Dumbo, The Freakishly Larged Ear Girl

August 14, 2008
By Anonymous

“Pssttt. Andrea, are you awake?” whispered Katrina.

“Mmmmm….well I am now. What do you want?” Andrea groggily replied.

“What do you think of my ears?” Katrina asked seriously. Andrea bolted right out of bed, slinging the covers down as she sat up.

“What in the world?” Andrea said, sounding confused.

“What do you think of my ears?” Katrina repeated.

“They look alright to me, replied Andrea.

“Is that all?” sternness filled Katrina’s voice.

“I really like your ear rings. Dolphins are my favorite water creature,” sassed Andrea.

Katrina hopped off her bed, stormed over to Katrina’s bunk, and started shaking her vigorously. “Oh my gosh! Are you really that stupid? Haven’t you noticed the size of my ears?” yelled Katrina.

“ No……,” said Andrea with a sweet fake innocent smiling, lighting up the entire dorm room.

“Listen up,” Katrina impatiently stated. “Here’s the deal. Back in my hometown I’m known as Dumbo, the girl with the freakishly huge ears. My whole family teases me about them and my friends crack jokes left and right. Some women love their Double D Tatas, while I love my big hooter sized ears.

That’s lovely,” awkwardness filled the room as Andrea spoke.

“I’m not done yet. Stop interrupting me, said Katrina sounding irritated.

“Okay, okay Doc, keep your shirt on. You may continue.”

“Thank you,” Katrina said smugly. “Now where was I? Katrina paused for a brief second, trying to remember, and then picked back up where she left off. “ I came to camp expecting everyone to drop dead and start rolling on the floor laughing at the sight of my humongo ears. So far, no one has. Not even one peep has slipped out of even the slightest cracks in all the camper’s mouths. It’s strange to show up at Duke and have not a soul staring at me strangely. I’m use to it, and it’s fine by me. I actually feel like no one likes me since I’m not getting teased.”

“Katrina, babe, I think you are the idiot amongst us. Don’t you know anything?” Andrea said, laughing to herself.

“Me, the stupid one?”

“Oh wait, hold up. Have you ever met another writer before?” asked Andrea.

“No, I live out in the sticks with Hicks and Cow Polk. If they head the word simile, they would probably end up thinking it was a pig call, and go around yelling “ Here simile” instead of “Soue!”, Katrina said.

“You aren’t stupid then. You are just shaded from the outside world of booze, sex, and plastic surgery. You are so innocent, it’s cute, and annoying at the same time.” Andrea replied. “The thing is all authors are born with gigantic “tata” ears, like yours. We all had them at one time, but the rest of us had the common sense to get plastic ear surgery. That’s why no one has teased you about them. We were all born with the monstrous curse of abnormally, freakishly large ears.”

“Ohhh…okay. I gotcha,” genuine awe filled Katrina’s voice. Then in that case I need to make an appointment with an surgeon right away.

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