Shadow

“I love him,” I sighed, “that’s why.”

It’s really not that hard. The first time I did it, it only took me fifty-seven minutes.

I remember the rusty sundial he put out in the garden to make sure it was noon. That was the best time to transfer over, you see.

I remember walking across the lawn, blades of wet grass poking in between our tiny toes. It was the dandelion petals who kindly escorted us to the Gnome.

He took my hand- I don’t remember which one, and put it on the closed mouth of the Gnome. “Go ahead,” he urged, “Open it.”

So I pried the mouth open. And what I saw was…

His teeth, rotting with decay. His gums and his tongue, bearing the color of murky and aged red.

“Go on,” he said, patience obviously forced, “Go in.” I stared into the atrocious consumer. Excitement filled me up to the brim. It bounced off against my colon and rammed into my diaphragm. It shot off from my aorta and blocked every single vein and artery in my body.

So this is what you do.
1. Step in.

That’s it. Once you are completely inside the Gnome is when it eats you up. The only catch is you have to walk into it with or against your own will. That’s all.

So I stepped in and watched the walls close in on me. The space between my raw flesh and his red gums grew smaller and smaller…

And in an instant, all that was within sight was an intense glow. 

But…no, wait a minute. This raises a morbid question.

Is everything else bright because I have become a dim shadow? Or is everything really as dazzling as it seems?

I dare not guess. Who am I to freely declare my mere opinion and render others’ cognitive abilities? I dare not say. Who am I to desire a condition so deeply then doubt once in the process? I dare not. I dare not.

Today, I am able to follow him around. When he raises his right hand up to stroke her head, I raise mine to stroke that of her shadow. When he leans in to plant a kiss on her cheek, I lean in to do the same.

I disappear at night. And I no longer do things according to my own will. Heck, I no longer have a will.

This is what it has come down to.

I have become his shadow.