October 26, 2008
“You are from Be Creww aren’t you? …We’ve been waiting.”

Ok, so maaaybe I should start from the beginning. My name is Jay Lana. I will come right out and say it, I am a spy in training at Lana Be Creww School for Spies (yes the Creww is spelt like that, my grandparents were a little EXOTIC), or the L.B.C.S.S. A lot of explaining comes with saying that. I think the way we spell Creww is like that because of the crew that has always been here. It started off with my grandparents and their friends and now their descendents-me and my friends-are the crew! My friend’s names are: Key Yan, Delyna Ashley, and Keno Way. It has always been like this, two boys and two girls! No one is allowed to be boyfriend and girlfriend in the Creww though. Because then the line of people in the Creww wouldn’t be the “right amount” of people. It sucks badly because I like Ke-“oops. My telltale is vibrating. I have a call to take.” flips open. “Hello?” some deep, menacing, man voice replies, “we have your little girl friend here.” I think to myself Oh.My.God. Delyna! “You want a match, don’t you? Where are you and we will come.” I reply. “I will send you the address. I don’t have patience. Remember that.” He says and then a dead end on the other side. I sit there at my new pine wood desk and revolving chair in shock.

“What do I do?!” I scream out loud too myself. Call in the Creww and backup. My mind responds. “Wow, you’re smart.” I say. It comes from you dummy! “Oh yeah. Right.” I open the phone again and dial 3.
“Hello?” the beautiful low voice responds. I don’t know if I like Key or Keno. Love is very confusing.
“Key! I think Dally has Delyna!” I yell into the small microphone on my hand.
“Whoa there dude. Relax, call Keno. Where do you want to meet up?” he says. Not even a little worried for her! Jeez what a weirdo!
“The Star Restaurant, ok?” I say.
“Okay see you in a bit.” I close the telltale and open it again. I dial 4. A different voice than I thought answers.
“Hello?” Keno’s dad, Justin says.
“Hey this is Jay.”
“Hey there Jay. What do you need? You sound stressed.”
“What I need right now is Keno. Could you put him on for me?”
“Oh, some boy troubles Jay?” He responds in a teasing tone. Even though I know he is teasing I still blush madly.
“Come on Justin! Now is NOT the time. I need to talk to Keno.”
“Fine, fine. Ruin my fun.” he mutters. I don’t think I was supposed to hear that. “Just a second,” He turns away from the phone. “KENO!” I hear faintly but also loudly at the same time.
I wait about two minutes. And then: “Jay?”
“Keno, oh my gosh! I got a call from a man with a deep menacing voice and I think it was Dally! And he says he has Delyna!” Close to crying I compose myself and then focus on what Keno has to say.
“Jay-Jay it’s ok! It’s ok! Where are we meeting?” Keno is the only one that I allow to call me that.
“The Star Restaurant” I reply.
“Ok I will see you there!” I end the telltale.
I grab my coat and head out the door. Are you serious? We have to WALK there? My brain complains. “Yes we do. So stop complaining.”
(A little while later) “Five minutes of walking...I am so bored! Where is Key?!”
“Right here.” I whip around at the voice and he actually is there with his car and everything!
“FINALLY!” I say, relieved that I don’t have to walk anymore and jump into the front seat.
“Let’s get Keno and then get to Dally’s hideout. Do you have the directions?” He asks
“Yes he faxed them to me a couple minutes after I was done calling keno-there he is! (Out the window) KENO! GET IN!” Keno runs over. Man he is FAST! “I know right?” I respond out loud unthinkingly. Key looks confused. I just plainly say “nothing”.
It takes about ten minutes to drive to Dally’s hideout. During the ride everyone is quiet while we pray for Delyna’s safety in our heads. In my head I had that and the fact that I am turning fifteen along with Key, Keno, and Delyna tomorrow! Oh what to do, what to do! How about think of an escape plan for Delyna? You haven’t even thought about it for a second! “Oh yeah...” I mutter to myself. Stop replying out loud! Embarrassed I look around but no one seems to have heard me. Thank god. My brain sounds relieved. Well that makes one of us.
“I think now would be a good time to plan our escape for Delyna. Right?” I say nonchalantly.
“Pretty much. It’s at his usual place isn’t it?” Key replies.
“Yeah, so naturally there will be a force field around the barrier with Delyna in it. How are we to get past that?” Keno asks rhetorically.
“I think we should wing it. There will be resources there to break the force field as always.” I put in.
“Sounds good to me.” Says Key. Of course it does, I think.
Then we just stopped talking.
At the big housing development where he stays we parked far away and roamed the backyards of his neighbors to get a good view on how we should get in first-since all the houses are built the same. It looks as though there is a big window that goes from the attic to the second floor when we stand in the back of the house. Anyone could see that it’s a decoy. I mean I sure could. It has a little bit of a tilt to it by a fraction of a degree and the color is wrong with how the sun is pointed at the house. Anyone could notice that stuff right? Oh well. I shouldn’t dwell on being normal now. My brain just wouldn’t shut up.
We decide on walking right in the back door. There is no point of an attack surprise.
When inside we hear screaming and all think at the same time DELYNA!
“It’s ok, we will save her.” Keno reassures me. He’s so sweet!
“Creww is on. Let’s go save Delyna.” I whisper.
We reach the big room from which the screaming came from we see Dally with Delyna’s hair in his hand. I can’t fight the urge and yell out “DELYNA!” and they turn to look at me as Dally throws Delyna our way. Here comes the line I had been dreading to hear.
“You are from Be Creww aren’t you? …We’ve been waiting.”
I shudder at the sound of his creeptacular voice, and think who is we?
“What do you want with us?” I say calmly. I have practiced this voice many times. Show No Fear, Look Hard, and Stand Strait.
“I want to show you something, only you my dear Jay-Jay.” I hear muffled cries from behind me and look back and I only see the blackness of the hall me, Key, and Keno just came out of.
“I will only look if you give me my friends back.” I state back coldly and matter-of-factly.
Dally chuckles “Sure sure. Come over here Jay.”
I oblige. He grabs my neck and shoves my face up close to a screen.
“What do you see?” He says curiously.
I stare at it in horror and confusion. “My family,” I say in a stunned voice “Why do you have video’s of my family?!”
“Those are monitors of your family so I can kill them at any time if you do not do something for me.” He says back cool and collected.
I ponder what is happening for a little bit while I stare at my little brother, my mother, and my father and then a realization comes to me. He will KILL MY FAMILY if I don’t do something for him?! I say at last “Anything.”
“Good answer.”
“Dally get on with it, what do you want?” I said hot-headedly.
“You.” He says.
“WHAT?!” I yell in surprise and leap away from him. “What do you need from me!?”
“I want you to be my bride.”


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Rightsideout127 said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Okay, so it sounds like it could be a really interesting story BUT you've got to work on it. For instance, the beginning is very simple. Its too much explaining, and it's not a real hook. And see the other you need to work on would probably be that its too much plot in the beginning when we haven't even connected with the characters yet you know? but it sounds really interesting! Keep writing! :D
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