The First

October 2, 2008
"You honestly thought this would last? This, this...nightmare?!" she yelled, tears in her eyes and staining her cheeks. "Ana please just calm down. You can't possibly be thinking clearly, and-"he began, but she cut him off. "I'm not thinking clearly? You went behind my back, told me lie after lie, tore me apart, and I'm not thinking clearly?!" she screamed at him. Her hands were curled into tight fists, as though ready to pounce. Her eyes were red rimmed, tears blurring her vision. He tried to step forward to hug her but she stepped away quickly. "I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't thinking straight, I don't know what was going through my head. You weren't supposed to find out and...I'm really sorry." He whispered, looking down as he spoke. He seemed calm considering the situation at hand. She stepped up to him, her teeth clenched together and her hands still at her sides. "Sorry isn't good enough." she whispered harshly. Then she took a shuddering breath and began again. "You can't expect that to work for everything, and it won't work now. I guess I'm sorry too. Sorry I let myself go so far and believe so much. But I won't anymore. Goodbye, Marcus." She turned and left, leaving him behind. He watched her go in disbelief. She was the first girl to leave him.

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Rho said...
Oct. 8, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Very intense. Consider adding on. Build characters to allow audience empathy
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