April 14, 2008
By Casey Whieldon, Severn, MD

(A brightly-lit stage with a giant flourescent sign that says "The Amazing Casey.")
(Cages with lions in them hang over the satge. A man on fire walks by)
(Casey is raised up through the floor, he begins to sing unenthusiastically, sighing occasionally)
Once, a very long time ago
I met a wizard on the side of the road
We spoke a bit and he shook his wand
I think his name was Mike or Don
Anyway, he cast some spell
And he told me not to ever tell
But he died last week, so now I'm free
To tell the world of my apathy

(Aretha Franklin is lowered from the celiling by wires. She wears angel wings and a black sequin gown. she harmonizes with the music beautifully)
I don't care about anything
My agent is forcing me to sing
He says this woman in the background
Will accent my voice, make it better

When I went home that magic day
I saw my mom and she said, "hey
Casey, what do you want for dinner?"
I told her that I didn't much care
If it was uncooked duck or barbecued hair
Every possible choice seemed like a winner
Or maybe a loser, I'm not sure what the difference is

(repeat chorus twice again)
(fantastic spectacle os dancers and clowns as Carlos Santana plays the world's greatest guitar solo and then the ghost of Jimi Hendrix comes out and lights the guitar on fire)
(Casey sneezes into his hands and then cleans them with hand sanitizer)
(Casey wipes his wet hands on jean pockets)
(Casey is lifted up in the air by wires)
(Chorus once more)
(Casey looks like he's fallen asleep in midair)
(Curtains close as flowers are thrown by the audience)

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