The Adventures of Captain Simon and Paul the Panda: The Bungee Cord This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

April 11, 2013
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There was something new on the bus. Captain Simon and Paul looked at it with curiosity. It was a long, red cord. The bus driver had just gotten that strange cord to hold the door shut. Now Captain Simon and Paul wanted to know what it did. They got down from their string, started the fan, and flew over to the new object. “What happens if we unhinge it?” Paul asked. “What? Are you scared of this cord?” Captain Simon mocked Paul. “No!” Paul exclaimed, “I’m just… um… concerned, for our safety.” The duo turned to the red cord. They flew to one end of it and unlatched it.

The loose end of the cord fell to the ground. Captain Simon unlatched the second end and held onto it. “Here,” he said to Paul, “Hold this.” Paul held onto the one end of the cord, nervously. “What about the other end?” he asked Captain Simon. “It should just drag along the ground like any other string or cord will,” he said as he flew down the aisle. Paul glanced back at the loose end of the cord. He turned back to Captain Simon. “What are we going to do with it?” he asked. “Well,” Captain Simon began to think.
But he didn’t have time to answer Paul. Paul flew out of the crow’s nest and back down the aisle, back towards the door. The cord’s loose end had hooked on one of the stairs and had been stretched this entire time. Paul began bouncing down the aisle. Captain Simon turned around and began to hover back down the aisle towards the door. Paul lay on the bottom step, tangled in the red cord. “I was concerned,” Paul said, “But Mister ‘It’s not dangerous’ said I shouldn’t worry. ‘No, it’ll be safe’ he said.” “If you aren’t dead, you fine. As I heard some kid on the bus say, ‘If your still breathing, heart beatin’, life is good’.” “We’re made of rubber,” Paul said, “I don’t think we have lungs, none the less a beating heart.”
The duo stood on the top step, staring at the pile of red cord on the bottom step. “What exactly happened?” Captain Simon asked Paul. “Well,” Paul began, “It… hold on. Let me test my theory.” Paul then instructed Captain Simon to grab the cord and hook it between two seat supports bolted to the floor. Paul then dumpster dived into the black trashcan at the front of the bus. He pulled out some scraps of balled up paper. He walked over to Captain Simon and dumped all the paper in the floor next to the cord. “Here’s my idea,” Paul said, “I think this is some strange cord with a weird elasticity in it. When it got hooked while I was holding it, I was able to pull it some good distance before it snapped me back. So, if I’m right…”
Paul grabbed one of the balls of paper, and placed it into the cord. “If I’m right,” he repeated. He pulled the paper back, along with the cord. He stretched the cord as far as he could, and let go. The paper ball flew through the air as the cord snapped forward. The paper ball then bounced of the front of the dash board and back into the trashcan from which it came. “First try!” Paul exclaimed in victory, “Beat that, Captain!” Paul looked around for Captain Simon. He saw him lying on the floor a few feet in front of the now lax cord. “Felt the bite of the beast?” Paul asked the Captain. “If that was his bite,” Captain Simon began as he sat up, “Then I bet yours was just a nip at the finger.” “I don’t have any finger,” Paul said sarcastically.
Captain Simon got up and turned towards the trashcan. “I want to give it a go,” he said, “I bet I could…” But Paul cut him short. “Um, Captain… are you okay?” he asked. “I feel fine, well, now that you mention it, my head does feel funny,” the Captain responded. In fact, Captain Simon’s head had a dent in it because of the cord. Paul ran over to the Captain and flipped him over onto his side. “Hey! What are you doing?!” the Captain yelled. “I’m helping you, that’s what,” Paul said, “Hold on, this might tickle, or hurt, one of the two.”
Paul placed his mouth over the Captain’s belly button, and began to blow as hard as he could into it. Slowly, the dent in the Captain’s head began to shrink, until it was nonexistent. Paul sat in the floor and gasped for air. “What’s the matter?” Captain Simon asked as he sat up, “You aren’t purple, so you must still have a lot of air in your lungs left.” Paul held up two fingers and said, “Two things. One, rubber doesn’t change color, so it is impossible for me to turn purple. Two, as I said before, I don’t think we have lungs.” “Hey smarty,” Captain Simon retorted, “What are those things you’re holding up there, on your paw? What are those?”
Paul looked down at his paw. He knew Captain Simon had snagged him, so he rolled his eyes and answered, “Okay, these may be fingers. I know humans have them, but I’m not sure if they are still called fingers on an animal. Fine, we have fingers, but not lungs.” Paul got up and grabbed Captain Simon’s shoulders. “I need you to do something,” he told the captain. “What now?” Captain Simon said with a sigh. “Stand here,” Paul commanded Captain Simon. “In front of that monster of a cord, no way!” Captain Simon exclaimed. “Just do it,” Paul pressured him, “It’ll be fun.”
Reluctantly, Captain Simon wrapped the cord halfway around his waist. “Now begin to walk backwards,” Paul gave the second command. Captain Simon then understood what Paul was trying to do, and began to move backwards with growing enthusiasm. “I can’t move back any more,” he told Paul. “Let me help you then,” Paul offered assistance. Paul grabbed Captain Simon’s shoulders and began to pull. “That’s it,” he told Captain Simon, “I’ve given it my all too. Now tell me where to aim, I can’t he past your big head.” “It’s not like yours is any smaller,” Captain Simon replied, “Now move left… a little bit more… THERE!”
Paul let go of Captain Simon. Captain Simon tumbled through the air, yelling as if he were on a roller coaster. Paul leaned forward in anticipation. Captain Simon landed right in the trashcan. “YES!” Paul exclaimed with his chubby arms thrust into the air as he ran in circles. “The amazing Paul has done it again folks,” he spoke to an imaginary crowd, “He has won the game by making a shot never seen in history. He has gotten…” Paul thought for a moment, “A gazillion trillion points with this new and stunning shot!”
“It was stunning alright,” Captain Simon said as he pulled himself out of the trash can. He teetered on the edge for a while, before falling flat on his face onto the floor. Paul couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Stunning to me, that is,” Captain Simon said as he picked himself up, “I think it did more than stun me too. I… I think it, like, literally knocked my socks off.” “You aren’t wearing socks,” Paul said. Captain Simon looked down. “Oh, I guess you’re…” Captain Simon quickly caught himself, “It’s a figure of speech! I didn’t mean it literally.” “Well then, why did you say…?”
Paul was cut short by Captain Simon. “Ah, be quiet! That shenanigan made me lose my marbles.” “What marbles?” Paul asked, “I didn’t know you even had pockets to hold marbles in.” “Be quiet!” Captain Simon repeated. “By the way, gazillion trillion isn’t a real number.” “You always tell me that, dream crusher,” Paul said. Captain Simon glared at Paul. Suddenly he had a smirk on his face. “What’s that for?” Paul asked. Captain Simon began to chuckle, “At least I don’t talk to imaginary things, like someone I know.”

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