What We've Become

May 7, 2008
By Anonymous

As I slowly begin to turn my combination lock, I pause as I reach the first number. I quickly shoot a glance towards your last period class with curious, searching eyes.
Where are you? I wonder.
Are you avoiding me? I reach the third number of my combination and pull the lock open. After making sure no one is watching, I casually push it closed once more. I look down at my feet. I'm stalling. As I commence my familiar routine once more, part of me realizes how pathetic I'm being.

Why do I care about seeing you? What's makes you so special?
I think about all your flaws to distract me, but eventually realize that there aren't many. I bite my lip. This has got to stop. I know what you do, and I know how you are. I'm sure that you could never honestly care for anyone, but that doesn't stop me. I know that you make more mistakes than the average person, but I simply ignore them all. My mind clearly understands your disloyalty, but my eyes refuse to see what they don't want to believe.

Oh god... I see you making your way down the hallway. I hastily gather my books from the floor and slam my locker shut. It's too late. You've already spotted me. You flash me that smile. You take over my insides like an infectious disease that's completely incurable, no matter the remedy. I really don't want to experience this sensation, in fact, I would give anything to get rid of this toxic love sick feeling I now possess.

You approach me.

“Hey”, you say.
“Hi”, I manage.
You stare at me for a couple of seconds.
“Well?” You smirk. I simply glare back at you.
“How long have you been waiting for me?” You ask.
“What makes you think I've been waiting for you?”
You smile, and surprisingly I smile right back. You hug me and I let you.
Your voice is sincere and you look me straight in the eye, “I miss you”.
You take my hand and rub your thumb around my palm. We walk out the door as you talk to me, and I just listen, taking it all in.

My cell phone vibrates in my pocket, waking me from my oh so familiar daydream. I continue turning my combination lock, and look down the hall to your classroom. I see you walking in my direction, but this time it's for real. You spot me and walk the opposite way. I slam my locker shut and scurry towards the door, because to put it quite simply, this is what we've really become.

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