Rosaline Speaks

November 3, 2008
By Rebecca Deffler, South Plainfield, NJ

Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou so stupid!

Romeo, darling, it's not relaly that I've sworn a vow of chastity. Not at all, in fact. Actually, I'm just not very fond of annoying, petty, little lovesick teenage boys.

Now, I know that the only reason you came to that party at my uncle's house was that you wanted to sneak a few looks at me, all dolled up. And that's all fine and dandy, Romeo. I don't really mind being the object of one's obsession. In fact, I quite enjoy dangling you from my web, waiting to see what your next move might be. The only issue i have is that you actually WANT me. Like, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, all that.

Quite frankly dear, I like being a free agent. I like the options. I like the change.

So, no, I haven't actually sworn to God that I'll stay pure and chaste forever. I just don't want to get all tied down right now. I'm at a great age! Thirteen is an age for fun, not for serious attachments.

You did look rather handsome in those nice party clothes, though...

I would be perfectly happy to get to know you, REALLY WELL. As long as it doesn't involve me making any promises to stay with you forever, and so on.

Maybe, now that you're with your dear, sweet Juliet (she's my cousin, so I won't let anyone find out if you don't), you'd be happy to be friendly, just not serious. Maybe you'd like to spend some time with me, but without your little girlfriend, and we could get to know each other a little better.

Romeo, honey, it's fine to have a little fun on the side, especially if it's a secret.

I think the problem is that I like a challenge, and when you were so head over heels, you weren't really a challenge. More like a parasite, actually, one that won't go away. Now, however, you're unattainable. And if you ask me, boy, that's attractive.

So go ahead, Romeo. Send a messenger whenever you want to meet up.

xoxo Rosaline

The author's comments:
Inspired by Margaret Atwood's "Getrude Talks Back," this selection shows Rosaline from Romeo and Juliet addressing Romeo.

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