The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.


The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.


on May. 1 2010 at 2:57 pm
Alice_in_Wonderland GOLD, San Clemente, California
16 articles 0 photos 620 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I could give up, I could stay stuck, or I could move on, So I put one foot front of the other, No no no nothing’s gonna break my stride, “ –David Archuleta (The Other Side of Down)

It was definetely different I'll tell you that much... It was good don't get me wrong .I liked it but it was just  different from what I'm used to reading... but good job.

on May. 1 2010 at 12:18 pm
NeverFallTooHard PLATINUM, Hartford, Wisconsin
24 articles 5 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.~ Rumi
Realisim, in painting, is what one wants to see, not what they really see. ~ Janet Fish

Oh my God.. You are an ah-mazing person. I don't wear make-up unless I'm going out somewhere where there are people I want to impress, like eminimes- I'll show them i'm not some wierd freak... but I am, can't help but enjoy the fact...

on May. 1 2010 at 10:03 am
krazykathleen BRONZE, Edwardsville, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"7/5 of all people do not understand fractions." -Unknown

AMAZING!! You should publish this!!!

MusIcxjUnkie said...
on May. 1 2010 at 9:10 am
I completely loved it. I hadn't found a single person who could relate to a breakup until I read this. And you hit it perfectly. You're a great writer, and this should definitely be published somewhere.

on May. 1 2010 at 8:35 am
Demon_of_Truth, Warrenton, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm not a geek, I prefer the term 'intellectual bad-a**"

Wow, that was just . . . wow. You have incedible talent and i think you captured the basic feelings of every girl that doesn't spen half an hour slatherin on make up every morning. Way to go!

Niknsspam said...
on May. 1 2010 at 3:04 am
Niknsspam, Raleigh, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments
I know this is random, but DEMON:DAIMEN, is that you're original writing? It's wonderful!

amaranth178 said...
on Apr. 15 2010 at 2:44 pm
amaranth178, Washington, District Of Columbia
0 articles 0 photos 118 comments
I agree completely with Courtney--good job!

on Apr. 9 2010 at 11:07 pm
PoetLaureate07 PLATINUM, Aberdeen, Mississippi
32 articles 0 photos 246 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing..

I LOVED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TALK ABOUT AMAZING.... PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL DEFINITELY CHECK OUT SOME MORE OF YOUR STUFF!!!!!!!!!!! if u cud check out a little of mine, which isn't nearly as great as yours, but i think you might like it.... thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

on Apr. 9 2010 at 9:32 pm
Avidreaderandwriter GOLD, Dutch Harbor, Alaska
13 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
People are like quicksand, regular at first, tricky next, the end, you sink. -Annoymous

I love this. Please continue!! I almost feel as if you were describing me!!

Thanks!!


on Apr. 9 2010 at 6:43 pm
dancingdaisies GOLD, Westborough, Massachusetts
19 articles 24 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
" you can't get what you want until you know what you want"-Joe Jackson
"Dancing is like dreaming with your feet!"-Contanze
"Why are you talking about all of these thing you're getting & nothing about what you already have?"~MMEE!!:)

its pure beautiful. i cried a little.  it's too true.

they all try too hard with there shorts that could pass for underwear

u say things to cover your true reasons for despare

we deserve better than what they have


on Apr. 9 2010 at 6:31 pm
emo_nerd951 BRONZE, Clover, South Carolina
3 articles 5 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." -unknown

This is sooo true.  I understand the feeling.  This is an amazing piece of writing. keep going!!!!!

on Apr. 9 2010 at 6:21 pm
COURTneyyy27 SILVER, Boise, Idaho
5 articles 6 photos 25 comments
This is so freakin sweet! I know almost every single girl has felt like this at sometime in their life...well, besides the fake ones. You are fabulous, girl, and need to keep writing...OUT of your journal! Who knows where you can go with this type of talent.

on Apr. 9 2010 at 3:03 pm
PurpleFeather BRONZE, Canton, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The pen is mightier than the sword." - Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Hahaha! Sooo funny! Girl, i nearly fell off my swivel chair. Your writing style is excellent. So fresh and funny. I mean, most other people would make that sound really boring (since i mean, everyone thinks about these things all the time, right? It ain't new news). But you made it sound interesting. You say you only write like this in your journal? Girl, you need to write like this all the time, honey.

on Apr. 9 2010 at 1:22 pm
sunsetclimber BRONZE, Portage, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments
wow.  really good!

on Apr. 9 2010 at 11:01 am
meganleigh122 GOLD, Greeneville, Tennessee
13 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain."

this is amazing!!!! keep writing, you are really good!!!

fearless13 said...
on Apr. 9 2010 at 8:45 am
This is amazing. Your writing style is brilliant, dripping with sarcasm yet filled with wit and insight. love it!

on Apr. 9 2010 at 2:23 am
mcpanicfanic SILVER, Cincinnati, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 65 comments
Mind.Blowing.

on Mar. 18 2010 at 10:03 pm
sidneynicole BRONZE, McKinney, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life knock you down to your knees, just know you are in a perfect postition to pray."

wow i liked this alot it was like... well idk it was jusss so foreal you knw srry if i'm not making any sense

on Mar. 18 2010 at 8:06 pm
starlight26 GOLD, Miramar, Florida
11 articles 7 photos 175 comments

Favorite Quote:
*life isnt about pretending to be something you're not. It about being who you are and finding someone
who loves every bit of it."

"Life's tradegy is that we get old too soon and wise too late"

Mind blowing poem !!! You said the words that probably every single girl..(except the naturally fake pretty girls) are thinkin every day. You took the words right out of my mouth and wrote them down so perfectly!!! Beautiful article!!! keep writing girl!! U r beautiful for sure.

Phooh BRONZE said...
on Mar. 18 2010 at 7:46 pm
Phooh BRONZE, Bryant, Arkansas
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
You only live once, if your do it right once is enough!

i love this. We put too much of a price on beauty. what is beauty for me might not be the same for you. this is a piece that goes through every girls mind from one time to another. thank you for posting this! Keep writing!!


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