Leave the Pieces When You Go

September 16, 2008
By Ceara Bourquin, Maricopa, AZ

Have you ever felt like the world is an evil place, only keeping you there to put you through misery? Or felt like the world just flew off its axis and crashed into oblivion? When you lose something or someone close and meaningful to you, that's exactly how you feel. The sky and ground seem closer, squeezing in on you, suffocating you. The air gets knocked out of you and your brain hibernates, forgetting how to function. That alone feeling seeps into your blood and into your heart.

So here I am. Standing in the middle of St. Joseph's Graveyard, the rain pouring around me and drenching my black turtleneck dress and blonde hair. A headstone stuck in the puddle, grassy ground, rain falling off it like the tears that I was shedding in the storm. The moon lit my pale, sunken face and glistened off my dead indigo eyes. The wind raged behind me, sending strays of hair to cling to the dampness of my skin.

I still didn't believe what the doctor had said to me just a mere hour ago.
"We tried our hardest to help him through the treatment, but we couldn't save him in time. I'm sorry." I still didn't understand the truth of it even after the funeral. Which is why I'm here now, staring down at my fiancé's grave.

Here lies BRAEDON CALLY Beloved Son and Fiancé

I heard the roll of the thunder and the flash of lightning but I never swayed away. My eyes are like broken dams that send every tear cascading down my soaking cheeks. My legs turn into jell-o as I finally realize I would never see him again. Those warm honey colored eyes and that big bright smile that he always carried with him. The cute button nose and the small dimples placed upon his cheeks when he laughed. It all seemed to vanish in the pouring rain as quickly as the memories floated in my head.

My knees hit the ground and my hands met my face. Tears could no longer come from my eyes as I'd dried them out. A shadow rose beside me and a hand sat on my shoulder softly, helping me up from the muddy dirt. Once I was on my feet again, I felt the person release their hold on me, only to fall again. The person instantly caught me before I hit the ground. They swung my thin, fragile body around and carries me away bridal style. I don't remember when I blacked-out, but it felt like the best relief in the world.

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