Teddy: The Life Story of a Fluffy Bear

January 22, 2009
Hello everybody! I’m Teddy. Yep you guessed it I’m a teddy bear. Isn’t that great! No! Being a teddy bear sucks. All my life consists of is being hugged and squished to death, being left in strange places, and being smothered under a huge blanket at night. Oh, and you thought teddy bears were cool. It’s plain torture I tell you.
Little Johnny. He is my worst enemy. He’s a snotty little human child who acts like he owns me. Johnny is the one who is responsible for ruining my life. I don’t know why I stick around this dump. I could go live in the wild and be a real bear. Then I could hibernate without being disturbed every second of my dreadful life.
Ah hah! That’s it! I’m leaving this morbid dungeon of pain and torture. I, Teddy am going to be a real wild bear. Roar! Finally I will be free and live in my natural habitat.

So Teddy gathered his stuff and set off towards the door, went out of the house, and into his new habitat.
What the heck is this? Where are all the woods and wild life. Hey brothers were are you? Oh no, it can’t be. There are humans everywhere! Quick! Retreat back to the house. Those dirty human scum balls must have killed all the other bears. I will avenge my kind!

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