Ashes Divided Prolouge | Teen Ink

Ashes Divided Prolouge

October 20, 2008
By Anonymous

“Georgie, I don't think this looks right on me.” Turning around to look in the mirror, I wore a black strapless dress that had some frills on the edge of the top and then the bottom. My hair was tied up in a bun, with a small touch of rouge .


“You look great”, he whispered from behind and wrapped his arms around my waist. I felt his hands circle on my stomach and feeling the bulge of our child. My eyes watered.

In that moment, I was lost in my own dreams and hopes. Without realizing it I slipped some words to the only man I thought I'd ever love, “I love you”.

He said nothing. All I felt was his body stiffen. His embrace loosened and his warmth faded. I wondered whether if I made a mistake or not.

“I do too” he whispered slowly and swayed us side to side. I sighed with relief that I didn't ruin something before it began. “Come on let's get going. We don't want to be late Love”. He opened the door from our hotel room “I was thinking about something. What if this doesn't wor---” he stopped mid sentence and looked at me with a smile. “Forget it”

I felt the sparkled specs of the small bulbs that suspended themselves from the dangling cords above the gym doors, the way I felt his hands roam on my body, the laughter of my peers so cheered and amused. The stage propped with a singing guitarist, the lighting dim but gleaming, the smell of snacks on the tables.

Memorized with my surroundings, I barely caught what George asked me when my eyes focused on the snack table. I blinked a few times when I felt him nudge me.

“Are you thirsty?” he asked me, “Want some fruit punch or water?”

“Punch would be nice.” I said with a shy smile.

“All right, wait right here”. He swarmed through the crowd of fancy dressed bodies. Then he returned to me, and handed me a small cup. I smiled thankfully, and drank it quickly. The only problem was the feeling when it went down my throat. It stung slightly, and it was a bitter taste, almost acidic. My stomach ached with pain and I felt light headed.

“George, I'm not feeling well”, I closed my eyes, my vision was blurred. I turned to see him and saw some black figures on the door, and I saw George stand in front of me. “George didn't you hear me? I said I wasn't feeling well” I hunched over holding my stomach. George came over and held me in his arms, I looked up at him and found him with grinning lips

I looked past him and saw the black figures that were near the door frame grow into a larger crowd of figures, tall, short, and wide figures clustered together. I then looked back at George, he leaned his head beside mine and whispered gently on my ear, “Goodnight”.

He thrust his lips to mine, then the next thing I knew I was paralyzed, my body thudding to the floor, I felt like lead, and I looked up to George. My eyes asked the question that I couldn't manage to say, my lips felt like marble.

He answered, “It's because no one cares about you”.


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This article has 2 comments.


on Oct. 30 2008 at 11:23 pm
That's horrible! I mean, the writing is awesome, but the way that guy just killed her and her unborn child, it's just too horrible for words! I mean, ugh.... That's just really sucks for her! Write more, I like your style!

Joy chica said...
on Oct. 30 2008 at 9:39 pm
This was an intriguing and suspenceful story. However, I do have a minor critique. The way it's written, it appears to be the first chapter of a story or a prologue. There aren't enough details to explain who the characters are, and what exactly is going on. All in all, this is my grown-up way of whining that I want to read more. Great job overall.