The one bad voice.

May 7, 2013
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He yelled and slammed the door. She realized that she lost him, forever. The only thought in her head;why did he leave? when will he come back? she reassured herself he would be home soon, but that numbing voice in the back of her head said, “Nope, he won’t come back it’s YOUR fault he left, you made it happen. He never loved you, in fact that’s why he won’t come back, he hates you, you did it. You made him leave.”
The hateful words replayed and replayed over and over again. Her eyes swelling up with tears, every time he popped in her head , she’d cry harder. Somebody knocked on her door, she prayed and prayed it was him, but it wasn’t. Her heart drooped and sank to the bottom of her stomach. The voice with a hateful hiss said “ you’re stupid! I told you! did I not?” The tears fell down her face like a waterfall. Her heart felt empty without him it was a bottomless pit. She realized she had nothing left. Screaming now the voice had returned “ you STUPID,STUPID,STUPID, worthless being, i told you but yet you choose not listen.” minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days, days felt like months and so on. she dreamt of him bursting through the door, holding her telling her how sorry he is. All she could do is dream. She didn’t know what to do with herself, she ran out of reasons to cry. She knew he was gone forever, he won't come back and that the voice was right. The voice knew she wouldn’t stop these obsessive thoughts. he told her very calmly what to do and how to do it, but she didn't understand. the voice kept saying “ just do it. put an end to this.” She wouldn’t even think about doing what the voice said. She couldn’t. The thought raced through her mind every day, every night, every second of every minute. “ Your stupid, why don’t you just do it! Goddammit just do it! Stop being so f*ing weak!!” The voice hissed. She couldn’t take it anymore. She went to the store as the voice said. The voice was never more pleased with her. He slowly whispered the three words “ Buy...... The..... Razors”. When she arrived home, she drew a bath; took her clothes off. “ For the first time you're doing something right hahaha.” the voice giggled. She slowly stepped in the warm water, crying, thinking, wishing. Wanting it all to be over, she grabs the razor sliding it from the top of her wrist all the way from the top to the bottom letting the blood drip down into the water pouring, and squirting out of her body. Thinking nobody would miss her, she was wrong. He came back to find her dead, bloody and cold.

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