I noticed her gaze on me. I gave her a suggestive look and she smiled, pulling her blanket out from under her and putting it over the top of both of us. I scooted a little closer than I was before and without hesitation she put my arms around her waist and I pulled her closer to me. She placed her head on my chest delicately and the smile that was on my face couldn’t get much bigger.

“Nick. Tell me your deepest, darkest secret.” She whispered from below me and I thought for a moment. “You first.”
She sat up and whined, “No fair! I asked you first!”
“Fine, fine.” I kissed the top of her head as she put it back where it was and thought.

I sighed and went straight to it. I could tell her anything, I loved her with every fiber of my being and I wanted it to stay that way forever. “I’m afraid of how much I love you.” I whispered. I was completely serious but I could tell she thought I was being cheesy. “Seriously Nick, what is it?” She giggled and I smiled, “I’m serious. That’s my secret. You terrify me. I want nothing but you, but once you get too close I want you to stop. But when I say I want you to stop, I’m lying. That makes no sense, I know, but to me, it’s completely accurate. You make my main passion in life… you. You have no idea how much that scares me.”

A smile shone across her face and instead of saying anything she expressed anything that she possibly could through a single action. Her lips against mine fit better than anyone could ever understand. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend and think you know what I’m talking about, you don’t. You have no freaking idea what I mean unless you have something more than a boyfriend or girlfriend. If you really have the love of your life with you, then you know what I mean.

Our kiss was abruptly ended by both of us coming up for air. I could tell she wanted to go back in for more just as much as I did, but I was too busy staring right into her eyes. Our gaze was held for minutes at a time as we were both still breathing heavily. Her hand slowly made its way to my cheek and she held half of my face in her hand. Her fingertips were shaking and I could tell that she was just as scared as I was.

There had always been this assurance in her eyes. It was like she knew that she could protect herself. I didn’t know if she was trying to tell me that or if our love was just so deep that I could read her thoughts just by holding our gaze this long. She had always been the stubborn type; the type that thinks that they can handle it alone. But for the first time, lying on her living room floor, I could see fear. She thought she could handle it, but knew she couldn’t. Not without me. And I couldn’t handle it without her.

I kissed her cheek softly, but with even more passion than our last kiss had and she smiled. That smile made my blurry life completely clear. I don’t know how, but it really doesn’t matter. “I think I was born to tell you that I love you.” She whispered, and I smiled, “Then why have we never said it to each other?”
“Because we already knew. Who needs words when it’s already clearly expressed?”

I smiled and she leaned in quickly, I knew that if I pulled away she would kill me and I smiled even as the kiss began, I put my hand on the nape of her neck to give us more stability and gained some control. I could feel my knees go weak and felt as if I was a handicapped person who had never even known what life in his legs was like. She just had this power over me that couldn’t be stopped by any kind of force.

She licked my bottom lip and I smiled as I let our tongues go at it. She kissed harder and harder until I pulled away and chuckled at the way her eyes were still closed and her mouth open. She opened them and I smiled, “I’m not going anywhere, love.” I knew she loved it when I called her that. But instead of a smile like I’d hoped for I got a frown, “You better not…” she whispered and in those once confident eyes I saw utter fear behind the brown in them.

“I promise you, I’ll be anyone or anything you could possibly need no matter what it is, or how long from now it is. That is my promise to you.”

We froze. In that moment I felt more love, passion, faith, and sincerity than any other moment I’ve ever had in my life. Her eyes were glazed over with tears, and to be completely honest, mine were too. “I love you Caitlin.” A tear fell down not only my face but hers as she brought her lips to mine, speaking with our lips simply touching, “I love you Nicholas.”

And in that moment, I knew I wasn’t the only one who was vulnerable.





Join the Discussion

This article has 1 comment. Post your own now!

SallySunshine said...
Mar. 20, 2009 at 6:04 am
Amazing workmanship. Keep going strong and you will turn out as an amazing writer.
 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback