The Secrets She Held

October 11, 2008
Chapter 1

I sat laying on the couch, motionless. I knew that someone was coming. But I had no clue as to who it was, and it scared me. Was it a girl or a guy? Fat or thin? Nice or mean? None of it really mattered but to me I was scared. Just earlier I was laying on my bed hoping that Jake Williams would finally call me and ask me to the dance. Never happened. But I waited patiently until I couldn't stand it anymore. So now here I layed on the couch waiting for the door to ring. "Mandy", my mom called sweetly from the kitchen. Tonight she was practicing another one of her famous tuna casseroles. 'Great, another night of me heading over to the local market.' There was always a slice of pizza waiting for me at a little restaurant. People always walked by it but everyday to school the aroma would fill my nostrils. So fresh, and inviting. Then the smell of downtown Jersey would hit me like a ton of bricks. But everyday I would trudge on my way to the place that I hated most. School.

I mean it was just a place for you to connect with the same people over and over again. And occasionally someone new would come every few years. Sometimes they we're accepted. Sometimes they weren't. And well I wasn't. It was just about two years ago that I arrived at 'Long View' public school. People seemed nice for the first couple of days but then something changed. A nasty rumor got out that my dad was in prison. Twice. I even heard people whispering one time that he killed someone. None of it was true, of course. but these days teenagers do anything to get a laugh. Everyone at Long View was just so perfect. Most of them were blonde, with the exception of a few brunettes, and red-heads. But they all fit in perfectly, except me. I wasn't ugly or anything but I'm definitely not a perfect blonde, who plays almost every sport and has had at least 10 boyfriends in her lifetime. Last time I checked my count was still on zero. But how bad I wanted Jake. He was just so sweet, and nice. Unlike the other immature boys who would run up to me and snap my bra. But I guess that those old memories were long gone.

Since entering high school. Something changed. They we're nicer to me. Some even complimented me on my new clothes or hairstyle. In younger years I was more of a tom boy but as I grew through puberty I noticed that I had the potential of being pretty. I was skinny and at about a normal height; as my mother always tells me. My hair was so light brown that it had specks of natural blonde in it. My eyes we're almond shaped and my mother said that I had lashes to die for. long, black, and thick. The color of my eyes were unknown. More of a hazel color with tiny specks of gold. They complimented the blonde in my hair. But I still never really saw the beauty that I possessed until high school. Even still I could use some work. I was still the same old awkward, shy teenager with a few style and fashion changes. My best friend Vanessa was anything but awkward. She was so self-assured of her beauty and good looks. I was always jealous of her, but to fiddle to admit it. I mean how could I possibility manage to lose the one friend that promised to never leave me.

She lived just down the street and was the first one that smiled and said hello to me when I first entered the door of Mrs.Maddels classroom back in grade 7. Since then our friendship had been unbeatable. Sure we fought and told each others secrets but she was more of a sister to me. I knew that she would always have my back and keep my deepest secrets until her death. And hopefully the letter that she wrote before she died with all my secrets on it. Would be thrown into a fire somewhere. I shuddered at this thought as I slowly put my feet on the brand new carpet that my mother got installed and got up. Catching my balance from the immediate head rush that filled my brain.

When I walked into the kitchen mom was busy chopping up cucumber to put into the salad. She was headed off to work soon. She was always busy at her office. It was like it was turning into her life. everyone noticed but her. My dad on the other hand was always there for me. Until now. Just recently he got a great job promotion that caused him to be on business trips all the time. I hardly got to see him. I never spoke up about how I felt because I knew that he was doing this for me and my little sister Lizzy.

Mom looked up from dumping the cucumber into the salad and gave me a concerned look. "Honey what's wrong?", she asked in a rushy tone. she looked at her watch. She was going to be late for work. "Listen sweetie I've got to run to the office. The new babysitter should be here soon. Lizzy is upstairs working on painting me a picture. Make she that she is all cleaned up. Okay, that's your one responsibility.", she looked at me again and tried to smile. I gave her an awkward crooked smile. She sighed at my effort then got out the plates and utensils.

I bit my lip nervously. It was a habit that I had since I was little. when dad told us that he would be in California for 3 weeks I had bitten my lip so hard that eventually blood fell down my chin. "Mom", I began taking a deep breath "I really don't think that me or Lizzy needs a baby sitter. I mean you have me. And I can take a course..", I trailed off waiting for her response. She just looked up from setting the table and walked over to me. Placing her soft hands on my shoulders. I just looked at her as she tried to think of what to say. My mother was a hard-working woman. Very slim and tall. Her dark brown hair had hints of red and blonde all over. Her make up was always perfectly done as well as the rest of her primping for her next meeting. She told me that she would just throw anything on, but I knew the truth. She cared about where she was going to get in her profession, so did I but I wished that for once she would just stop and take a breath. And finally realize that me and Lizzie need her more then her job needs her.

"Honey", she said gently, avoiding my gaze. "I know that your not comfortable with the fact of a baby sitter. But just think it's for Lizzie, not for you. And I know that you could handle it but I need to be sure that your mature enough. She can be a tough one to take care of. And we both know that she doesn't listen very well to you. Besides your young. you shouldn't be stuck at home. You should be out with your friends, shopping, gossiping with your girlfriends, talking to boys..", she lingered on then smiled. I opened my mouth to complain but stopped myself. What was the use. She was intent on having someone come over every night except on Fridays. And on some weekends. So I shrugged my shoulders in defeat. "I guess", I motioned as she gave me a quick hug before grabbing her purse. She looked at her watch again. "Where is this person?", she muttered out loud. I didn't know if she was talking to me or to herself.

I stayed quiet as she tapped her fingernails off of the dining room table. Our house was big, and decorated in some rich fashions. But it also had that lived in look. Especially my room. I tried to keep it clean, but clothes began to pile up. Mine and Vanessa's many shopping trips took quite a tool on my room as well. "Ding, ding", the doorbell rang loudly. Causing me an my mom to both jump at the same time. She smiled brightly "Finally", she said relieved as she grabbed her stuff then headed to the door. I stayed in the dining room. I could hear them talking but wasn't close enough to hear if it was a girl or boy. So I slowly walked into the front hall nervously. Mom was still talking as this person was still outside. I just stood there awkwardly not knowing who, or what to expect. When I finally heard her invite him in.

At first I was taken aback, literally. I fell into the table that held a vase full of flowers. I immediately felt the blood rush to my cheeks in embarrassment. I looked up to see him, and my mom staring at me. He was nothing at all what I expected in a babysitter. He was tall and had a glowing tan, not something that you usually see in Jersey. I quickly examined his body as I tried to hide my embarrassment. Even through his Fall jacket I could see that he was muscular. His face seemed so familiar, yet at the same time so different. His features we're very angular, and masculine. I looked into his eye's quickly. They we're a very light blue that complimented his dark, short hair. He noticed that I was staring so he looked away then back at my mom. She introduced us. "Mandy, this is Adam. The new babysitter."

I didn't know what it was about him but their was something so dangerous about him, yet at the same time so gentle. Maybe it was his sharp, attractive features, or his piercing, gentle blue eye's. But one thing that I knew for sure. This boy, or maybe he was a man had me wondering. About many things actually. And I had just met him. But I sensed it through every being of my body. He was trouble.

Chapter 2

"Okay well I should go now before I'm late for work. Adam, all the emergency numbers are on the fridge. I made food so you're welcome to it. Mandy help him out with anything, okay?", she warned as she leaned in and kissed my head. She said a quick good bye then headed out the door. It was as if she never even came home and then left. Me and Adam just stood in the hallway looking at each other. The silence was killing me so I offered to go and get Lizzie.

She ran down the stairs with paint all over her new Dora top, and in her hair. She went to give me a hug but I dodged her as well that I could. I looked over at Adam. For a second he looked like he was smiling. Lizzie smiled at me as she kept her distance. She was a very cute little girl. But the adventures that she got herself into usually ended with me being the maid to clean everything up. Lizzie pointed to Adam "Who's that?", she squealed with delight at the thought of possibly making a new friend. I smiled at her spirit. "That's Adam. He's your new baby sitter.", I emphasized the word 'Your' so that he would take notice. Adam smiled at Lizzie as he took his jacket off. He was wearing a gray polo, with the collar popped. And dark jeans. He looked to be around seventeen or eighteen. Once again I couldn't stop myself from looking at his muscles. He wasn't even flexing yet they popped out from under his polo.

"Um", I said anxiously. "Do you want something to drink? Or my mom made food?", I crinkled my nose at the smell. He noticed and sent me a sly smile. "No thanks", he said effortlessly. The words seemed to have just rolled of his tongue like air. And his voice was so casual yet at the same time mysterious, and mystified. He just stood there with such poise that I even felt a sprang of jealously come abruptly to my chest. I didn't know what else to do or what else to say so I put all my focus on Lizzie. She was suddenly shy yet still smiling at Adam. Who just smiled back. I couldn't bare the silence anymore so I made up an excuse to go upstairs. "Have to finish my math homework", I lied. He just nodded slowly, as if he knew I was lying. I brushed past him and smiled at Lizzie before disappearing upstairs.

Once I got to my room I exhaled. I forgot to breathe why he was in my presence. I still didn't understand why someone so good-looking was a babysitter. I had so many questions that I wanted to ask him. But it was so uncomfortable still. It was like we we're trying to size each other up. Miraculously so far for him he seemed decent. I on the other hand acted so stupid. From the flowers to the ability to make meeting someone for the first time so awkward. I walked over to my dresser and sat down I wanted to hit myself on the head for my stupidity. 'Why was I getting all worked up over this?', I asked myself. I mean I don't even know this guy so why do I care. "Ugh", I muttered as I stood up and slowly got undressed. I was about to lift my shirt above my head, exposing my polka dotted bra when I heard a knock on my door. I figured that it was just Lizzie trying to irritate me but she usually kept on knocking.

So I walked towards my door. My top was off all I had on was my bra and my jeans. Then all of a sudden the door sprang open. It was Adam. I screamed loudly. He opened his eye's so wide then closed the door so fast I could feel the air fall onto my face. I realized that I was still screaming. I tightly clasped my hand on my mouth. I fell onto my bed and squished my face onto my pillow. I was so embarrassed. I even felt like I was going to cry. But at the same time I was so thankful that he barely saw anything. I mean it wasn't like I was embarrassed by my body or anything. I wasn't flat-chested. I had my mom's favorite asset. I chuckled at this then remembered what happened again. I groaned as I went to the corner of my room, out of view of the door. I quickly got undressed and covered myself tightly with a towel. Before I ran to the washroom I stuck my head carefully out my door. Just to make sure that he wasn't there. "5 4 3..", I counted down in my head. when I got to one I ran so fast that the towel that so carefully was supporting me fell right off. I sprung up so fast and looked around making sure that no one saw that.

But I swore I could hear him laughing.

After my shower I felt much more relaxed then before. I made sure before I left the washroom that i made a checklist:

1. Don't run.
2. Get a lock for door.
3. Get a washroom inside bedroom so that I won't have to leave room ever.
4. Get a mini fridge.

I chuckled loudly at this last thought. I ducked into my room more obtusely then intended. This caused my door to slam hard against the clean, slated wood. I shuddered at the sound and felt like hiding under my blankets. 'Stay composed Mandy', I told myself quietly. I looked at my clock "8:50" Mom wouldn't be home for two more hours. I had no homework so I finally decided to just try and sleep. I had never felt so confined to my room this intensely before. I changed into an oversized T-shirt and little shorts. My damp hair laid loosely on my shoulders falling into pretty waves. I crawled into bed and snuggled with my teddy bear; my dad gave it to me when I was just a little baby. I still couldn't give it up no matter how many times my mom convinced me to get rid of the ratty old thing. I glanced at my clock again. Only 10 minutes had passed. I closed my eye's tightly and tried to inhale and exhale with deep breaths. It usually helped me fall asleep. After a while my breathing started to slow down, my heart moved in slow rthymic beats. Finally I was drifting off when I heard a loud bang downstairs followed by laughter and the TV.

I groaned as I got out of bed. I rubbed my eye's and shielded them from the light as I walked into the hallway. As I walked down the stairs I saw Lizzie sitting at the dining room drawing a picture. I looked over at the couch. Adam was lying down watching TV. I ducked as he got up and went over to Lizzie. She smiled instantly when he peered over her shoulders. He complimented her on the drawing then asked if he could help. I felt my que to walk down the stairs. Adam looked up first and locked eye's with me. I could tell that he was still really regretful so I looked away. I walked to the table to see what she drew. He didn't even look at me. All his focus was on Lizzie's drawing. I walked by both of them to get a glass of water. Once I came back into the dining room Adam was back watching TV. My favorite show was on and I couldn't even watch it. I pouted a little and Liz noticed and gave me a weird look then copied my pout. I laughed silently. Then walked back up to my room. I thought that it was one place that I could hide in. But even he wrecked that privacy by walking in on my changing.

I crawled back into bed and somehow was able to fall asleep. Despite all the stress that was on my mind. The whole baby sitter thing still seemed ridiculous to me. Yes, Adam was gorgeous but that didn't mean anything. I mean most serial killers dress up as casual good looking men. Was I that delirious? In truth, I was going crazy.

Chapter 3

The past week had been hectic. And I mean it. I even had a little routine for my new life. I came home everyday after school and:

1. Say an awkward hello to Adam then smile at Lizzie
2. Grab whatever snacks I could find to store in my minifridge(That I will buy).
3. Call Vanessa and complain about my life. Then ask her to come hang out.
4. Come home late at night, or stay in my room all night.
5. Write a hate letter to Adam, but never send it.
6.Throw it in the garbage and laugh at myself and my stupid life.

It had literary become my life. I would even create a map of my house so that I could colour code the Adam safe zones, and then the danger zones. I knew that I had turned into a sad teenage girl. But there was something about Adam that told me to stay away. Then at the same time there was something deep inside me that longed for him.

I opened my front door and put my coat into the coat rack. A single leaf from the Fall weather was dangling in my hair but I never noticed. I kicked my school uniform black shoes off. It was a strict dress code at my school but most of the girls usually found a way to sexy up the look. I walked into the living room but no one was there. "Hello?", I called. Usually Adam and Lizzie would be on the couch watching cartoons or doing some arts and crafts bullsh**. I looked around once more then walked into the kitchen. I crossed my fingers hoping that the Calendar would say "Friday", Adam didn't have to baby sit on Friday. I opened my eye's and looked closely and felt my heart sink. It was Thursday. "Ugh", I muttered to myself. I felt someone touching my hair. I turned around. Adam. He just stood there once again with his incredible poise. He picked up that leaf that was dangling in my hair. "It was in your hair", he said casually then gave me a sly smile. I just nodded and cleared my throat "Where's Lizzie?", I asked quietly.

He locked eye's with me. It was like a stare down contest. I looked away uncomfortably. "Dammit", I thought to myself. I was never really good at competitions. "She's outside playing on the swings. I thought that I would get her a snack.", he said as I moved out of the way for him to look in the fridge. That's when I remembered that I raided the fridge for all the snacks. I quickly moved past him but he turned around just as I was walking behind him. I stumbled backwards. He quickly put his hands on my waist becoming face to face with me. We just started at each other for a brief couple of seconds. My mouth opened to say something then closed. He looked down at my waist. Then removed his tan, sturdy hands off of my body. "Sorry", he muttered then sent me a crooked smile. I nodded slowly, catching my breath. Before I kept walking.

I slowly glanced back over my shoulders before disappearing up to my jail cell. He was staring at me. He noticed that I was looking at him and who could blame a person for staring. He had a beauty unlike no other. And the funny thing was that he knew that he had the looks so he played them up. He smiled at me once more. I didn't know what to do so I gave him my best smile back then slowly walked up the stairs wondering what just happened.

Once I made it up to my room I plopped onto my bed and sat staring at the ceiling. I tried to contemplate every single move and smile that he gave me and tried to see what he was really thinking. Most people we're easy to read but Adam was something else. When he gave me a crooked smile I didn't know if he wanted me to go away or if he was flirting. When he would brush past me and his hand would ever so slightly brush against mine I would remove it like a bolt of lightening struck it but he was so calm about it. He would glance back at me and just smile. I was so confused about him. It had only been a week now but my life had been turned upside down. And it sucked, completely. I barely even spoke to my mom because I was so mad at her for doing this to me. She had no idea what I was going through. But no matter how much I wanted to sulk and complain to her I couldn't. Silent treatment doesn't work if you actually talk to this person. I laughed silently at my last thought and sat up on my bed. I reached for my backpack hoping to find some homework.

'Wow, I really am sad', I said under my breath. You never know how horrible your life is when you want homework. I quickly glanced through but found nothing. 'Ugh', I groaned. Suddenly there was a faint sound of talking from downstairs. I tiptoed to my door and opened it quietly as I went to the stairway railing. Quickly glancing left and right until my mother and Adam came into view. They were chatting and laughing. I leaned in closer but missed my footing causing me to fall on my butt. They both glanced up. I thought that the embarrassing part was over but then I slid down the slippery carpet a couple steps. I could feel myself frozen as I closed my eye's hoping that this was all a bad nightmare. I opened them and they were laughing at me. I crossed my arms over my chest which caused me to slide down even more steps. They both thought that this was even more hilarious. I put on an aggravated face as they kept laughing. My mom had tears in her eye's as Adam just stood motionless watching me very intently now.

I couldn't look away. Just a couple seconds ago he was laughing and now he was fully composed and staring me down. It was as if he were trying to read my thoughts. But my mad face was sure to give me away. After a couple minutes my mom was able to hold her stomach without it giving her intense pain. She looked into my eye's which were still fixed on Adams. "Honey", she began clearing her throat. "Sorry about laughing sweety. But wow have you always been such a klutz. I never even noticed before". "I wonder why", I muttered under my breath, my arms still crossed in front of my chest. "Well anyway's. I'm home early tonight and I thought that I would cook a nice meal and me, you, Adam, and Lizzie. We could all have a nice dinner. I mean we never really got to welcome Adam properly", she turned towards Adam "Is this okay? We'd really love it if you stayed" In my head I was pleading for him to say no. "Sure, sounds great", he said smoothly with a smile then looked back at me before talking to my mother again.

I frowned and sat up making sure not to fall again before I walked slowly back upstairs. I could hear them taking their conversation into the kitchen as she began taking out sauce's and spices. Just when I thought that my life could get even worse. It actually did and it was all her fault. I sat at my desk and looked in the mirror. My hair was a tangled mess so I started brushing it before I noticed a zit starting to form on my forehead. "Ugh", I groaned to myself again. "Another great surprise". I took out my make up bag that I rarely used and got out my cover up stick. Once I applied it I felt a huge stress relief. I looked into the little pink and white polka dotted bag. 'Couldn't hurt', I thought as I picked up some blush and mascara. I was no expert at make up like Vanessa was. Her main goal in life was to give me a make over. Recently I had been thinking of even coming to that just to get out of the house. I carefully took the little brush and swiped it across the pink powder and then across the apples of my cheeks. I smiled at the little extra colour. Then went into applying the mascara so carefully. The last time I tried using it, it was smudged all over my eye's then even got in causing them to have pink eye.

After I applied my make up generously I went to my closet to find something cute to wear. I didn't know what was with me but all of a sudden I wanted to look pretty. "There really is something wrong with me", I said out loud with a true concern in my voice. I started rummaging through my closet when I came across a cute top that my mom got for me when we went to Grandma Fiona's funeral. I smelled it and could swore it still had the scent of the old perfume that she wore. I replaced my plain T-shirt for this top and glanced over to the mirror. With some make up and a new top I looked decent. Maybe even pretty. I shuddered at this thought and decided to log on to the computer to check my email.

I typed my password in and started carelessly browsing through any new emails, it was something to do. I was about to click on one from Vanessa concerning how girls really feel. It was one of those chain mail things. Instead my eye's traveled over to an email from It read:


I know that you don't know me or anything but I think that I've seen you at Long View High school. I used to go there too. But anyway's you seem really cool, and pretty might I add. If you want to write back then do so if not then it's fine. Don't worry I'm not a creeper or a stalker. I'm pretty cool myself. Haha. Anyway's I hope that you will write back.


I read the message over again. Was someone really interested in me? I couldn't believe it but got excited just thinking about it. I was about to write back when I heard my name being called. I quickly ran down the stairs to find Adam setting the table. "Mandy, honey", she poked her head out from the kitchen "Can you please help Adam set up the table then help me bring in the sauces and what not.", she smiled sweetly. "Sure mom", I said silently. I guess the silent treatment didn't work. Not like she noticed anyway's. I went into the kitchen to grab some forks and knives and went to place them at each placemat. I could feel Adam's eye's on me. My face instantly became hot and I felt uncomfortable so I shifted to get out of his view. He came up behind me and said something in his silky voice. "The knife is on the wrong side" I turned around to look at him then looked down at the utensils. I reached my hand to change it but so did he. He got to the knife first and so my hand was laying on top of his. "Sorry", I said quickly as I jolted my hand back suddenly.

He just smiled and went back into the kitchen. I looked back at him and his perfect walk and body. I sighed as I fixed the rest of my mistakes. I leaned against a chair for support as I took a deep breath. I didn't know what to expect at dinner tonight but I could sum it up in a couple words. Awkwardness, staring, and more staring.

Chapter 4

"Mandy, can you please pass the gravy honey? By the way sweety you look beautiful. Your make up looks very pretty and so does that top", I nodded remembering that I had made myself look presentable. I picked up the gravy bowl awkwardly knowing that Adam's eye's were on me. I went to hand the hot bowl to her when it fell causing it to spill all over the rice and the new tablecloth. "Mandy!", my mother yelled. "When have you turned into such a klutz?", she demanded as she dabbed the gravy stain with her napkin. She got up and went into the kitchen. I looked up to find Adam laughing silently to himself at me. It was even more intimidating having him sit across from me. I shot him a dirty look and he just smiled at me. He seemed to have nailed down the perfect crooked grin. I didn't know how to respond to his sly rudeness. I opened my mouth to say something back when my mom walked in again. "Ugh, Mandy you need to be more careful next time. Lately you just have been acting so weird", she said more softly this time. "And your always trapped in that room of yours. What is up with you?" I felt my face grow hot and the blood rush to my cheeks. I looked down in shame. "Adam", she said as she wiped away the rest of the spilt gravy. "Would you mind making sure that Mandy stays out of her room all the time. I'll even pay you more", she laughed. I looked up in shock once again pleading him to say no. "Um, sure?", he laughed his casual laugh.

I shot him an even dirtier look. Was he trying to make my life even worse? I stood up from my chair not knowing what to do or say my hands were clenched in fists so hard that they were turning white. My mouth was tightly closed in a straight line. He just looked up and smiled at me once more. He seemed triumphant that he got the pleasure of seeing me lose to him. 'Ugh', I screamed in my head. my face was turning a mixture of colour's. Red out of anger, pink out of embarrassment, and white because I felt like I was going to faint. I couldn't stand this guy anymore. "Mom", I turned to look at her. "Can I please be excused?", I said rudely. My anger was clearly coming through. She looked at me quickly "Mandy", she warned "Sit back down. I never get to see you. What makes you think that I'm just going to forget this whole incident. I want to see my daughter. Lizzie is an angel. And well lately you've been nothing but trouble." I opened my mouth to protest but gave up quickly knowing that I had lost two battles in one night. What next?

Lizzie looked at me and stuck her tongue out. I narrowed my eye's and glared at her. I sunk back into my seat as my mom cleared the table. Lizzie and Adam made some conversation but his eye's were mostly on me the whole time. It was as if he were trying to read my thoughts. I tried looking away but I could still feel his eye's anymore. I heard my mom go into the washroom. I didn't care if Lizzie heard. "What is your problem?", I asked him "Do you have a staring problem or something?" I crossed my arms in front of my chest. He just smiled a crooked smile and replied swiftly. "I don't. Whenever I look at you, you're staring at me. Do you like me or something?", he asked imitating me. My jaw dropped opened I couldn't close it. I felt tears well up inside. I took a deep breath. Trying to control my temper. I couldn't take it anymore. My mom walked back into the kitchen I stood up and stomped my feet as I walked up the stairs.

I slammed my bedroom door and fell onto my bed. my vision was clouded from tears. 'Ugh. My life sucks!' I screamed in my pillow. But it only came out in muffled words. I tried to compose myself and wiped away my tears as I sat up and picked up the phone. I dialed Vanessa's number with shaky hands. Her mom picked up "Hello", she said in her usual friendly voice. "Hey Mrs. Windham, is Vanessa home?", I said in a more even tone. It was silent for a moment. "No, she's not home right now. She's out with a boy. What's his name..", she began thinking. "Jake", she said. I froze. "Jake..Jake Williams", I stuttered. She replied instantly "Yes that's it!. I sure do hope that he's a good boy. Do you know him well?". "No", I lied. "Oh well when she gets home I'll tell her that you called.", she said politely. "No, it's okay, thanks.", I hung up and sat on my bed as fresh tears began spilling down my cheeks. I curled into a little ball and wrapped my arms around my legs. I rocked back and forth and eventually Fell on my bed. I laid there for what seemed to be eternity.

When I opened my eye's it was morning. The sun was beating down through my window blinds. Outside I could hear birds chirping I looked down at my frozen body. I never got under the blankets. I looked at my alarm clock. It was 9:40. I rested back into my bed thinking that it was Saturday when I realized that it was Friday and I was late for school. I sprang out of bed and quickly got dressed in my school uniform. Last night I had fallen asleep in my clothes and my make up was smudged from all my tears. I looked like a mess but I attempted to brush the rat nest that I called hair then grabbed my books. And ran to catch the bus to school.

When I made it to school it was already second period. I walked in and gave my late slip. Mrs.Kingsly gave me a disappointing glare. I quickly avoided the twenty something pairs of eye's on me as I took my seat next to Vanessa in the back. I didn't even want to look at her but she quickly passed me a note. I read it quickly glancing down and then back up to the board where Mrs.Kingsly was writing about the Civil war. "Mandy! Darling what's wrong? You look so stressed. Or is it depressed? haha. Anyway's. Where do you want to go for lunch today? xoxo Van." I quickly scribbled a reply back to her "Um, I'm just in a really bad mood. I went to call you last night but your mom said that you were with Jake Williams. MY Jake Williams. What was with that?", I glanced over as she read it. Her face grew more tense. " Well he came over and asked me to chill. so please, please don't be mad at me. If you don't want me to hang out with him then I won't but he's super cool. You should come next time. :)", she passed the paper over. I smiled after reading it. "Okay, thanks! That would be utterly awesome. just call me with the deets and I'm there. And lets just go to the cafe. I'm far to lazy this morning after running to catch the bus. And omgsh I need to tell you what happened last night"

Vanessa looked at me and mouthed the words "What happened", she quickly tore a piece of paper from her binder and handed it to me. "Basically. Adam is a jerk. Last night at dinner he wouldn't stop staring at me and then I said something to him and he turned it on me! Saying that I liked him. Ugh. I really don't like him", I slid the paper over to her. She wrote "I think you do like him. and I think that he likes you too. Which is really sad. When two people like each other that much. They should be together. It's tragic really." I laughed outloud after reading what she wrote and the whole class turned around to stare at me. My cheeks turned pink in embarrassment. Mrs. Kingsly looked at me. "Please Miss.Morgan enlighten the class with what was so funny. I'm sure we'd all be so delighted to know.", she glared at me again. " was nothing really. Um..yeah..just remembering something that happened earlier.", I said stammering. "Well then after class you can stay ten minutes and write down this funny incident". I nodded and felt the eye's start to look around the other way.

I sighed. I thought that school was the one place where the stress wouldn't be as high as it was at home. It was also the one place where Adam was not. Or so I thought.

Chapter 5

"Tick tock Tick tock"

The sound of the clock grew more intense each time the tiny, black stick moved an inch. I had been sitting in Mrs.Kingsly's classroom for about seven minutes now. Anxiously waiting for another minute to pass. I looked down at my desk. There was still a blank piece of paper where my "Funny-incident" should of been. I brought my pencil to my lips and started chewing at it. She looked up and hissed at me. "You only have three minutes left. I want to know about this story.", she said as she went back to marking. I quickly jotted down the easiest story that came to my mind. It was about something that my sister did last night that was funny. Lies, all lies. Last night had been anything but funny it had been more excruciating then anything. I mean who did Adam think he was. Some hot shot guy. Yes, he was beautiful. His features and his striking blue eye's took my breath away every time I looked at him. And in this case he thought that I was the one who had a staring problem. I put my pencil down. It was seconds away from this torture chamber to finally being over.

Finally, I was able to leave. I stood up awkwardly and gave the paper to her desk without meeting her glare. I opened the big sturdy wood door and walked outside nervously waiting for Vanessa. I sighted her by the gym talking to Jake. My day couldn't of gotten worse. I walked over to them. Fully aware of the fact that I still looked like a mess. My black collared shirt had a stain on the front. My hair was still tangled and merely brushed. My make up was smudged giving me the Goth look. And my skirt was riding up that it made me look as if I was trying to show my underwear. Vanessa saw me and glanced up and down at me. She defiantly noticed how awful I looked and so did Jake. 'Just great', I thought angrily to myself. "Hey Vanessa..Jake..", I said awkwardly as I tried to join their conversation. I had no clue what they were talking about so I was instantly set aside as the third wheel. I tried to make conversation. "Um..Vanessa. Where are we going for lunch? We don't have much time left. ". She looked over at Jake.

Then back at me. Her face changed. She didn't look like the best friend I had always had. She was wearing too much make up, probably to impress Jake. Her eye's looked a very dark brown. The gold specks were gone. I could barely recognize her if I looked closely. "Actually Mandy. Jake asked me to go out for lunch with him. You don't mind do you?", she smiled sweetly and so did Jake. I couldn't argue with her in front of Jake. I couldn't complain or whine about how she was being such a bad friend. I just slumped my shoulders and gave them both a faint smile. "Yeah it's fine. Go without me. I'll just head to the cafeteria then head to the library to work on my history assignment. Vanessa hugged me quickly before both of them disappeared down the hall. I turned around on my heel and headed for the cafeteria.

It sucked to be alone. Sucked to eat alone. In the classroom you couldn't always be with all of your friends but when lunch time came around it seemed like all the different groups of friends could grab a table and just mingle. I had Vanessa to mingle with. But now that was long gone. I quickly grabbed my lunch and came to the cafeteria doors. Looking for someone familiar to sit with. It felt like everyone was looking at me as I stood at the door looking like a total loser. I kept looking awkward when my eye's traveled on someone familiar. Too familiar. It was Adam. He was standing at the back talking to all the gorgeous Grade twelve jocks. They we're all laughing and acting like old pals. His eye's fell on mine and met my curious and shocked gaze. I blushed furiously. He said something to his friends and walked right up to me. I didn't know what to do or say. But I could feel even more eye's on me now. I tried to look around. All I could hear was whispering and laughing. I figured that it was about me. I bit my bottom lip as he stood in front of me. "Hey", he said as calm as ever. I still didn't know what to do or say. He spoke again. "Do you want to sit with me?", he motioned towards an empty table in the back.

I just nodded, still unable to speak. He lead the way as I followed him. My tray almost fell once or twice, due to my shaky hands. He pulled out my chair for me. I should of smiled and said thank you but I couldn't. He sat down across of me. His hands over-lapping each other. He smiled at me again. He was just so calm and seemed oblivious to my awkwardness. I nervously looked around trying to see if others were staring. They weren't. I felt silly to think that the world revolved around me. Suddenly my head was filled with questions. I wanted to speak to him, more like yell. But that was besides the pointe. "What are you doing here?", I asked him. My lips were pressed tightly together in a straight line. He laughed. "Why wouldn't I be here? I mean your mom is paying me to be your personal baby sitter. And since you like me so much then why not come visit you." I groaned and set my arms crossed in front of my chest. He smiled adorebly. "I'm kidding. Actucally I come here as part of my University course."

I searched in my head for what that meant. I gave him a confused look. "Okay I guess that you can't comprehend that", he laughed his smooth laugh. "It means that I come here and help out with different things and help with the English department. I take a course for english litature. Hoping one day to become a writer.", he smiled smugly. "I actucally used to come to this school . Just last year. So now I love coming here and seeing all my old buddies who are in grade twelve or have come to do a victory lap." I tried to think of places in the school last year that I would of seen him but no image popped into my head. "I aws here last year. So why didn't I see you?", I asked curious. "Probably becuase you were a little grade nine. Your first priority would of been to make as many friends as you could and not get into fights", he chuckled. I shot him a dirty look. "Actucally it was to stay away from abnoxious grade twelves like you". His face grew tense as he looked at me intently. "How old are you?", he asked politely. "Fiftheen"

He stared into my face for a few more moments then smiled "Perfect", he said. I picked up my drink and took a long sip before talking again. "What do you mean perfect?", I asked becoming more annoyed by the second. "Nothing.", he reached in my plate and grabbed a carrot and dipped it in ranch sauce. "So now your stealing my food. You sure like stealing alot don't you?". He looked up and swallowed. "What do you mean? This is the first thing that I've stolen. You can have it back if you want.". He teased. "No thank you.", I muttered. "I mean like I can't even leave my room. You've taken away my life basically. I haven't watched tv in like over a week now becuase you hog the whole downstairs." He laughed even harder now. Some people turned to stare then went back into there conversations. "Are you kidding me Mandy?", I hated the way he said my name. It was like he was saying it just to annoy me. And since he was himself he probably was. "No", I took a bite of my uneaten sandwich. "If you want to live upstairs that's your problem. Not mine. I would love to have you come downstairs but no. You would rather be trapped up there just so you can sulk and complain to your mom."

I would of slapped him right in the face if noone had been watching. His face changed. Becoming calm to compassionate. "Mandy..", he began "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Please forgive me" I felt the tears well up in my eye's. but I choked them down. "Whatever", I muttered loud enough so that he would hear me. He looked down. Clearly he was sad that he had upset me. I continued to eat. Swallowing down my tears. He looked up afer a few minutes. His beautiful blue eye's were now warm towards me. I gasped at how blue they were. I had never seen that colour of eye's before. He smiled and reached his hand towards me. It rested on mine. I instantly wanted to pull away. It was so warm, and big over mine. I could feel every tingle echo throughout my body. I looked into his eye's once more. He muttered something to himself and stood up suddenly. My hand felt cold now that his was now off of mine. He looked into my eye's once more. They we're now full of concern. He walked away. I glanced back at him wondering why he just suddenly left like that. Nothing made sence with him.

But what could with someone that beautiful. I sat through the last ten minutes of lunch wondering what I had done to make him just leave like that. Finally I stood up when I notice that mostly everyone was gone. So much for working on my History project. I threw my half-eaten lunch into the garbage and stalked off down the halls alone to my locker. "28,37,16", I placed into the combination lock that my mom got me from the dollar store. She had been so busy with work that she had no time to get me a good one so she just ran to the dollar store and got me this one. "Ugh", I groaned as I tried to pull it but it got stuck again. "Try shaking it then pull it", a familiar voice said out of nowhere. I turned to look who it was. Adam. I did as he said and finally got it open. "Thanks", I said quietly. He waited as I got my books out. As I walked down the halls he walked beside me. He shorthened his strides to stay at my pace. We walked in silence. Finally I stopped. "Why are you following me?", I asked as I glanced at him and what he was wearing. He looked amazing. Black button down shirt, collar popped of course. It seemed to be his trademark. He had on dark faded jeans and his dark hair made his blue eye's stand out even more. This boy defentially had style.

"Actucally I'm walking you to our class", he said in his silky voice. I winced and stopped in my tracks. "Ours?", I asked making sure I heard right. I held my books tightly to my chest. He just nodded and smiled "I told you. I help out in English class. ", He started walking again. This time I followed him. "So now your in my life in all ways. School, at home, what else?" I said kind of wishing that there was a 'What else'. He smiled and turned to look at me. "You'll see"

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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

sarahkester said...
Oct. 23, 2008 at 8:14 pm
aww! :) thankss guys def. needs editing but hopefully one day it will be published ; ]
Jake Lyon / prettysmile said...
Oct. 18, 2008 at 4:45 am
This is sooo good it should be in stores!!! And if it was I'ld buy it in a heart beat... when I had the money :) Anyway, very well written, few spelling and grammer mistakes but thats why we're here. :)
sarah_laflamme said...
Oct. 17, 2008 at 2:49 am
I thought that this was really well done and I loved the story line. Just needs a little editing, but other than that it was great and should be published.
vicky said...
Oct. 17, 2008 at 12:59 am
sarah; this is great! congrats on this book :) can't wait to read the rest!!!
SarahKester said...
Oct. 16, 2008 at 10:27 pm
aww! thanks guys ; ] lovee y'all
sallysally said...
Oct. 16, 2008 at 6:22 pm
This iss amazingg! :D you rally are an amazing writewr! keep writing pleaseee! i'll defiently vote for this ;)))
ox.Sarahsnumber1fan.xo said...
Oct. 16, 2008 at 9:34 pm
OMG I LOVE IT. keep it up
bob said...
Oct. 16, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Good Job sarah really proud of you keep up the good work
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