The Adventures of Captain Simon and Paul the Panda: The Doughnut

April 8, 2013
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The bus driver had just left. Captain Simon and Paul waited a few minutes until the lights shut off. Then they swung their way over to their magical fan, cut their sting, and started another adventure. Captain Simon pulled out his screw driver from his pirate hat and unscrewed the fan from the bus’ roof, while Paul jumped down onto the dash board to turn the fan on. Paul found the switch and flipped it on. “Hey!” Captain Simon said, not having completely unscrewed the last screw, “What are you trying to do? Kill me?” Paul responded with his usual sarcastic tone, “And what if you were to fall, you’re made of rubber. You’ll bounce.” “So,” Captain Simon said, with an equal amount of sarcasm, “What if there was something sharp on the steps below me?” “And the chances of a kid to randomly drop a nail are... let’s see… one in… a gazillion trillion!” Paul responded, rolling his eyes. “That isn’t even a real number, Paul.” Captain Simon said, with an edge of irritation. Paul was tied of Captain Simon’s shenanigans now, “Oh, just be quiet and unscrew the final screw.” “I would,” Captain Simon said, “But I am currently busy trying to keep myself from plummeting… a gazillion trillion feet!” “Oh, be quiet,” Paul said as he flipped the switch off.

Just as Captain Simon was about to finish the last screw, he gave Paul the signal, and Paul readied himself at the switch. Once the fan started to fall towards the ground, Paul hit the switch. The fan turned on, and it began to hover above the ground. Captain Simon leaped of the dash board onto the fan and guided it down the aisle. “Hey!” Paul shouted at Captain Simon, “Aren’t you forgetting something?” “No…” Captain Simon said, not bothering to look at back at Paul, “I don’t think so.” “Hardy, Har, Har,” Paul laughed, “Seriously, get over here.” Captain Simon turned the fan around and hovered back over the dash board. “No wonder my ship was so silent,” he said as he pulled up so Paul could jump on. Paul ignored Captain Simon’s last remark.
As the duo wove under and above the seats, Paul noticed a white bag in one of the seats. “Captain, I’ve spotted the island with the buried treasure.” Paul said from his perch above Captain Simon. “Where is it first mate?” Captain Simon asked Paul. “Over on Duct Tape Isle,” Paul replied, pointing to the seat with the most duct tape on it used to repair the numerous rips in the seat. Captain Simon steered the fan towards the seat and docked it next to the seat. Captain Simon left the fan, just to be pounced on by Paul. Captain Simon let out a squeak. “What was that for?” he asked Paul as he picked himself up. “Sorry, didn’t see you,” Paul remarked, obviously lying.
Both of them turned around to face the giant white bag. Now that they could see the bag in its entirety, they noticed it wasn’t just white. It had bright pink and orange colors on it. Paul went over to the bag and climbed to the top, while Captain Simon went over the back side of the bag. “Paul,” Captain Simon began to ask, “This bag belongs to some landlubber named ‘Zak K.’”. “Don’t know him,” Paul said, “And by the looks of it, this ‘Zak’ kid won’t need its contents. Hey Captain, where is ‘Dunkin’ Donits’?”
Captain Simon glared up at Paul, “What?” he asked Paul. Paul looked down at Captain Simon, momentarily pausing the shredding of the bag, “‘Dunkin’ Donits’,” he said. “Say that word again,” Captain Simon told Paul. Paul began to start shredding the bag again, “Dunkin,” he said. “No, no, no. The second word,” Captain Simon said. “Doughnit,” Paul said. “That’s not how you say it,” Captain Simon said was Paul pulled out the bag’s contents, “It’s a doughNUT.” “No, it’s a doughNIT,” Paul said as he held up the chocolate frosted doughnut. “No,” Captain Simon corrected Paul, “It’s DoughNUT.”
Paul was getting irritated with Captain Simon. He ripped a piece of the doughnut off. “Would you like some of the treasure, Captain?” Paul asked Captain Simon. “Sure, why not. I am captain after all,” Captain Simon said. “Hey, it’s not all your ability. If I wasn’t in the crow’s nest, we never would have gotten this doughnit,” Paul said. “Stop saying doughnut that way,” Captain Simon said. Paul glared at Captain Simon, lifted his paw up, and chucked the piece of doughnut at Captain Simon.
Now the fight had begun. Captain Simon jumped up onto the bag and tackled Paul. They were battling it out when Paul noticed the bus driver coming back. “Quick,” he told Captain Simon, “The bus driver is coming back!” “Sure,” Captain Simon said, “You’re just saying that to get me to stop beating you.” The driver entered the building and a light turned on. Captain Simon turned around and saw the light. “Quick,” he said, “We need to take this treasure back with us.” The two of them carried the doughnut to the fan and quickly flew to the dash board. Captain Simon dropped Paul off at the switch, and then headed to the screws. Captain Simon grabbed the screws and flew the fan back up to the holes in the roof. He took out his screwdriver and began to screw the fan back in place. Once one of the screws was in, Paul shut of the fan and grabbed the string that was on the dash board.
The bus driver walked out of the building and started towards the bus. Captain Simon just finished screwing the last screw in as Paul got to their spot with the string. They quickly tied the rope around themselves, and remained still as the bus driver opened the door. She looked around the bus, found what she was looking for, and left. She got into her car, and drove away. Once the taillights were out of sight, Captain Simon and Paul looked at each other. Paul reached up and took the lid off of the first aid kit, and pulled out the doughnut. “It’s still pronounced doughNIT,” he told Captain Simon.

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