Odd Al

January 24, 2014
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He gets up in the morning at 6:31, then rolls right into the shower for 15 minutes exactly. Once he finishes taking the shower he puts his casual olive-colored, collared button-up shirt with khaki pants. Next he goes into the kitchen to make his 1 black cup of coffee and eat 1 golden green apple. After, he eats his apple in 7 gargantuan bites, and then makes a bowl of oatmeal that cooks in the microwave for 1 minute and 31 seconds. As he eats his oatmeal he thinks of his favorite number, 112. “A” is the 1st letter in the alphabet and “L” is the 12th letter in the alphabet, making 112. 112 becomes 3 if 1 is divided by 1 and added to 2.

Once he finishes his bowl of oatmeal he goes outside into his mailbox which is nailed slanted on his porch. He gets his mail and grabs his phone on his full brown leather couch. When he reads the text from his boss it says “The stock market just dropped to 224 points”. He’s so impassioned: he despises even numbers and only likes odd numbers. Since he was a boy he’s only wanted to see odd numbers because his teachers constantly sang 2, 2, 4, 4, 2, 2 etc. It stained his dreams at night, keeping him awake. Odd numbers were his only rescue.

He runs into his beat up Prius and drives to his work in 11 minutes and 23 seconds. When he gets to Wall Street Funding, where he is an administrative assistant, he goes into his cubicle and starts throwing papers and punching his computer, kicking and shoving everything around. His boss comes over wanting to see where all the noise is coming from. Al then gets on his computer and see that the stock market did not drop 224 points. Everyone comes around him and started laughing and calling him “Odd Al”. He sits back in his chair and takes the embarrassment and nods his head back and forth. For now.

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