The Potato Alliance

March 28, 2008
By Riley Wilson, Woods Cross, UT

It started out as a regular warm sunny day at the Brown farm. It was that time of year when farmer Brown picks all of the potatoes. The farmer knew that the ground where he plants his potatoes used to be a military nuclear weapons testing site about 50 years ago but the potatoes have always tasted fine and there was nothing wrong with them.

So farmer Brown was outside picking potatoes and putting them in a big basket. As he was filling the bucket he heard some rustling in a bush, so the farmer stood up and walked over to the bush and saw nothing, as he walked back to the bucket he noticed that all of the potatoes were gone. How strange he thought. 50 potatoes all disappearing at once.

He looked around and thought it was some kids doing a prank or an animal that stole the potatoes, but didn’t see anything. He turns around again and sees what he thought was a potato running under his truck. He ran over and looked under the truck and saw nothing. The farmer began to get mad. He turned around and saw hundreds of potatoes charging at him.

The farmer didn’t know what to think so he just stood there, then they all jumped on him as he fell to the ground, then he noticed he was being held down by hundreds of potatoes. The potatoes were like humans, they all had 2 legs, 2 arms, A face, Hair, And even clothes!

Then one little potato walked on top of his chest. As the farmer looks up and asks “What are you?” Then the potato reply’s by saying “My name is Philip, I am the leader of the Potato alliance” “The what?” Farmer brown asked. “The potato alliance!” “What do you want from me?” asks the farmer. “Freedom!” Shouts the potato “We are tired of you taking our people and skinning us then eating our remains!” The farmer laughed. “And what makes you think you can stop us from eating potatoes?” Then Philip pulled out a tiny little pistol about the size of a quarter and said “If you don’t give us our freedom then I will have to dispose of you, pathetic human.” As Philip holds the little gun to the farmer’s head.

“What am I supposed to do to give you freedom?” “You will drive us all to the land of Washington D.C.” “What?!!” Yelled the farmer “Do you know that we are in New Mexico?” “Yes and your point?” Asked Philip. “I am not driving you all to Washington D.C.” “Well that’s to bad, I guess I’ll have to kill you.” “NO! ….. Ok I’ll drive you there” “Good” said the potato. Everyone into the truck! Shouted the potato.

The farmer walked over to the truck, opened to door, And sat down in the old pickup. He looked into his rearview mirror and saw a huge pile of potatoes in the bed of the truck then he looked over and noticed Philip sitting on his shoulder with the little gun, then Philip said “All right, Lets go.” As the farmer sighed.

And after Three days of driving they finally made it to Washington D.C.
Yes! Said Philip. “All right everyone, our day has come! All of you will make a distraction of some sort and I will do the work.” “What work?” Asked the farmer “You know, Talk to the president to grant up freedom, then kill him” Said Philip in a calm voice. “No!!” yelled the farmer as he picks up Philip and throws the gun out of the window “I won’t let you do that!” “Well to bad!” Philip said as he stabbed the farmers hand with a little dart that made him pass out for a few hours and just like that the farmer was passed out in his truck on the side of the street in front of the white house.

As Philip and his gang were coming up to the White House door They began to discuss the plan. “All right so there’s about 60 of us here right now. Most of you will stay out here hidden keeping look out then I and the rest of you will go inside, I will make my way to the president room. Doug, Thor, And Adam will come with me to the president. All right let’s go!” As the rest of all the potatoes spread out and hid in the trees. Philip, Doug, Thor, And Adam waited next to the door for someone to come out then as a security guard walked out they slipped past his feet quietly and into the house.

Their plan was to get to the presidents room without being seen. So they would stay close to the walls, go behind furniture, and go around plants.

Meanwhile back on the street the farmer slowly became conscious and he couldn’t remember a thing. He looked around realizing what was he doing in Washington D.C. He looked at his hand which has a little blood from the dart trying to remember the ongoing situation. He thought real hard then remembered about the potatoes and jumped out of his truck and ran towards the white house. He approached the door then two security guards walked in front of it. “Can we help you?” asked one of the guards. “Yeah! You have to let me in!, There’s going to be an assassination!” yelled the farmer. “Oh really?” Said a guard “Yes!! The potatoes! They are going to kill the president!” “Hahaha!” Laughed the guards “Get out of here or we’ll like call the cops and stuff.” “Wait, aren’t you the cops?” asked the farmer “No dude, Were just the pizza guys.” “Oh well can I go in?” “Uhhh, Sure I guess.”

As the farmer walked into the embellished house he noticed that there was pretty much no one there. That was probably a good thing because he just wanted to stop this and get out of there so he tried to stay unnoticed so he wouldn’t be arrested.

So after a few minutes He was at the presidents door then he pushed the door open and saw Philip holding Mr. President at gun point as Philips accomplices walked towards him with guns.
Mr. President yelled “What is going on here? What are you things” “My name is Philip, I am the leader of the potato alliance. “ We have come to speak to you about our freedom.” “Freedom?” “Yes!” “Were tired of you filthy humans skinning our friends then eating the remains.” “So why are you holding a gun to me?” Asked Mr. President. If you don’t give us the freedom we deserve I’ll kill you!”

“This is crazy!” Yelled Mr. President “I’m not doing anything for you!” “Fine then, it was nice meeting you Mr. President” As Philip cocks the gun.

Then BAM!! The window shattered as a lot of people from the swat team come piling into the room. They grabbed the four potatoes and put them in hand cuffs as the farmer wondered where the swat got hand cuffs to fit a potato. They took the president to a safe room and put the potatoes in a Maximum-Security dog cage.

Then Philip saw that all of the other 56 potatoes were being eaten. “These are good potatoes!” Said a cop in the distance. The farmer walked up to the cage and laughed, “this isn’t the last time you’ll be seeing me Farmer.”

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