Dreams MAG

By Katryna S., San Pablo, CA

     I feel his hand on my shoulder. It is cold, bony, and scrapes against my skin. It doesn’t sting too badly. Pain doesn’t cause discomfort for me - it’s like a Popsicle - strong at first, but after awhile, it melts away. He tells me something, the man behind me. I don’t hear him at first, and that makes him angry. He grips my shoulder tighter.

Now there is pain, pain like grabbing a wire hanger that is left beside a fire, yet I ignore it. He knows I am here, I know I am here, but for some reason, I feel if I don’t acknowledge it. If I ignore what is happening, we will both remain suspended. The two of us will stay lost in this never-ending scene, and I will never die.

The knife enters me anyway.

I feel it; I’m not quite numb yet. I can feel it twist inside me, switching my lung with my heart. Then the world goes black.

I die every time.

I shut my eyes. It doesn’t matter if I sleep for five minutes or 10 hours.

“It’s like sucking your thumb; you’ll grow out of it,” my mother tells me over the phone the next day.

She’s told me that for 18 years. Now I’m ten days away from turning 20 and she still says the same thing. But nightmares are nothing like sucking your thumb. I don’t suck my thumb anymore.

***

It’s 2 a.m. My mouth is dry, and I cannot see because of the tears that blur my eyes. But that doesn’t bother me. Four days is not long to go without sleep. I’ve gone longer. People don’t understand, because they don’t feel their dreams. In mine, I am conscious of everything.

A man is standing in front of me, a doctor. He was called when I stopped responding to the pleas of my pencil-neck roommate. Apparently, he is discomforted by my 96-hour days.

“Having trouble falling asleep, Wesley?” the doctor asks.

“No,” I say.

Falling asleep is easy; too easy. Giving in is something that tempts me every minute. But I can’t do that, because I know that one day, I’m not going to be able to wake up.

He hands me a pill anyway, and tells me to take it. I know this doctor. His name is Ben or Bill or something. He’s come for years. I argue at first, but I know that I don’t have a choice. I swallow the pill dry. Before I know it, I’m back in again.

***

This time I’m underwater. I’m going to drown, I think. The thought relaxes me. The dreams where I drown aren’t all that bad, considering what experiences I could compare them with. But then the dream changes. I am still in water, but it tastes like soup. I look up to see a giant sitting above me.

It’s then I realize that I am going to be eaten alive.

I used to look away when I was about to die. I used to run, beg. Now I lie limply and watch. The giant lifts me up with his fork and bites down, taking off my right leg.

I don’t look away ... I’m past that. But I still scream.

***

I am in the car with my roommate now. We’re getting groceries, and since we’re in my car, I’m driving. I can tell he’s nervous, so I try to calm him.

“Darren ...,” I say.

“Dylan,” he corrects quickly.

I could have sworn his name was Darren. Part of me thinks he’s changed it just to f*** with me. I continue talking anyway.

“I’m not tired ...”

Darren, or Dylan, or whoever he is makes a sound.

“... and I know how to drive.”

Just then, a car honks at me loudly, as if he too wants to prove me incompetent. Apparently, this is too much for my night-light roommate.

“Pull over. Now,” he says.

“Fine,” I say roughly, and pull over. Right into the face of an oncoming truck.

***

Please, someone wake me up. Please. Please. Anyone, please.

I am balancing on the top of a pillar that is just large enough for one foot. Below me, there are hundreds of creatures with whips, chains, and spikes - they’re ready for me to fall. This death will be worth remembering.

Usually I don’t, but I can’t help but start crying this time. This dream has gone on too long. I’ve died five times. Usually, it only happens once or twice. For a moment, I wonder if I have died ... for real ... in the real world. The thought scares me. I always thought it would end at death. Then, around me, I hear familiar voices. They belong to my mother and the doctor.

“Would you like me to let him go?” The doctor asks sympathetically. “There is very little hope that he will come out of it.”

There is a pause and I hear my mom crying, and I allow myself to hope. I am in a coma ... I know it ... it must have happened because of the crash ... and if she chooses to pull the plug on me, I can escape this time. I’ve never been able to escape before.

Against my first instincts, I find myself wanting to die more than anything. If it happens now, in this way, I will never have to die again.

Please, I beg, and then I silence my thoughts so I can better hear her speak.

“No,” she says finally, “not just yet.” I hear the shuffling of tissue. “I want him to rest ... he could use it.” Then, her voice is gone, and all I can hear is the sound of the mob below me.

I lose my balance and fall.



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This article has 103 comments.


Chrissy_L GOLD said...
on Jun. 17 2009 at 12:19 am
Chrissy_L GOLD, Ramsey, New Jersey
13 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.

PHENOMENAL!

This piece sent chills up and down my body, the kind of chills you only get when you read something as deep and moving as this.

on Jun. 16 2009 at 7:57 pm
storyofmylife PLATINUM, Mt. Olive, Alabama
27 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
If life gives you lemons. Paint them green and pretend they're limes.

this was really good...

although i would say the ending was sort of bland...

but otherwise i liked it..

on Jun. 16 2009 at 4:59 pm
Brilliantbecca SILVER, Clayton, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A best friend is someone whom laughs three times at a joke; once when it's told, once when you explain it and five minutes later when they finally get it."

Dammit! That was amazing. You have just inspired me. You should make it into a chapter book and get it published.

star1 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 16 2009 at 3:45 pm
star1 BRONZE, Rochester, New York
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
i love it!!! hope you can continue it. very good. hope i can compare...

nekogirl said...
on Jun. 16 2009 at 3:07 am
Oh my god, it was soo good, better than anything i can hope to write, i wish i had the same kind of skills as you

on May. 29 2009 at 12:13 am
RainbowDark BRONZE, Brockton, Massachusetts
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
:) Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TJ_W. SILVER said...
on May. 28 2009 at 1:14 pm
TJ_W. SILVER, Spring Grove, Pennsylvania
6 articles 0 photos 3 comments
That was amazing. You've just inspired me! That sense of style and mood just hits something in my mind. It turns on a light, perhaps a black light.

on May. 11 2009 at 4:23 pm
MoonLightBelladonna BRONZE, Llangefni, Other
4 articles 0 photos 4 comments
wow, i really enjoyed this! you've got a brilliant sense of location and setting. x

on May. 9 2009 at 1:41 am
JennyDavis BRONZE, Rye, New York
1 article 0 photos 7 comments
I did think your story was really well-written, and certainly compelling/gripping, but I do wonder if perhaps you could have made clearer which parts of your story were dreams, and which were real life...I know it's kind of the point for the reader to figure it out, but after a lot of thinking, I'm still a little confused! Good job, though!

on Apr. 24 2009 at 6:12 pm
firstsnowfalls DIAMOND, Marcellus, New York
51 articles 6 photos 105 comments
wow. i don't even know what to say. wow.

on Apr. 19 2009 at 5:44 am
when_we_were_thieves GOLD, Boise, Idaho
15 articles 11 photos 13 comments
thats really good, amazing actually

i loved it. great job

Zero_K DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 6 2009 at 9:38 pm
Zero_K DIAMOND, Moosic, Pennsylvania
83 articles 0 photos 435 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's no fun if you're not insane, otherwise you grow up to be an accountant." -Moi

Oh. My. Gosh. I love it! Imagine, years and years of being killed by an angry mob, or for however long you're in a coma. Or maybe the dream changes? Amazing, Bravo!

maza.love GOLD said...
on Mar. 7 2009 at 7:31 pm
maza.love GOLD, Las Vegas, Nevada
14 articles 6 photos 23 comments
Incredible!

Bichara BRONZE said...
on Feb. 22 2009 at 11:50 pm
Bichara BRONZE, Monterrey, Other
1 article 7 photos 8 comments
DAMN! keep it up, LOVED the story its amazing! please i hope you get published!!!! keep on wrighting :D

Savana101_2 said...
on Feb. 18 2009 at 2:41 am
You have to turn it into a chapter book, and get it published.This story is amazing. I think millions of teenagers and adults would love to read this story. I think it would do quite well in a bookstore.

Krissy G. said...
on Feb. 8 2009 at 11:28 pm
All I can say is wow. This is amazing.

on Jan. 18 2009 at 7:08 pm
That was really good. As soon as I started reading it, I wanted to know more about these dreams and what's going on in the narrator's life. Keep Writing! This story has great potential and I hope to see it on a bookstore shelf one day so that I can find out what happens.

lover-girl said...
on Dec. 9 2008 at 11:48 pm
Omigosh this is an amazing piece! I don't think there is a word to describe how that made me feel. It really made me feel as if I were in the person's head!

Musicluvr said...
on Oct. 24 2008 at 2:19 am
This is a really well written piece. I'm not completely clear on how the dreams fall in but i think that may be what makes you want to keep reading. Good Job and keep writing

on Sep. 27 2008 at 7:04 pm
omg, i love this piece of writing, this person is really good, at wrting things like that,




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