Cara
Before my eyes even opened, I thought to myself, today is the day. The day I become a mother. I’m excited and nervous all at the same time. I opened my eyes and turned to see Mick next to me in bed. He was still fast asleep. I quietly get out of bed and get into the shower. After blow-drying my hair I fight with myself for five minutes whether or not to put my hair up, before brushing it down. I get dressed and slowly walk to the nursery. My mind wandered back to Joseph. I always thought the first child would be with him but then he died. I hear Mick getting up and he walks into the room. He jingles the keys in front of me to symbolize he is ready to leave. We get into the car and drive the half-n-hour to the hospital. I take a deep breath and grab the car-seat out of the back. Walking through the halls, I am suddenly aware of everything. Mick’s breathing. The receptionist clicking her pen. We finally reach the glass window filled with babies on the opposite side. We go in the room, and explain who we are. The nurse brings over a little bundle. She smiles as she says its a boy. I hold him, cannot believing what I am seeing. We name him Carl. As I am rocking Carl to sleep later that night, my mind wanders back to Joseph and where we would have been had he not died. I am happy though, and would not have changed a single thing in this moment.
I think of Cady and where she is and if she is all right. I am so thankful for her right now. I wonder if she ever held him before she signed the papers. I wonder if the father got to see him. I wonder what will happen tomorrow. I never want to let go of this moment. Mick comes in and I hold out Carl to him to hold. He looks down at him in happiness. Joseph would have been a great father too. We met only when I was sixteen and married when I was eighteen. I only wonder where we would have been today.