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World to Me
There was no love I could remember but you, for you are the one who taught me such a feeling. Before , my sight was always bland, only black , grays and whites. But when I saw you I would see a beam of light radiate as you smiled down at me. When I small my mom told me only the fortunate are able to find that person to stay by, for that is what we all want.
You found me at my lowest and weakest. I was young and foolish and decided to run off without a care. You could’ve passed by like all the others , “ How stupid .” All the others said as they walked on by. The silence hurt the most .. Maybe to that individual I was not even worth the insult. Some gave me food to make it and others left a trinket or two. Though not once did they ever consider doing more. I was content with this, for the kindness I received was enough. So with a smile I thanked them and went on my way.
Everything changed when fate brought us together. You picked me off of my feet and took me in. You stroked my hair and everyday I looked forward to when you would get home. When you walked through the door I couldn’t help but jump and give you a huge kiss. Perhaps that is silly , but to me it always felt like you were gone for a million years.
We did everything together.. Watch movies on the couch , throw a Frisbee around the park , and take long car rides. I remember you used to laugh when I liked feeling the cool spring breeze and letting my hair blow in the wind.
Those happy days became a distant memory as time went by because beneath the surface you were hurting.
I couldn’t see it , or maybe I just didn’t want to . Sadness engulfed the house when the days got shorter. The welcome backs were more rushed as you dragged yourself to the bed. All the things we did slowly started to disappear. Even our meals together became scarce as you stayed in bed all day. All of your friends never came by like they used to, the phone always rang but was never answered, and the darkness was vast.
I tried everything to cheer him up.
When he was sad I was sad and when he was happy I was happy. That’s just the way things were for us.
On this certain morning I felt the depression crushing my chest .. The house was too quiet and it was much too late. Usually he was enjoying his coffee and walking out the door by now. I went to check on him where he still rested on the bed. The room had a rotten stench that stung in my nostrils and the scent of alcohol lingered near. I walked slowly to his side of the bed where his arm hung off edge. The empty bottles sat on the night stand and pills were spilled on the floor. I grabbed his hand and yelled at him. “Wake up! You’re late for work!.. Wake up!! Wake up!!! Please!!!!!!!”
No movement or signs of life. I panicked and started screaming and pulling his arm more and shaking him. It wasn’t possible! He has to be okay ! I ran out the room and paced as I screamed and cried without any control. It was all coming out and it felt as if my body was falling apart. It felt as if hours went by of me screaming endlessly till I heard the doorbell ring. I went to the door sobbing to get help but I couldn’t seem to open the door. I was shaking too much and the man at the door yelled “ Is anybody there?? Hello?”
“Couldn’t he hear me ??”, I asked myself. I kept screaming hoping he would understand . “ Jonathan ! I’m going in !”
He opened the door and grabbed my cheeks and said in a gentle voice “ What’s wrong Macey?”
I led him to the room where he checked his pulse and grabbed the cell phone. “ Hello 911! My friend isn’t breathing and we need a ambulance now!! I don’t know when.. Okay thanks.”
The sirens rang and a bunch of strange men came to check .The tall man with thick black hair looked around the room “ It looks as if he has been deceased since earlier this morning or last night. No foul play was involved ,” another man wrote this down on a notepad. The dark haired man continued “ No forced entry or signs of any struggle and we found the note. This case is pretty much closed .” He pointed to the other man saying “I’m going to have to ask you a few questions.” The other man wiped his face and with a trembling voice said “ Okay ..” The cop asked “ What made you arrive at the residence and at what time?” The man paused trembling more “ I was home for my lunch shift grabbing my stuff when I heard a loud noise..”
“What was the loud noise?” the cop asked.
“It was the dog barking loudly.. almost howling. The dog almost never barks especially not like she was earlier.. And I haven’t , I mean hadn’t seen Jonathan for a few days .”
The cop wrote some more saying “ So it was the dog who got your attention ?”
“Yes but I wasn’t expecting this.. I thought he just had been sick for the past few days or somethin’” The cop interrupted patting the neighbor on the back “That’s all I need to know. I’m sorry there was nothing you could’ve done but thank you for reporting .”
No one looked at me because to them I was just a dumb animal. No one knew how much I really cared for him. He was my world to me .. My sun , stars, and the reason I even existed.
He was my best friend that I would do anything for..
The men stayed at the scene a little while longer calling family and taking Jonathan’s body away. When they turned they saw a golden dog lean her head on the bed where her loved passed on and she was whimpering. The officer knew that she was crying because when you love someone deeply the loss is even greater. And to a dog losing a friend was the most tragic event, reality shattering , and heart breaking to the fullest extent.
Most think dogs don’t have feelings or a awareness for deeper things in life, but they are wrong.
Dogs never forget ..
They never completely stop grieving.
They are the only ones who know the true meaning of devotion and love.
Also they are always the first to give a person a chance.
That afternoon the officer and pet the dog saying “ It’s okay Macey , he’s happily in heaven waiting for you. I’m sure he just wants you to be happy .. He’ll see you someday so don’t worry.” The dog licked him and he took the dog home where she lived out the rest of her days happily. She had many children to play with and was loved by everyone. Her life was perfect and the officer became part of her world.
She never forgot Jonathan though.
She looked forward to seeing him someday ..
But for now she enjoying the moment with the officer and his family, who she loved with all her heart.
Throwing the frisbee around and watching movies just as she did before..