Man Saves City!

November 3, 2008
By
Frida Fricklebobber was going about her usual business. She got up, took care of her beloved Persian cat BinkerBoo and her ordinary dog Dave, and got ready to head to work. When she left the house she accidentally left one of the windows open. BinkerBoo happened to be a very angry cat; he had been since the minute his owner picked him up from the pound. The crazy woman couldn’t get it through her thick head that he was a MALE CAT, not a play toy! She was ruining his mo-jo! BinkerBoo may have looked slightly ridiculous in his pink froofy sweater and hat, but he was a quick one. That morning he started his usual trip around the house looking for a good hiding spot for then that dreaded woman came back, when he discovered the open window! “FREEDOM” he shouted as he made an attempted leap, but ended up hitting the wall face first. You would think this would have smooshed his face flat, but it already was so it didn’t make a big difference. BinkerBoo noticed a chair in the room that would make it a lot easier to get to the window. He couldn’t move the chair by himself, so he decided to try the last resort. “DOG! COME NOW!” he ordered the dog. Dave was in the house WAY before BinkerBoo came along and he used to Frida’s pride and joy. After she got that darned cat, it was like he didn’t even exist! So he wasn’t too fond of the cat, especially since he was a fat jerk. Dave wandered to the bathroom to see what the cat was bellowing about. After he heard BinkerBoo’s plan, he completely agreed because once the wretched cat was gone, he would once again be the center of attention! BinkerBoo just told Dave he wanted to escape, he failed to mention the other part of his plan or the dog never would have helped him escape.

BinkerBoo decided that if he was going to leave this dump of a town, he needed some money. He walked along and thought of some ways he could get money. He suddenly remembered a movie about a man who became very rich by robbing banks. He happened to spot a US Bank across the street. BinkerBoo crossed the street and noticed the “No Pets Allowed” sign as he began to enter. He knew he just couldn’t just walk into a bank without being noticed. He saw a woman with a fairly large purse walking towards the bank, so he came up with a plan. He wedged a rock under the door so if the lady wanted to get in, she would have to bend down and move the rock. The plan worked, and when she put the purse down, he carefully crawled in while she moved the rock. She picked up her purse and hardly noticed how much heavier it had gotten; she was in a hurry obviously. She got to the teller’s booth and set her purse up on the counter. Before anyone could even blink, BinkerBoo shot out of the purse like a cannon. “Muhahaha” he laughed as he landed behind the counter. The teller looked down to see a severely overweight Persian cat wearing a pink sweater and a little hat. As shocked as she was, she couldn’t help but giggle a little bit. She didn’t realize that if you wanted to set BinkerBoo off, all you had to do was laughing at him. She screamed as the giant fur ball took a flying leap and landed on her head. He was so heavy that he made her tip over and hit her head against the counter. This knocked her out and BinkerBoo moved like lightening to the back vaults before any of the other employees could catch him. He had been more prepared than you would have thought and had brought a grenade that produced sleeping gas. He used his teeth to tear the top off and tossed it out front. He began to collect several hundred dollars in black bags. After he got around $200,000 he made his way around the sleeping bodies and out the door he went. He heard sirens so he high tailed it to a safer place. He found an abandoned warehouse and he figured that this would be the perfect lair for a criminal like himself! He needed a partner in crime…it seemed as if something had almost read his mind when a raccoon jumped out! “Get out of here Fluffy, this is MY secret lair” the raccoon snarled. “My name isn’t FLUFFY” BinkerBoo sneered, “It’s BinkerBoo!” The raccoon just looked at him, and then burst into uncontrollable laughter. After the raccoon whose name was Cheese, got himself under control, he smelled the money. “Say there, Fluffy, whatcha got in the bag?” as he began to make his way towards them. BinkerBoo leaped in front of the bags before Cheese could get any further and stated “The only way you can see how much I have in here, is if you share this secret lair.” Cheese studied the cat and decided he liked the way the kitty thought. He agreed to let BinkerBoo live their and help out on all his mischief. They split the money up. They would have bought things with it, but the money wasn’t needed because they stole everything. They were the best criminals the town had ever seen, not that anyone could figure out who they were. You don’t get much trickier than an evil cat and a clever raccoon. One night while they feasted on at least 300 Krispy Kreme doughnuts, Cheese mentioned a new idea that he had been planning for a while. “Let’s take over the city; we are OBVIOUSLY smarter than all these human. It would be a piece of cake!” BinkerBoo thought that this was BRILLIANT and they could easily pull it off. So they went to work for the next few weeks making sure that their evil scheme would word according to plan.

The day finally came where they were going to take over the city. They got up that morning and got dressed in matching suits with little hats. If they were going to get an appointment with the mayor, they had to look professional. The mayor was a VERY important man. He had a system that operated the whole city in his office. BinkerBoo and Cheese knew that this was their ticket to taking over the city. They called his secretary and scheduled an appointment to discuss “animal safety”. They showed up to their appointment at the scheduled time, but the mayor was running wait so they patiently waited for their turn.

Jeffy Adams was kind of a loser. He didn’t have much of a life, considering that he devoted his life to working for the mayor. It wasn’t that he loved the mayor so much that he used all his free times to run errands for him. The reason was that the mayor was a huge jerk, and threatened to fire him if he didn’t obey him. He was the “assistant” to the mayor. Jeffy got the job because at the time, the first mayor was a very kind man who treated Jeffy like his own son. Unfortunately the original mayor decided to go live in Kenya. Uggy Ack was now the mayor of the city. No one really voted for him, because there wasn’t an election. Uggy just kind of made himself mayor.

Uggy had been on the phone for an hour, so Jeffy decided to go use the bathroom while he had a chance. While he was walking through the office he noticed a peculiar pair. It wasn’t every day you saw a cat and raccoon dressed up in snazzy little suits and hats reading Times. While he was in the restroom, Cheese and BinkerBoo were told they could go talk to the mayor. They walked in and sat down like little gentleman while Uggy looked through his papers, trying to figure out why they were here. He leaned down to look through a drawer, and they knew that this would be their only chance. Cheese slyly pulled out a “net harpoon”. It looked like a gun, but when you shot it a giant net came out. When Uggy came back up, Cheese aimed and fired. It was a perfect shot and it bound Uggy to his chair. They tied him more securely, and while they were trying to put the gag in his mouth, he yelled “HEELLPPPP!!!!!” Cheese left to go mess with the operating board while BinkerBoo worked quickly to shut the overweight mayor up. Jeffy had heard commotion coming from the office, and he knew it couldn’t be a good sign. He was shocked when he opened the door to find the mayor tied up, while BinkerBoo and Cheese typed away while laughing evilly. They didn’t hear Jeffy come in, and he found the net harpoon lying on the ground, with only one net left. He knew he couldn’t screw up this time and miss, so he aimed and caught them both! Jeffy moved fast knowing that BinkerBoo could use his claws to escape. He got them tied in there so that he knew they couldn’t get out. Jeffy then called the Animal Control. They decided that it was too much of a risk to put BinkerBoo and Cheese in jail, because they would probably escape. So they sent them to a far away land where they were never going to cause any trouble again!





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TDean said...
Dec. 11, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Decent
 
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