Complete Greatness

September 29, 2008
By Anonymous

It was a beautiful evening. The sun was just beginning to set as we headed off to Sonic. Sonic was the best restaurant in the United States. When we get there, we knew exactly what we wanted, because we go their maybe 3-4 times a day. When we got our food, it so happened a couple to the left of us were making out in the car. At that very moment, we started annihilating them with a mixture of random things, such as tator tots, gum, wrappers, peppermints, and so on. When we finally got out of there, they had no idea what had hit them!

We were on our way to the lake, in Mountain Home. There were 5 of us me, Samson, John, Bufe, and Bill, our 3-point stance coach, who was driving. Bufe was the funniest person in the world. He could make a dead person laugh. So, we were just driving along when we saw this godly light from the heavens come down on one beautiful keg….full of Mug’s Root Beer. Right then and there we were called to come have a chug contest in front of millions of people in the Roman Coliseum. But first, we needed to call Phil to pick us up. When he got there, Bill and Phil made us get on there backs, they got in a 3 point stance and exploded of the O-Line. We got to the Roman Coliseum REAL FAST! When we walked in, the ground was shaking and the crowd was thundering, shouting, “WE WANT ROOT BEER!!”

This place was going crazy! They had the No. 1 Home crowd in the world!

Then someone shouted, “GOOOO!!!!!!”
The chugging began. It was in marvelous time that I finished my 2 Liter, 4.23 seconds. Coming in second with a grand 4.89 seconds is….BUFU FERGUSON!!! Samson, then just started laughing and threw up, the crowd stormed onto the perfectly patted down dirt, throwing all 3 of us into the air, shouting, “WE WANT MORE, WE WANT MORE!”

This event soon came to an end, leaving everybody happy with tears of craziness. This play was on every sports network mainly, ESPN 8 “The Ocho”, for many years to come. They called it “Complete Greatness”.

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