Once upon a time, in a pastoral place, there presided a pepper picker. Peter Piper was the pepper picker's appellation, and Peter presided over the picking of perfect purple peppers at his place in the principality of Peabody. Peter Piper was a personage of potent power, as he had previously prevailed in possessing a prominent plurality of pesos.
Peter Piper was very pleased, to say the least. He promptly purchased plane passes for his spouse, Patricia, and his "dependent," Patrick. They planned to spend a perfect respite at Pago Pago. Soon, they packed pronto to prepare for the plane trip
The next day, Peter, Patricia, and Patrick packed into a public passenger-car and sped past parks, palaces, pastures, and places where perfect purple plump pickled pecks of peppers were packed. Peter Piper was perturbed at the speed of the passenger-car, for he wanted to perceive all of the purple pepper pastures. Peter Piper prized purple peppers. Still the passengers paced rapidly on, and soon the passenger-car parted Patricia, Patrick and Peter at the airport.
However, then the problems were produced. They spent a plurality of time probing for the plane passes. After probing precociously, Patricia pinched the passes from Patrick's pockets, where they had been placed in the first place. Next, the packs of prefect pickled peppers and potatoes disappeared in the package claim. Patrick, like all whippersnappers, became impatient. He began to pinch pennies, packages, and even a purple pepper before the pallid Patricia put a stop to his efforts. Finally, persistent peals of anger were expounded when due to pouring precipitation, the plane was postponed. The Pipers were peeved.
When Peter, Patricia and Patrick finally did press themselves into a plane to Pago Pago, they soon perceived that passengers were profuse, and sleep would not present the Pipers with a respite. Plus, Patrick was packed into a parsimonious, unprepared place, furthest from his parents. Patrick became persistently more impatient. He picked up a pack of peanuts, opened them, and proceeded to pitch peanuts perniciously.
For Peter and Patricia as well, the plane was no picnic. Placed in a plaid place, they implored the passengers to switch places, but the passengers perfidiously stayed put. It was shaping up to be particularly pitiful plane passage, with Patrick pitching peanuts and profuse passengers pushing the Pipers away from perfect peace.
Finally, the Pipers proceeded off of the packed pitiful plane and promenaded non-peacefully past package claim. Pago Pago appeared to be pristine, but from the experience of Peter, Patricia and Patrick Piper, practically all aspects are particularly unpalatable.
Pago Pago was perfect. The Pipers soon passed over their previous experiences and pressed on to a precious, perfect vacation. However, those things which posed pernicious problems on the plane passage pained poor Peter, Patricia, and Patrick Piper once more.
First, on the penultimate day of the trip, plenty of perfect pickled purple peppers disappeared from Peter's possession. The problems rocketed upward as Patricia's pepper porridge was too cold. Patrick purported that his pepper porridge was too hot, and Peter Piper's perfect pickled pecko-pepper porridge was way too hot.
The beach of Pago Pago produced yet more pecks of profane problems. Patrick and Peter parched under the unpalatial UV rays, and Patricia was pinched repeatedly by passing crabs. Finally, Peter, Patricia, and Peter were fed up. They would depart pronto to their pastoral pasture, and peacefully preside, pretty and perfect.
Following another pitiful plane passage back to Peabody (Patrick pitched peanuts in such plurality, that the pilot himself complained), the Pipers were pleased to be presiding again at their peaceful, pastoral, pristine pasture of perfect purple pickled peppers. Peter and the Pipers learned hat possessing pesos is no picnic. They also learned planes to Pago Pago are not palatable, nor is Pago Pago itself.
And The Moral: pesos, planes, and Pago Pago do not purport a pleasing peace. They are downright pitiful when placed contemporaneously. 1
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.