The Lord of the Flies Speaks

November 3, 2008
By Jeremiah Magpile, South Plainfield, NJ

Dude. Simon. You seem a little stiff. Hello? It’s the flies isn’t it? Yes? No? Yes? Yeah I thought so. Don’t mind them. It’s not so bad after they get through the first layer of—dude? I’m losing you again. Hello? I’m trying to have a decent conversation here but you’re too busy talking to yourself…Ok. What are you staring at now? Look, I know I am a rotting pig head (and a tad unkempt maybe) but you’re staring at me like “my half shut eyes are filled with the cynicism of life” or something. That’s not very pol—what was that? “I know that” you say? What do you know? Oh...well then. Just because I don’t get to sit by the beach all day and get as nicely tanned as you do doesn’t mean—Simon...Simon…Simon! Look here please. Please? God, you’re a strange one. Can you even hear what I’m saying? ‘Cause I get the feeling you’re not even hearing what I’m saying, like you’re talking to someone else… Bah. I told you not to mind the flies. They’ll go away right as soon as they finish gorging on my—Oh! Look at that. They’re playing leap frog on your thighs, sort of. Haha! Kind of nasty if you ask me but the iridescent green is kind of nice to look at…there! Finally you look at me. I mean it’s kind of hard for me to gesticulate, being on a stick and all, but—dude, are you alright? — didn’t your nice, polite British mum teach you how it’s rude not make eye contact when talking with someone? There. Now that I have your attention, I can tell you that—whoa. What is that sound? Almost sounds like a beating, a pulse coming from somewhere… Anyway.

So yeah, you might want to go back to the oth—Dude, Simon. What? Who are you talking to? Who’s a silly little boy? Dude, you have to chill. It’s me. Come on… What? What am I doing out here alone? Well, long story (involving spears and overexcited boys) actually but since you asked—Huh? What did you say just now? Am I afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you? You’re “the beast” you say? Haha! Dude, come on you’re a saint! You’re practically Jesu….Simon? Are you alright? You’re stiffening up again. What’s wrong? Ok, now you’re shivering. You can tell me. We’re close, right? Close, close, close? You know that right? Oh come on, don’t look at me like that, like I’m some schoolmaster… You sure you’re alright? I’d give you a hug if I ….had limbs. Simon? You’re head is kind of wobbling and you look like you’re about to throw up. Now you’re eyes are half closed. You should lay off those berries. Dude. You should go back to Ralph and Piggy? But Jack. Watch out for that kid. Hey, can you hear me? Yeah, me. I’m warning you. That kid Jack. Him and his little choir. They just want to have fun on this island. Poor misguided boys…Hey Simon, you listening? By the way, is there anything in my teeth? Can you do me a solid and look? Thanks man...
Hey, listen. Don’t try it on because –Simon! Are you alright? Simon…Simon….

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