Is falling intended to feel like this? The rush of air against my face, as I head down towards my death is supposed to feel this good? A flashback brought me back to the thoughts of my children. The smile on their faces as they ran towards me and gave me hugs when I walked through the door. Even though those smiles would never be on their small faces again, they were still implanted in my mind. In the pupils of my eyes their faces were engraved with memories of jubilation; my wife on our wedding day, the day my first baby girl was born. Displays of my burnt down house flew by me as I was still floating down to my death. I should have been home that day. Maybe I could have saved them from their passing, my own nightmare. They now lay underground with only pieces of stone to represent them. I have no reason to live, that’s why I’m letting myself join them wherever they are. Flashes of my family filled my brain and a sudden feeling of regret passed through my mind. I then thought to myself, “What am I doing?”
Is This the Way to Go?
January 18, 2009