Malefaction, Transgression, and Self-Condemnation

September 1, 2008
Guilt is eating away at me like termites eat away at the flesh of an old abandoned house. This fiery feeling is passing through me like a freight train passes through a cold, dark tunnel on a winter night. I feel like my ears are being flooded with the sound of none stop advice and it's like the many structures that were flooded by the unsteady levees in New Orleans. My mind is spinning and tossing and turning like a level 5 tornado. I can feel my insides breaking apart like a bulldozer breaks down a no longer needed structure. I feel as though I'm a hypocrite living in an unforgiving world. But when I start to tell her the truth about how I took away the person that she once had love for, my tongue gets paralyzed like when a safari hunter shoots a wild beast with a tranquilizer gun. I ask myself many times why I keep this secret so tightly wound up....the truth is I don't have an answer and maybe that's why this feeling of guilt won't leave my forsaken mind.

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