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The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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AmbRawr This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 23, 2010 at 5:04 pm:
I love this! ...I know exacly what you mean, except my mascara is water proof =[ <3 lol. And i agree that you should expand it!
 
AmbRawr This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 23, 2010 at 5:11 pm :

oopsie! i just read you're comment about it being part of your journal... you write like me. lol.

ps. this gave me ideas. inspiration. I've had such a block =[ but yay! =]

 
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selin06 said...
May 23, 2010 at 3:00 pm:
this is GREAT! i totally encourage you to add more and expand this story! 
 
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JanaQueen This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 23, 2010 at 1:06 pm:
LOVE IT! I can imagine it being the opening of a book or something. It makes me want to know the whole story.
 
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sunnyhunny This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 23, 2010 at 12:58 pm:
I love this!  It's so unique.
 
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Showchoir2012 said...
May 23, 2010 at 11:43 am:
dude this is so true! omg its like ur living my life! urg! curse any guy thats ever broken a girls heart with 'lets just be friends' and dumps her over text! CURSE YOU!
 
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pixie5 said...
May 23, 2010 at 10:25 am:
Wow! this is really good it sounds like it came from the heart:)  keep writing.
 
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Mikey123orSallySun said...
May 23, 2010 at 9:47 am:
this is soooooooooo  good!!!! OMG i loved it! keep up the great work! I love the writing style, it's so unique! And I don't say that because it's awkward it's sooo good! You thunk out of the box, girl!! great job!
 
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Egyptiangirl13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 23, 2010 at 8:26 am:
wow this is amazing!!!! i love it-so different but just great!!!
 
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chrisgirl13 said...
May 23, 2010 at 2:33 am:

This is different. It sounds more real than anything I've ever read. I can relate to this.

 

 
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chaelo said...
May 20, 2010 at 10:32 pm:
I actually laughed in class!
Well written and very well thought out, the character is easy to sympathize with and has spunk.
 
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charzard said...
May 20, 2010 at 12:02 pm:
very different style! i like it though! it's got a bit of humor and thats really intriguing! please keep writing!
 
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woody97 said...
May 17, 2010 at 6:58 pm:
i loved it but a little long but i loved it
 
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MissTwizzla said...
May 3, 2010 at 5:10 pm:
Hilarious! I think my favorite line is "Since when is "pretty" about whale blubber and cocoa butter?" The style is unique and refreshing, great job! 
 
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lime921 said...
May 1, 2010 at 8:54 pm:

ur writing is different. keep writing!

i liked the last line because sometimes i want to do that to other people myself. good work capturing the feeling.

 
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CassieSherman14 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 1, 2010 at 2:57 pm:
It was definetely different I'll tell you that much... It was good don't get me wrong .I liked it but it was just  different from what I'm used to reading... but good job.
 
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krazykathleen said...
May 1, 2010 at 10:03 am:
AMAZING!! You should publish this!!!
 
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MusIcxjUnkie said...
May 1, 2010 at 9:10 am:
I completely loved it. I hadn't found a single person who could relate to a breakup until I read this. And you hit it perfectly. You're a great writer, and this should definitely be published somewhere.
 
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Demon_of_Truth said...
May 1, 2010 at 8:35 am:
Wow, that was just . . . wow. You have incedible talent and i think you captured the basic feelings of every girl that doesn't spen half an hour slatherin on make up every morning. Way to go!
 
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PoetLaureate07 said...
Apr. 9, 2010 at 11:07 pm:
I LOVED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TALK ABOUT AMAZING.... PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL DEFINITELY CHECK OUT SOME MORE OF YOUR STUFF!!!!!!!!!!! if u cud check out a little of mine, which isn't nearly as great as yours, but i think you might like it.... thanks!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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