The Animal I have Become

August 12, 2008
So what if you can see,
This animal I have become.

Spare me from the mirrors, anything which allows me to see my own reflection. I don't need any more reminders, can't stand to see what has befallen me. I refuse to; nothing could drag it out of me. Self destruction is not the better path, only more convenient.

Cold, grayish brick walls surround me on all sides, as I twist my locker combination. 14-22-15? No. A little bead of sweat trickles down my forehead. What if I can't get it open? 13-24-25? Nope. I begin to grind together my knuckles, deeply lost in thought. 15-22-27! I pull up, and the locker reluctantly opens. Yet, my victory is cut short.

Somebody get me through this nightmare,
I can't control myself!

"Sean, 'sup man?" Jared casually calls from across the hall, flipping his head, attempting to shake the blonde hair from his eyes.

Am I covered? Good god, I don't want him to look into my eyes. With a few "excuse me"'s, he charges against surging hallway traffic, only knocking into a few people.
Florescent lights beat down above us, his purple and white Reeboks, pumping closer and closer. I lower my gaze to the shiny, tiled floor. He's so close, I can even hear his breath, and see his pale, hairy legs.

"Nothing much." I whisper, wrestling a weak smile onto my face, turning my head, letting coppery brown eyes rest on a poster.

"You sure man?" He asks, reaching out a hand to touch my shoulder.

Jerking back, I mutter something reassuring under my breath, and dart down the hallway. Inspirational posters jeer at me from the way, daring me take a claw, and rip them to shreds.

This is the animal I have become.





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