Sparrow This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

September 19, 2008
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Every morning I look out at the streets but I don’t watch the cars. I watch the people – the fat man who sells hot dogs on the corner, the newspaper lady wearing the neon orange vest. Sometimes a kid rides by on a bicycle. Other times, the elderly woman who lives one floor down will put a leash on her German shepherd and then will be dragged two blocks before disappearing out of sight around the corner. They all do that, at some time or another.

I sit still for so long that a bird – a little sparrow with twitchy eyes – lands on the sill. Its feet shuffle back and forth, back and forth, until it is level with me. I am sitting straight, but I am small, so my chin is even with the sparrow’s beak.

“Hello there,” I say. I imagine the vibration of my voice has scared the tiny creature as it flies off. My eyes return to the street where the traffic light has changed in accordance with the rising sun and drifting river of commuters.

A long time ago, a girl was killed on that corner. I remember the day because it was my birthday, the twenty-second. Double twos.

She wore her hair in a braid, and jeans and a red shirt like the kind that can be found in the thrift shop on 53rd Street. Her skin was brown from time spent in the Californian sun, and I remember thinking, This is a long way from California. The worst part is that she didn’t know what people were like here. She’d seen gangs and once even lived in a neighborhood where gunfire was a constant concern. She’d been to funerals; the funeral of her sister, specifically. She was no stranger to death, and yet she didn’t understand!

I am not seeing the street any longer. The glass reflects the glare of the light, blinding me. In that glare I see the yellow taxi swerve to the left. I see the young businesswoman on the sidewalk, talking distractedly as she crosses the street. The light is green! Don’t walk! Please, don’t walk.

I see the green car. The man inside is a drunk because his girlfriend cheats on him and every Friday he goes to the Puss ’n Boots to get back at her. Her mother is dying. Her mother dies of cancer even as he flirts with the redhead in the silk camisole. Even as he pretends to have an excuse.

The taxi screeches to a halt just inches from the businesswoman’s shiny black shoes. She glares at the driver, a sweaty gray man who has been in the business 25 years and has never run anyone down. Just three dogs and a cat.

She is so distracted that the green car is on her before anyone who is not watching can blink. Thump!

Time does not freeze. Times moves just fine, but perception is off because the businesswoman is not lying on the asphalt, sprawled out in pain. She is panting on the sidewalk, cell phone crushed beneath the tires. Her neatly coifed hair is askew, eyes wild and disbelieving as they take in the young girl with brown skin. The girl is so still, her face pale – she is not Indian after all.

I sigh into the window. It is autumn now, and the air has adopted that crisp snap that warns of the coming freeze. From now on, every night will be terribly cold, especially for those who sleep alone, as the businesswoman does. I can only hope that she is changed, but in the end the only thing that I can do is wonder.

The sparrow is back, pecking away at a black bug racing across the window. Both predator and prey are blocking my view, so I can only see the first few letters of the hot dog stand and a blur of orange that is the newspaper lady.

“I’m sorry,” I tell the bird through the window. It pretends not to hear. “But I don’t have any food for you. You’ll have to tough it out on your own. Do you hear?” The beetle is crunched, and with a flurry of wings, the bird disappears.

The glass is a mirror and a window at the same time. I can see the fat man and the elderly lady now, but I can’t see them as I used to. They are not people anymore; I don’t know what they are. Souls, perhaps?

The door creaks open so fast, with only a jingling of keys for warning. I spring out of my chair, and turn sharply to face my new roommates.

They are a young couple toting a bulky baby carrier. Haggard faces, black ovals beneath weary eyes. They look Dutch. I’ve never met anyone from … where are the Dutch from, anyway?

They set down the carrier, and the baby, who has been making an abominable fuss, quiets instantly. Surprised, the couple look dubiously down and then exchange long glances.

“I guess Susan likes it here,” the mother says.

The father rubs his eyes. “Thank God.”

But I know differently. The baby is staring at me. I stand over her and touch my pale fingers to her forehead. She laughs and reaches up, trying to catch my hand, but her chubby little fingers pass through mine. Again and again, she tries, until her worried parents pick her from the carrier like a ripe apple. The mother retrieves the ingredients for the formula while the father rocks her, singing the same lullaby my father sang me once, a long time ago.

I am too busy for the street. My roommates are always moving, doing something. If it’s not the parents, it’s the child, who has taken a liking to passing her hands through my stomach and face as if I am some sort of will-o-wisp. The couple is somewhat bewildered but pleased with the sudden contentedness that radiates from the baby.

“My name was Francis,” I tell her at night. She watches me with huge brown eyes as I recite the story of my life, as I try to make her understand what I see when I look out the window. I wonder, as I do with the businesswoman, if she will remember me when she is older. But for now, all I can do is rub my fingers across her forehead and whisper stories of sparrows and heroes.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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This article has 164 comments. Post your own now!

skyblue95 said...
Oct. 1, 2010 at 5:10 pm
wow... this was an incredible story. i really do wish i could write like this. i guess i can only hope to get as good as u with practice. could u check out some of my stuff? especially the one called Henningtom. it's a novella im writing in parts. thanks and keep writing!
awesomeaugust This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 1, 2010 at 5:04 pm
I read the last word of this article, scrolled up and read it again. I think with a really really good story the reader should want to do that. The twist (or is it that? Realization, I guess) was a great one, not a stretch liek most, and subtle. I had to read it a second time to understand everything. Still, though, I'm sitting here pondering what I just read. I'm going to go decorate for Halloween, but something tells me I'll be comign back to this story. Great job!
Odyesseus said...
Oct. 1, 2010 at 1:51 pm


I don't get it

OriginalCarbonation replied...
Dec. 6, 2010 at 5:48 pm

i believe i have this right when i say:

the person looking out the window was the girl who got hit, she's a ghost/spirit now. notice how the baby cant touch her, and how she knows so much about the girl who got hit, and how she says the other people are "souls" now - because that is all she is - she sees that is what they always were. also, the "roomates" are cause thats where she "lives", but as a ghost she doesnt really. so those are the people who own or rent the rooms.

hopef... (more »)

mimirocks124 said...
Sept. 9, 2010 at 2:02 pm
fantastic !!!!! i love it ! it blew me away i wish i could write like this! please check out my stuff
Shminkanator5000 said...
Aug. 18, 2010 at 8:50 pm
i LOVED this! absolutely brilliant! Please check out my work, I'll be sure to check out your other work!
Blue4 said...
Aug. 18, 2010 at 5:04 pm
This is one of my favorite stories on Teen Ink! Amazing job!

By the way, can whoever sees this check out some of my stories, rate, and critisize? I'd appreciate it.

pandafyre This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 18, 2010 at 2:10 pm
And I can't tell you how much I appreciate comments. It doesn't matter if they are repetitive, so long as they are meant. Thanks :)
i_sold_my_soul_to_books said...
Aug. 18, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Okay everything I've attempted to write sounds dried out and fake. I can't tell you how much I really loved this story. See. Thank you for writing this.
Simply_Me said...
Aug. 18, 2010 at 12:22 pm
this is so cool!!! sad, but very moving!! keep writing :)
HIPPIEatHEART_writerINsoul This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 7:20 pm

I loved the ending; not expected at all (not by me, anyway).

Extremely well done!!!

WeAreAllWasted said...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 3:45 pm
this is the thrid time i think ive commented on this and its amazing... still and ivve read it like a bigillion times
Giovani said...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 9:03 am
I liked when Twilight Zone used plotlines like this (don't let anyone tell you that The Sixth Sense or anything like that had the main character be a ghost), but by this point in time it's joined the ranks of cliched twists, however I am impressed that despite all of the similar stories out there whether in book, movie, or comic form, this story is crafted better than most of them. 
Giovani replied...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 9:05 am
be a ghost first not just be a ghost, I meant to say be a ghost first 
pandafyre This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 10:28 pm
I'll have to start watching the Twilight Zone.
diana replied...
Dec. 6, 2010 at 9:48 pm
The twilight zone is a good show. i wish i could watch it.
necnec said...
Jun. 13, 2010 at 5:51 pm

This was absolutely amazing!

It is so carefully crafted that you are almost confused until everything pulls together and you learn the secret of the protagonist. A beautiful piece of work!

Lanier42 replied...
Jul. 5, 2010 at 7:27 pm
its good, but unlike necnec, i am still confused. was francis the girl in the red?
necnec replied...
Jul. 15, 2010 at 10:59 am
Yes the narrator is the girl that got hit by the car and she is telling the story as a ghost. I'm pretty sure thats it
Lanier42 replied...
Jul. 15, 2010 at 11:34 am
ohhhhhhhh. ok. thats kind of what i thought...thanks :)
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