I woke up in my bed, earlier than usual, with an intimidating silence in the air. I was slowly drifting back to sleep when suddenly my alarm clock woke me up. That was when I realized…I don’t have an alarm clock. I quickly did a roundhouse kick, knocking the president, holding the alarm clock that startled me, right in the left cheekbone.

“I have a mission for you,” whispered the president.

“Sorry Mr. President, but your too late. I already have a destiny for today,” I exclaimed.

“Oh…ok,” he muttered. He quickly strapped on the jetpack he had been hiding behind his back and flew away. I quickly but silently put on my bulletproof vest and headed off for work. I had a finite amount of time to make it from my house to the headquarters. I soon as my feet hit the ground from jumping off the deck I sprinted as swiftly as I could.

More rapidly than you could say stroganoff, an orangutan, fitly dressed in a nice tux, warped out of his time portal and attacked me. Instinctively I pulled out my mace and fought to the death. To my devastation, I lost.

I woke up, adjacent to a blazing, hot fire. I quickly pulled out my last mushroom and grew, breaking the chains that were binding me to the ground. With my last wit, I pulled out my shining star. Hip-hop/dance music played distracting my foes, leaving me with an open range. With great power, I assaulted all my enemies. Unfortunately, at the last turtle creature, my music stopped, ending my distraction and causing the creature to fight back. Once again, I had lost. I am…Mario.