She reads L. L. Bean catalogs while drinking a tall glass of milk. Milk, milk, got milk does the body good, but darn, how much milk have you been drinkin'? L. L. Bean; she must be a hiker. I don't hike, but who cares. Mother did and made sure I got my exercise and drank my milk. Now I can see why. Her shiny blonde hair, pearl-white teeth and flawless skin. She looks like a model, an angel, the milk goddess. I ought to call Hood or Garelick Farms and tell them that I have found their next commercial star and when she films a commercial, I will tape it and watch it over and over again and drink 1% skim milk by the gallon until I build a farm with nothing but a small house and acres and acres of tall grass and hundreds of cows and drink milk for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And it would be just her, the milk goddess and me on the farm reading L. L. Bean catalogs, milking the cows, drinking it straight from the udder in the town of Milkington, Vermont, population: 2. And when we get old we will get up at quarter to four every morning and hop into our horse and wagon with hundreds of glass bottles of fresh milk in the back and deliver a bottle to every door step in our neighboring towns and finish just in time to make it to church on Sunday mornings but not before the day's first glass of 1% milk. 1
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.