Shadows of the Past | Teen Ink

Shadows of the Past

December 3, 2008
By Ryan Gogats SILVER, Congers, New York
Ryan Gogats SILVER, Congers, New York
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I saw the shadow slowly approaching. I hurried my pace, worried it might be someone with intentions to do harm to me. As I began to run, I saw that the shadow seemed to follow me at the same pace, which is hard to describe, but it was as if it wasn’t restricted by human legs. It kept on like this until I reached the end of the alley, and I realized that I had heard nothing behind me this whole time. No footsteps, no heavy breathing, nothing.
Of course, I had to be walking down a narrow alley in the backstreets of New York City that night, not exactly a safe place to be this late at night, or early in the morning, I should say. I had been out on business, and didn’t want to take the long way to get back to my apartment. My name isn’t important, what is important is the events that took place at the very beginning of this day, starting right after midnight. But first, let me tell you of my story, everything that had happened up until this point.
I had killed a man. He was the man who ruined my life, and I’m still scarred to this very day. About a year ago, I discovered that my wife had been cheating on me. As a man, I decided to think it out and try to get through it. However, I couldn’t take it when she left me, telling me she couldn’t live with me, and that she felt far too guilty to be near me for the rest of her life. After further investigation, asking her close friends and family about this relationship, I found out who the man was, and how they got together. He was a wealthy, reputable man, and offered her money, told her that he could get her everything I couldn’t. I wouldn’t think of her as the type of woman to believe such a thing, but she gave in and they started going out, to fancy restaurants and such, without my knowledge.

After about a year of living alone, I decided that I had to see this supposedly wealthy man, and get my revenge, make him feel the pain that I’ve been feeling inside of me. I also realized at this moment how much I loathed him. He was the source of everything. If it was my wife who had actually done the betrayal, I wouldn’t have even wanted to get near this man. But he tricked her, and my life is a mess now because of it. And because of this tragedy, another tragedy resulted: I killed him, as he was liable for the life I had been living.

After his death, everything seemed to get somewhat better for me. I tried to focus on other things like my job, and tried to live a normal life alone, without someone to lean my head on. But, something had to happen that could change everything. As I was coming home from work one day, I was driving across the George Washington Bridge when I saw someone familiar out of the corner of my eye. It was her, and she was going to jump. Before I could stop the car and bring her to safety, I had to watch as the woman I once loved more than myself fell to her death. This distraught me. Although I managed to go from day to day, doing what I had to do, I always felt as if a part of me was missing. And this brings us to today.

After whatever had been behind me was gone, I resolved to go to a bar and drink my troubles away. I couldn’t erase what I had heard; it was his voice. I heard his voice echoing off the brick walls of buildings; he was screaming, seemingly in pain. I knew there was something wrong and thought that everything would be alright if I just attempted to have a good time somewhere. At the bar, I met some interesting women, but I knew I had to keep my distance. But one caught my eye, and we went back to my apartment together. She was an innocent, sweet girl, and I knew she was perfect for me. As I kissed her, I believed I had found the one, and that everything was meant to happen this way. We watched old movies all night, and she fell asleep in my arms. I fell asleep too, comfortably for the first time in a while. My mind was cleared, and I had never been more comfortable in my life. Then, I heard something. I can’t exactly recall what the noise was, but it woke me startlingly from me sleep. As I opened my eyes, I found myself staring directly at the infuriated face of my wife.


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