Get the Message

March 6, 2008
“Hey. It’s Liz. Please leave a message.” BEEP! “Um, Liz? We really need to talk. In person. Not on an answering machine.”

“You have reached 555-555-1234 If this is the correct number, please leave a message.” BEEP! “Liz, I know I have the right number. Come on, it’s really important. Please call me back.”

“Hey…” “Liz! Finally!” “What’s up?” “I need to ask you something really important.” “Yeah, I’ve just been hanging out.” Then I heard static over the phone. “I think the line is breaking-” More static. BEEP! That’s when I realized I was talking to an answering machine.

“Wait for it…Wait for it…”BEEP! “Look, I can’t wait any more. Are you doing anything this Friday? Maybe we could meet up. Call me back.”

“We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz! Yeah, that’s why I’m not here right now. So, leave a message.” BEEP! “Liz? Is that a yes?” I wanted to say something more, but somehow I couldn’t find the words. I finally just hung up.

“I’m not here right now. Well, duh. Hang up now if you’re not going to leave a message ‘cause I hate blank voicemail. Alright, here’s the beep.” BEEP! “So what movie? Please call me.”

“Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I will get back to you as soon as possible.” BEEP! “Liz, come on. You know my number.” Then I snapped my cell phone shut, although slamming down a phone on the receiver would have been much more satisfying.

“Sorry, if you haven’t been able to reach me. I’m away, but you can call me at 555-555-1235.” I dialed that number. “Hello. This is not the person you were trying to call. You’ve reached the rejection hotline.” By then, I was sick of recordings. I was the one with no voicemail, but I got the message.

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