Feline Point of View

December 24, 2012
7:00 AM

Ring! My alarm goes off as I slowly wake up.

“Shut up.” I think as I grope for my phone, thirty seconds pass and it is still ringing, extremely irritated when I do finally find it, I throw it at the wall. The impact knocks off the back cover and pushes out the battery, turning it off, silence resuming. “Just five more minutes.” I think as I fall back asleep.
7:28 AM

“Where is that human servant?” I think as I walk over to my food bowl; empty. I frown, seeing no food. “What is taking him? I’m very hungry.” I think as I walk over to the servant’s lair, a large white wall blocking the entrance.
“I wish I had those nimble sprouts humans had, then this wouldn’t be such a problem. I thought enviously, looking at my paws. Well I guess I have to use what I got.” Stretching up and began to scratch at the wall, a few seconds pass and the servant groans with annoyance and yells something incomprehensible at me. Another few seconds pass and I hear a gasp, a creak, and then the barricade swings open. “Took you long enough!” I meowed angrily at him, batting at his ankle.
“Someone’s grumpy from hunger.” He said, smiling at me.
“Just shut up and feed me.” I meowed back. He pets me on the head. I closed my eyes and purred a little. One of the advantages of humans not being able to understand cats is that we could say anything and they wouldn’t know. So most of the time I amuse myself by saying rude things to them and laugh at their inability to understand me.
“I bet you guys are hungry huh?” He asked condescendingly as he scooped food into the food bowls, hearing my lazy sister Siu Mai rush over.
“Hey sis.” I meowed, sniffing her.
“Brother.” She meowed back, sniffing me also.
“What do you think?” I meowed to him, my sister laughed, which to the humans is a sneeze.
“Gazoontite! He said to Siu Mai, and then looked at me. Aw, it’s cute how you reply to me.” He said grinning. I just rolled my eyes and began to eat, crunching the hard kibbles with my teeth. After awhile, I felt him staring at me, I looked up at him.
“What’s wrong Har Gow?” He asked me, crouching down to my height.
“What’s wrong is that you’re staring at us, leave.” I meowed to him, flicking my tail impatiently. He apparently understood that I didn’t want him there because he left. “Finally!” I thought, relieved as I went back to eating.
8:23 AM

“I’m so full.” I thought to myself as I jumped up on the large structure the humans set up a while ago, leaping to each level until I got to the top. I sat down and watched the human run around, grabbing things, muttering to himself and finally left with a loud bang. I felt brief amusement and turned around to look through the window to the outside, surveying the humans and weird machines that moved. “Look at those humans, rushing about, holding those rectangular things, feeling all important, pathetic.” I thought amused as I watched them, floundering about. While I was watching, one of them tripped and fell, after a few seconds they picked themselves up and looked around as if making sure no one noticed.

A loud bang somewhere behind me took my attention; I rolled around and saw my brother back away from the wall carrying one of his toys in his mouth and walking slightly disorientated.

“What an idiot, can’t even look where he’s going.” I thought as I watched him. “You know, you’d be a lot smarter if you didn’t do that so much.” I meowed over to him, laughing.

“Says the cat who follows their own tail.” He retorted. Flicking his tail.

“Hey! I thought something was chasing me!” I explained. Feeling embarrassed.

“Sure, whatever you say.” He said, jumping up to the second highest pedestal, his eyes shining. “Come on sis, show me what you got!” He shouted, biting me playfully on the neck.

“I don’t wanna play!” I protested, batting him on the head.

“What? Too old to play?” He meowed tauntingly. Placing one of his paws on my head, I began to growl. “Oh, is someone getting mad?” He asked me, laughing. I swatted him hard on the side of his face.

“Don’t patronize me!” I meowed fiercely at him, growling still.

“Ah, so someone does have fight in them.” He said, he jumped up to my pedestal, forcing me to get off, I jumped off the structure and landed on the floor, he landed right next to me. “Come on sister! Don’t be the usual boring self you are.” He meowed, backing away.

“That’s it.” If you wanna fight you have one!” I meowed angrily, pouncing at him, he anticipated this however and jumped to the side, he batted at the back of my head.

“You have to be faster than that. I think your fat is slowing you down.” He told me, laughing. I bristled, flicking my tail erratically.

“You jerk!” I shouted as I feigned a pounce, as expected, he jumped to the side, this time I jumped, knocking him to the floor and keeping a paw on his throat and pinning him with my weight. “I guess being fat does help huh?” I asked him triumphantly.

“In your dreams!” He shouted, managing to roll me over with a grunt, surprising me. He bit me softly on the neck and got off me, dodging my kick.

“What’d I tell you? It just slows you down.” He meowed at me, grinning as he watched me get back on my feet. I’m bored, come back when you’ve lost five hundred pounds.” He said to me, walking away.

“Like you should talk! You’re so skinny if you turned to the side you’d disappear!” I meowed loudly at him, I saw him stop.

“At least I can walk without shaking the ground.” He shot back. That hit home.

“Take that back!” I demanded, moving my tail side to side.

“What are you gonna do about it?” He asked, sitting down, wrapping his tail around his leg, an unusual habit he did.

“This!” I said, rushing him, swinging my paw, he backed away, just out of reach. “Stay still you rat eater!” I shouted, frustrated as he continued to dodge my swipes. He jumped back, rearing to pounce. I jumped up high, all fours ready to land on him, he jumped up to meet me, I tried to swipe at his face but missed, he got me instead, batting at my belly a few times.

I landed, feeling slightly winded.

“You done yet?” He asked me, his voice sounding bored. I didn’t say anything; I just continued to pant as he walked by me. As if feeling bad for some reason, he licked me. I just stood there while I calmed down, feeling defeated. After awhile I went back to the structure and jumped up the pedestal underneath Har Gow’s and sat down, feeling tired.

“What a fun day it's been.” I thought sarcastically as I felt a wave of fatigue wash over me. “Today is today and I want it to end.” I thought as I slowly closed my eyes, and the next second later I fell asleep. Suddenly I was awoke by familiar smells, I jumped down and followed it, leading my to the wall that the humans used entered and exited through.

I heard footsteps and then the wall opened and the two big humans entered.

“Hi Siu Mai!” The female one shouted. Petting me.

“Maybe this day won’t be as bad as I thought it would be.” I thought to myself as I sat there contently.

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Rebel_without_a_cause said...
Jan. 4, 2013 at 7:22 pm
not bad imitation of a day in the eyes of a cat, nice job.
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